January 5th:

Ah, THE FINAL DESTINATION.  I hate to go for the obvious pun here, but, well, let’s all hope it’s the actual final chapter in a series that has been going down hill for the better part of a decade.  But hey, it’s the only major release of the week, so unless you’re dying to shell out some money for the WICKED LAKE Blu-ray (and if you are, please don’t admit it), this is about as good as it gets the first week of January.

January 12th:

Fuck me, 2010 is not getting off to a good start.  First we get the new worst entry in a series where death is the invisible ghost of Rube Goldberg and now we get the new worst movie made by Rob Zombie, which is a feat unto itself.  I think I may finally get around to reviewing HALLOWEEN II.  Should be a nice refresher vocabulary course, as I’ll need to look up new ways to say “It’s a piece of shit.”

Other titles of the week include something called DARK RAGE and a DVD four pack that includes GOTHIKA, QUEEN OF THE DAMNED, DREAMCATCHER , and GHOST SHIP.  Note, the product description does not clarify whether said four pack also comes with smelling salts to wake you from the stuppor watching said four pack will put you in.

On a sci-fi note, do yourself a favor and blind buy Duncan Jones’ MOON.

January 19th:

And the hits just keep on coming.  If you’d like to watch Kate Beckinsale slowly undress from a bulky parka to a sports bra, then WHITEOUT (review) is right up your alley.  If you like good movies, then WHITEOUT is nowhere near your alley.  In fact, it’s so bad that the promise of a very, very briefly and PG-13 sexualized Beckinsale is not in any way worth the price of admission.

Next up is BLOOD CREEK, previously known as TOWN CREEK, which is a movie you’d be excused for not knowing exists.  I’ve actually heard pretty decent things about this Joel Schumacher directed flick, which Lionsgate quietly (and briefly) dropped into dollar theaters in 2009, so it’s probably worth a rental.

From there things shape up even more in the form of PANDORUM, a flick I kind of regret missing in theaters after it get decent, almost apologetic word of mouth.  Don’t really care for any of the cast beyond Ben Foster – and Paul W.S. Anderson’s name isn’t very encouraging – but set a horror movie on a spaceship and I’m automatically in.

January 26th:

Will today finally see me actually laying down money to own a SAW film?  I think so.  After all, SAW VI (review) was one of the most pleasant surprises horror had to offer last year.  Can I imagine myself watching it over and over?  Nah, but the Blu-ray will definitely find itself on my shelf eventually.

Beyond that, however, we’ve got a couple catalog titles (here’s looking at you original TOOLBOX MURDERS on Blu) and a couple scrappy-looking straight-to-video movies (Frank “BASKET CASE” Henenlotter’s BAD BIOLOGY streets, though Amazon doesn’t have a picture) to round out a rather meager month’s worth of horror movie offerings.

Oh, and though it’s been available for rental in America and purchase in Canada for months now, the fascinating experiment that is PONTYPOOL (review) should finally be stocked on your local shelves come this Tuesday.

Netflixing the Month:

1. SAW 6
2. PANDORUM
3. BAD BIOLOGY
4. BLOOD CREEK
5. WHITEOUT
6. THE FINAL DESTINATION
7. HALLOWEEN 2

So if you’re a foreign horror nut, please let me know if I’ve missed anything.  For US releases only, see the regular guide.

July 13^th:

HAUNTED ECHOES, available on Region 2 DVD from Amazon.co.uk for ~$12.

From XTRO franchise creator Harry Bromley Davenport, HAUNTED ECHOES is about a couple who are haunted by a young ghost after their daughter is murdered.  Starring Sean Young and Juliet Landau.

July 20^th:

SWITCHBLADE ROMANCE, available on Region B Blu-ray from Amazon.co.uk for ~$18.

Most should recognize SWITCHBLADE ROMANCE as the UK title for Alexandre Aja’s HIGH TENSION.  I love the film and would order this Blu-ray in a second, but I’ll have to hold off until I can confirm it is not rlocked to Region B.

July 21^st:

PONTYPOOL, available on Region 1 DVD from Amazon.ca for ~$22.

I’m repeating myself here, but you can currently catch the Canadian hit PONTYPOOL (review) on IFC On-Demand, but on July 21st, you’ll be able to own it on a format that’ll play in all US DVD players.  It’s weird, creepy, resourceful and inventive.  Definitely worth checking out.

July 24^th:

ALBINO FARM, available on Region 2 DVD from Amazon.de for ~$13.

Don’t know anything about anyone involved with ALBINO FARM, but it’s not every day you come across a horror movie set in the Ozarks, which is a place I love.  Then again, it is pretty much every day that you come across a horror movie about city folk attacked by mutant rednecks.  ALBINO FARM has a Dutch R2 DVD with only Dutch subs, but since the film is in English, that shouldn’t be a problem.

July 27^th:

EMBODIMENT OF EVIL, availble on Region 2 DVD from Amazon.co.uk for ~$18.

I feel like I should be more familiar with the Coffin Joe series, but it’s just another thread of films I never got around to.  Those for a love of the Spanish films, which go back to the ’60s, I think, may want to check out this newest entry.

