Posted by: Peter Hall
Written and Directed by D. Kerry Prior, 2009
There is a good movie buried within THE REVENANT, but unfortunately the film is still a few edits away from unearthing it. It’s got a solid horror-comedy skeleton to it in the form of a plot about an Iraqi war veteran who returns home, only to re-animate as a shade of his former self that can only exist if sustained by a diet of fresh human. His best friend is in out, however, and completely game for not only finding ways to keep his best friend alive, but to exploit his new undying powers. Zaniness follows.
There are two big obstacles Prior fails to overcome. The first is that the film clocks in at nearly two hours long but lacks enough substance to sustain energy throughout its run time; but again, editing can fix that right up. The second obstacle can’t be saved in post-production, however. Chris Wylde is perpetually annoying throughout the entire film, cramping what is an otherwise welcome spin on buddy comedies. Maybe I’m just not a fan of Wylde’s, but it felt like watching a movie with one of the McPoyles from “IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY” as a lead character, and if you know the McPoyles, you know just how skeevy that prospect is.
The rest of the actors help compensate, however, and the script does have a blast with its special breed of zombism, but at the length THE REVENANT currently runs, most of it is too little, too late.
Posted by: Peter Hall
Theatrical Trailers and Clips
- PANDORUM – I’ll watch anything on a spaceship.
Studio News and Attachments
- WORLD WAR Z – After the seizure that was QUANTUM OF SOLACE I want director Marc Forster as far away from Max Brooks’ novel as possible. My fears are being confirmed: IGN found he’s still working on the script. Last I recall Moriarty was praising J. Michael Straczynski’s script up and down. Has the woeful tinkering begun?
- THE HUNGER GAMES – Just got picked up for adaptation. Never heard of it, but now I’ll be heading to Amazon to grab this tale of a future in which counties must pay tribute by way of offering boys and girls for a televised death match.
- WELCOME TO HOXFORD – 1492 Entertainment picked up the IDW comic series about werewolves who run an insane asylum…
- THE HORSEMEN – Remember that Platinum Dunes flick about the apocalypse? No? Well it starred Dennis Quaid and recieved a chupacabra-esque release last week.
- NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET – Jackie Earle Haley is exchanging a few words with Platinum Dunes over possibly taking on our favorite oven toasted pedophile. I’m not convinced we’re that lucky.
- HELLRAISER – Pascal Laugier reveals that his first draft is in and that his HELLRAISER will be a reboot combination of Barker’s film and the original HELLBOUND HEART novella.
- RE-ANIMATOR – Remember the news that there was a 3-D remake of Stuart Gordon’s classic in the wings? Well its bullshit.
- HEBERT WEST: THE SERIES – Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the case with the O.C.ification of Lovecraft’s entire works.
- MOTEL HELL – Steven C. Miller of AUTOMATON TRANSFUSION says he’s doing a remake of MOTEL HELL for MGM.
Indie, Foreign and Random News
- THE REVENANT – I was indifferent to the story of an Iraq vet resurrecting with a blood lust Stateside, until this bit from the official site, “Bart will learn that he must eventually embrace the path of his own horrific destiny… all while cruising in a 1979 Camaro with a surfboard on the roof.” Now I don’t know whether to laugh or set a time machine to its release.
- MEGA SHARK VERSUS GIANT OCTOPUS – Starring not only Lorenzo Lamas but Debbie Gibson. Yes, that Debbie Gibson.
- IT’S A WONDERFUL AFTERLIFE – Is not actually a scary version of IT’S A WONDERFUL life, rather a horromedy about a mother who kills off unsuitable suitors for her daughter.
Non-Theatrical Trailers and Clips