In the canon of modern horror films, Troll has become something of a footnote, overshadowed by its infamous pseudo-sequel Troll 2, an eternal member of the Great Bad Movie Pantheon. When Troll enters conversation, it’s usually to set up the joke that Troll 2 has no connection to its successor and was titled as such by greedy Italian filmmakers to cash in on a property with some, albeit limited, audience recognition. Typical Italian filmmaker behavior, in other words.
If that previous paragraph sounds slightly bitter and casually racist, well, that’s because it is. Troll being relegated to a gloomy existence in the shadow of its hilariously awful follow-up is sixteen pounds of frothing, swirling bullshit crammed into a twelve pound sack. As much fun as Troll 2 is (and it’s about as fun as a movie about goblins turning people into vegetables can be), Troll is easily the more entertaining film, a delicious hour and a half of non-sequitor weirdness that has to be seen to be believed. It’s a moderately well made film from a technical standpoint with adequate production values and creature effects that actually hold up to scrutiny, but it’s saddled with a seriously wacky screenplay that feels like the culmination of a narcotic-laced brainstorming session with an ADD-addled six year old and a cast that feels like they were plucked straight from a community theater production of King Lear: they’re acting their hearts out –just badly– and playing to the back row instead of the camera across the room.
Happy Monday, maniacs! This week, Terror Tuesday is featuring a film that, as unheard of as it may seem, lives in the shadow of its sequel. If you haven’t seen Troll 2, I hate you. That’s a bit harsh, but surely you hate your own brain if you haven’t treated it to one of the most ironically entertaining cinematic disasters ever misguidedly created. For full enlightenment as to the failings of, and subsequent cult phenomenon that is, Troll 2 seek out the sensational documentary Best Worst Movie. I have seen Troll once, and I was impossibly young at the time. I remember being freaked out by it, but again I was but a tot and would probably have been equally freaked out by loud noises or slightly ajar closet doors. I look forward to seeing Troll again to be reminded of its plot, which is no way revisited by Troll 2 which harbors no connective tissue to the original film. Bring it on!
Last Week was a standard seven days for genre news. No breaking headlines, no juicy bits of intrigue. So instead of the normal pre-jump sum, I would like to express how many smiles I got out of an exchange in the latest Apatovian flick FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL in which 3 others dissect the stupid, stupid, stupid plot of a terrible movie that the fictitious actress Sarah Marshall made the jump from TV to Film for. A movie about a cell phone that kills people, which Sarah Marshall (played by the beloved ’round these parts Kristen Bell) begrudgingly justifies signing on to by saying, “Well, it seemed right for my career at the time.”
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