Welcome, mortals, to The Weekly Offering. Here, we present our dark gifts in hopes that we please the Ancient Ones, that they might spare us. They are satisfied with our humble sacrifices of news, images, reviews, and commentary through the week, but on Fridays, they desire more. Their weekends, their unholy Sabbath, know no bounds. And so, to satisfy their bloodlust, as well as yours, we bring you these short, savory offerings.
New Images From Rob Zombie’s ‘The Lords of Salem’
Like him or not, you have to admit that Rob Zombie certainly makes an interesting horror film.
His latest project, The Lords of Salem, which still has yet to received a release date, has released four new photos. The film seems to be taking on a more supernatural style compared to his previous films. During the infamous Salem witch trials, many innocent people were tried as witches and executed. However, four real witches who were subjected to the same punishment swore revenge. Three hundred years later, a radio DJ unwittingly brings about a curse upon the modern city.
Check out the images below, and let’s hope that Mr. Zombie continues to bring us original works, and stays away from classics like Halloween.
Tugg is Bringing ‘Bait’ to a Flooded Cinema Near You
No film about sharks will ever beat Jaws. No, no they won’t. Shut up, you know I’m right.
But that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t at least try. Director Kimble Rendall is making such an attempt with Bait 3D from Anchor Bay Films. A tsunami roars ashore and floods a small town, trapping several people inside a flooded grocery store. They soon learn that it’s not the water they have to worry about, but rather the great white shark that is swimming through the aisles.
This reminds me of a thought I once had when I was seven years old and visiting a natural history museum. The museum had a tank with a few small sharks in it. I always loved this section of the museum, because it was the first time I had seen sharks in real life. During one visit (yes there were multiple ones, I’m a nerd), I had the sudden mental image of the tank shattering, the room filling with water, and the sharks biting off my feet. Hey, I was a kid!
So, naturally, the concept of this film does hold some allure. I can only hope that it is more Piranha 3D and less Shark Night 3D. In other words, it needs to be fun, and not try to take itself too seriously. The cast makes me raise an eyebrow, with credits including Step Up 3D and Twilight, but everyone has to start somewhere, right?
Do you have any interest in seeing limbs ripped apart in the frozen food section? Then you should check out Tugg. If you’ve never heard of the site, it allows film fans to have a say in what movies come to their local cinemas. With enough support, you can bring Bait 3D and other films to your eagerly awaiting eyes and ears. Click here to learn more about Tugg, and scroll that mouse over here to get Bait 3D in your favorite theater.
In the meantime, I think I’ll be avoiding the seafood section of my local grocery store for a while.
Everyone likes free stuff and everyone wants free stuff and I happen to have some free stuff that I can give away, but not to everyone. Unlike the JU-ON: THE GRUDGE giveaway, however, two people will end up finding their mailbox stuffed with free stuff this time around. And if you couldn’t deduce it from the cryptic headline, Sony Pictures Home Entertainment has given me two copies of Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN 2 to giveaway in honor of the film’s release on DVD and Blu-ray tomorrow, January 12th.
Having not actually seen the film, I’m not one to smite it just yet, but I think it’s safe to say you already know whether or not this is something you’d like to have in your collection. So head on up to the contact button in the top right of this page and make use of your keyboard. Send me an email with the subject line “H2 For Free Please” and you’re good to go. Let’s say you have until Thursday at noon CST to accomplish this burdensome task.
THE DESCENT: PART 2 – I’m just going to assume this is going to end up in theaters. A lot of people are shitting on this trailer, but I dig the idea of having her go back down in the caves, which is surprising considering I still hate that stupid movie.
DEADMAN – Guillermo Del Toro will be producing for Warner Brothers an adaptation of the DC Comics series Deadman about the vengeful ghost of a slain trapeze artist. Someone named Nikolaj Arcel to direct.
LAKE MUNGO – After Dark films announces Australia’s LAKE MUNGO will be it’s third title for January’s Horrorfest. It joins THE GRAVES (shitty poster here) and Clive Barker’s DREAD.
DREAM HOUSE – Daniel Craig is the next big name actor to relocate his family to a house in the countryside that was previously, but unbeknown to the new owners, host to all kinds of cheerful murders. Get a new fucking storyline, Hollywood.
VANISHING ON SEVENTH STREET – Hayden Christensen is heading towards Brad Anderson’s return to horror by way of a ghost town that specializes in making, well, more ghosts.
BURKE AND HARE – Simon Pegg joins John Landis’ return to feature length horror, a “true-story” period piece about men who sell the dead to universities.
SWAMP THING – I suppose this might not technically count as a remake of the previous film(s), but Joel Silver wants to bring back Swamp Thing. And it being 2009, he of course would like to do that in 3D.
THE BLOB – Rob Zombie will be remaking THE BLOB, though he’s sick and tired of that stupid, big, red, blobby thing killing people. He’ll just leave that part out.
Indie, Foreign and Random News
SPAWN – Not a lot of solid facts here, but according to Todd McFarlane’s Twitter feed, SPAWN will be returning to the world of TV animation.
PHANTASM V? – Seems there is a new PHANTASM project on the horizon, but there are no solid details as to what that means.
STAN HELSING – Because we all need non-theatrical SCARY MOVIE wannabes in our life, STAN HELSING comes out October 27th.
HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN – The GRINDHOUSE competition winning fake trailer HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN, from the gents behind TREEVENGE, is going feature length.
Last Week in Horror we finally started to see some marketing material for studio backed films and I couldn’t be more saddened? Why? Well, of the four studio clips, three are for remakes and the other is a PG-13 teen shocker that I’m going to guess will most heavily be advertised on MTV and MySpace.
Oh well, some cool news. FearNET will be showing MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN for free on its service all through October. That said, it has yet to show up on my local FearNET OnDemand menu, but then again Comcast is a fucking abysmal corporation and my OnDemand (and internet) is rarely functioning.
» Emily in The Pros and Cons of the Zombie Apocalypse
I read this post with glee and I couldn’t agree more. If you were an elite member of a para-military group or a ninja you may survive for a while. But if you are sitting in front of your computer eating cheezy...