Theatrical Trailers and Clips

• TERMINATOR SALVATION – Sorry, no actual horror clips abound this week.

Studio News and Attachments

• THE APPARITION – Dark Castle films slates up another, this time the ambiguously titled haunted house’r.
• DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK – Katie Homles is headlining the Guillermo del Toro produced creature feature?
• JEKYLL – Keanu Reeves is now taking on the roles to be written by REVOLUTIONARY ROAD scriptor Justin Haythe?

Remakes

• H2 – Michael Myers is not a Necromancer.  Michael Myers is not a Necromancer.  Michael Myers is not a Necromancer.
• MOTHER’S DAY – Three production shingles, including Brett Ratner’s, are planning a franchise, the first of which will be directed by Darren Bousman.
• CHILDREN OF THE CORN – Is that Officer Dualla with hair growing out of her eyes?

Indie, Foreign and Random News

• DEAD LOSS – Chris Gorak, who made the admirable RIGHT AT YOUR DOOR (review), is directing DEAD LOSS which is basically “DEADLIEST CATCH” with a horror twist.
• David Slade is Diplomatic – And also a liar.
• MANDY LANE – Senator has once again shelved ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE (review)from its July 17th release date.  The region free Blu-ray is down to $15.
• [REC] – A US DVD finally comes out on July 14th.

Non-Theatrical Trailers

• THE BECKONING – Spanish ghosts.
• DOGHOUSE – From EVIL ALIENS helmer Jake West.
• BLOOD: THE LAST VAMPIRE – US Trailer
• POSSUM WALK – Teaser.
• IT ATE HIS FACE – Trailer

Note: was anyone else aware that South Korea has a reality show about exorcisms?  And that its music is the SAW theme?

Also, what billiards game involves a blue pool table with no pockets and only three balls, the goal of which, as far as I can surmise, is to hit both balls after bouncing off at least two of the rails?  I really want to know what this is called as it is on TV All. The. Time.

Theatrical Trailers and Clips

Sorry, bone dry.

Studio News and Attachments

• Francis Lawrence swears there is no rush on figuring out a script for I AM ALMOST LEGEND, studio coffers will eventually say otherwise.
• Emma Stone joins Woody Harrelson in ZOMBIELAND.
• Why was I unaware that Joe Dante was filming a 3D film called THE HOLE about a bottomless pit discovered in a basement?

Remakes

• Some guy named Mathijs van Heijningen Jr is posed to direct the Ronald D. Moore scripted remake/prequel/reboot of THE THING for Strike Entertainment.  Great, another American company outsources a prime job!
• Emmanuel Chriqui joins the ensemble of the 13 TZAMETI remake, which damn well better be more intense than the original, which made a great trailer, but a warmed over feature.  Come on now, how hard is it to make a movie about a Russian Roulette tournament nerve racking?
• The kick ass Radha Mitchell joins THE CRAZIES remake helmed by Breck Eisner with Timothy “Emperor of Eyebrow Acting” Olyphant as the male lead.

Indie, Foreign and Random News

• I’ll try to remember to remind when it gets closer, but Canada will release [REC] on Region 1 DVD January 27th.
• Charisma Carpenter to play a novelist who travels to the mistrusting, vision-filled English countryside to finish her latest book in VIVID.
• Ever wonder what the guy who made THE FLY II was up to these days?  Me neither, but the answer is BABY ZOMBIES.
• The Sci-Fi channel bought the rights to premiere it in the States this summer, but Eric Red’s Famke Jensen starring ghostie 100 FEET will hit UK DVD shelves in March.
• Does anyone actually faint at movies?  I thought that was always a publicity gag? Weinberg’s attendance to a Sundance run of undead baby loving GRACE supposedly had two.  He was one.

Non-Theatrical Trailers and Clips

• GRACE – Teaser.  Playing enthusiastically at Sundace, so expect this to find its way into theaters
• SEVENTH MOON – Featurette.  Go Ed Sanchez!
• SYMPATHY – Trailer
• NINE MILES DOWN – Trailer
• KNIFE EDGE – Trailer

Directed by John Erick Dowdle, 2008
Written by John Erick Dowdle & Drew Dowdle, based on 2007′s [REC]

QUARANTINE is nothing to me but a surrogate for everything wrong with Hollywood horror.  Production began on it before [REC] had even left post-production in its native Spain, which may just be a world record for fastest Hollywood remake.  Despite [REC] becoming the festival hit of 2007 and 2008, proving that the original film in its original state was an undeniable success, here we stand not twelve months later.  In the United States [REC] has yet to receive any commercial setting, be it limited theatrical run or a bare bones DVD.  Instead the stakeholders have given us an inferior American remake equipped with inferior performances under the eye of an inferior director, yet conversely boasts an astonishing superiority in the field of recreating to the tiniest detail every major set piece from its Spanish progenitor.

Thus I disclose my biased position in this review.  I might be in the position to call QUARANTINE a good movie were I able to shake the indelible memories of [REC].  That just taint the case, however, especially given John Dowdle’s slavish attention to detail in recreating the set pieces, the camera’s point of view therein and the script’s jolt’s throughout.  There are a few minor differences, mind you, but in no capacity can anything in this Screen Gems produced cash-grab be considered an improvement.

In fact, every addition to QUARANTINE over [REC] is a concession at the expense of audience enjoyment.  As should be expected from America, global leader of a rising obesity epidemic, the only original elements brought to the table are ones of bloat.  Bloated length, bloated script, bloated explanations.  Expansions where none was needed that do little but bog down the experience.  And since I’ve seen [REC], I’ve experienced QUARANTINE.  Maybe for the uninitiated watching this will be as delightfully frightful as watching the original, but that was not the case for me.  The last time I checked my watch this often I was sitting naked in an exam room waiting for the doctor.  Come to think of it, QUARANTINE had as much entertainment to offer me as that office did.  Or, more accurately, it did not.  I may actually take something away from reading year old issues of HIGHLIGHTS, I took nothing from QUARANTINE.

Last Week in Horror, The items of most interest to me belong to genre brother Sci-Fi.  Alex Proyas’ latest film, KNOWING, finally got a trailer, albeit a derivative, uninvolved one.  But I love DARK CITY so much, even Nicholas Cage’s forehead couldn’t keep me away.  Same goes for Keanu Reeves’, well, entire self in THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL remake.

Also, I was sent a press release regarding a contest for Electronic Arts’ forthcoming survival horror game DEAD SPACE.  Normally I’d not pass along such a thing, but DEAD SPACE happens to be a title I’ve been anticipating.  Not to mention the 100 film prize pack at the end of the rainbow is a bounty worth coveting.