Posted by: Peter Hall
Directed by Philippe Martinez, 2009
Written by Robert Malkani
There are bad movies. There are stupid movies. There are shitty movies. There are awful movies. And there is Philippe Martinez’s THE CHAOS EXPERIMENT, which is an awful shitty, awful stupid, awful bad movie. And I’d say that’s an awful shame because it has Eric Roberts, Armand Assante and Val Kilmer in it, but that would be a lie. It’s not a shame. They’re grown men who have been in dozens of movies running the entire length of the quality spectrum. They know how to read a script and have a meet and greet with a director. If they didn’t pick up on how poorly constructed the script was or how inept of a director Martinez would turn out to be, I feel no shame in calling the kettle a black, steaming pile of crap.
More than likely is the scenario that all three knew what was coming and decided to just go through with it and get paid. That being the case, I don’t blame ’em. No one’s ever going to see this thing anyway, right? Even so, I’m still dubious that there weren’t better projects out there with the same pay scale.
What is shameful, however, is that I’m not only the kind of person who gives THE CHAOS EXPERIMENT a chance in the first place, but I’m the jackass who gives schlock priority over far better films. There’s stuff sitting on my DVD shelf that I own but have never seen that I’m positive is better than a mad man trapping 6 people in a steam room to prove how awful the effects of global warming will be. Yet here I am, yet again punishing myself by sitting through a film I know is going to be junk. I just have to know for myself. I never learn.