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Directed by Tony Giglio, 2007
Written by Daniel Kay

TIMBER FALLS is an overall decent City Folk Shouldn’t Go Hiking flick with the potential to have been better were it not bookended by arguably the most over exposed horror set-up there is.  An attractive couple chipper enough to take a weekend long hike in the hills of West Virginia are ultimately kidnapped by a fugly hillbilly, only to have the wife escape and run into a park ranger, who is of course kin to the fuglerton.  Thus the cycle of torture and imprisonment begins again.

The problem inherent to a plot like this is not that it has been done to death, rather that the filmmakers think their audience must be complete fucking morons.  I’m not sure who Daniel Kay thought he was writing this movie for or who Tony Giglio thought he was making this movie for, but the obvious answer should have been you and I and not Them.  We’ve seen every backwoods battle flick under the sun, which is why we will see another Straight-to-DVD one.  They, whoever they are, have not and are not about to start with the no names attached TIMBER FALLS.  That being the case, for the love of all that is Chainsaw, do not wait 20 minutes into the movie to sock us with your limp plot twist that the wood folk our city heroes bumped into are also all in on the plot.  We saw that coming 30 minutes ago.

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