When the ADF Horrorfest started three years ago it was hard to hide the hope one had for a once a year event designed to bring the horror festival experience to the non-festival crowd.  Then the ‘fest’ actually arrived and all the noble(?) intentions were for naught. It was a financial fumble the first year out.  Turns out the only people who appreciate the highs and lows of festival horror are the people who go to horror festivals.  Whodathunk?  Plus it doesn’t help that the ADF lineup was less the highs and more the lows.  Year after year this axiom proved truer, the ‘festival’ picked up lamer and lamer titles and locked in narrower and narrower clients who were suckered in to exhibiting said pseudo-fest.  This past January I would have had to drive for over an hour to catch a glimpse of any of ADF’s 2009 titles.  I don’t even have to get off the couch to catch IFC’s Midnight Movies.

Essentially both IFC and ADF attempted the same thing, but only one of them got it right.  While ADF was busy giving niche release to justifiably unreleased titles, IFC’s talent scouts signed up genuine festival buzzers and have given them simultaneous release to both brick and mortar and home theaters alike.  With an expected roster of 30 titles in 2009, I predict that IFC is going to put the final nail in the casket of ADF’s horrorfest within a year- two tops.  That or After Dark is going to have to ape the format (I sense a FEARnet collaboration in the future?).  Even if they do, however, I wouldn’t call it a comeback.  IFC’s acquisition’s department game is just too good.

I already gave a brief overview of the lineup to come, but now that I’ve had a chance to sit down with a few more of the titles my assumptions have only been reaffirmed.  Unfortunately this post has been neglected on the site and some of these titles may no longer be available through IFC OnDemand.

HUSH

It’s good stuff out of England, perhaps my favorite Don’t Fuck With Truckers film since BREAKDOWN, which I have no problem admitting hooks me every time.

Requiring little background is the much buzzed about DEAD SNOW from Norway.  It’s hard to not garner word of mouth when dealing with Nazi Zombies so I don’t think I really need to explain more about the movie other than it is readily available for anyone who has access to IFC.  Expect a review in the next week or so.

Then there are the titles on the horizon.  ANTICHRIST, easily the most talked about title out of this year’s Cannes’ film festival, has just been optioned by IFC for its duo On-Demand/Theatrical release platform starting October 21^st.  Arriving two months prior will be Glass Eye Pix’s I SELL THE DEAD.  Coincidentally, right as I typed those words an IM popped up from R.J. Sayer declaring the horror comedy about a grave robber, which he had just seen at the LA Film Festival, as “pretty damn good”.  Those of us not in LA only have the short wait of August to catch I SELL THE DEAD.

They’re done for.  IFC has proven it pays to risk being ahead of the curve.

Few works evoke a compliment as endearing as calling something Cronenbergian.  A comparison to the great director (my favorite director still working today, for disclosure purposes) is not one I make lightly, but even without a single element of body horror, early Cronenberg is precisely what Bruce McDonald elicits with his rapturously weird PONTYPOOL.  The superficial connection is that of the director’s shared homeland of Canada, but beyond that is a sibling ability to interweave oddities of the human condition with layers of captivating intimacy.  The resulting cinematic tapestry is nothing short of end to end fascination.

Set entirely within the confines of a radio station situated in the basement of a small town’s church, PONTYPOOL is about a talk show host whose dying career is revitalized when reports start to trickle in of an unexplainable surge of man on man violence originating from a doctor’s office in the small titular Canadian province.  Grant Mazzy, the radio host played with addictive discord by Stephen McHattie, his producer Sydney Briar and technical assistant Laurel Ann, are the barbs on the end of the hook that is Tony Burgess’ script, itself in turn an adaptation of his own book about a new strain of rage inducing virus.  Their story within the walls of that church strings a realistic arch from disbelief to pure insanity and all the highs and lows both expected and unexpected along the way.

The idea that what is happening outside, as ambiguous as it be, is an Orwell era hoax soon dispels as Mazzy and co find themselves the sole bridge between the strange events in Pontypool and the clueless world beyond it. 

As is always the case with single-setting movies, the headwind any director faces is how to keep a film visually arresting.  Production design goes a long way to this end, a requirement director Bruce McDonald knows quite well.  I’ve not read Burgess’ source material, but setting the radio station (and its pristine sound proof recording booth) in the basement of an old church is an inspired dichotomy on screen.  It provides enough space to play around in editing wise while maintaining a central safety zone for the script to always retreat to (the booth).  Plus, well, it all just looks fantastic thanks to the vivid cinematography.

More important than production design, however, in keeping events apace is the script.  Not only is its mystery unconventional and original (to the screen), but the triumvirate of characters banter back and forth in an admirably organic way.  Anchoring the film is, of course, Stephen McHattie, whose calm, gravely voice is perfect for the radio, but it’s his entire screen presence that draws the viewer nearer to the character every time McDonald pushes the camera in for a close-up.  The side characters are not as well fleshed as the shock jock doing small town radio in Canada after getting the axe in America, but they’re sturdy enough support when the blizzard of shit demolishes the fan.

I’ll not ruin the crux of the film’s mystery, but it is certainly a first in the film world (though the idea behind this particular vector for infection stems back to Neal Stephenson’s cyperpunk blowout novel SNOW CRASH) and a welcome mutation on the proven zombie formula.  It is an understandable concession to say that the ending of PONTYPOOL is disproportionate to the conversely flawless first two thirds.  The revelations and resolutions reached make perfect sense in the world Burgess and McDonald created, but one could sympathize with viewers who find its leap(s) inaccessible.  What’s reached is a bizarre, heady blend that doesn’t sacrifice its far flung kookiness for frozen dinner-esque simplicity.  I for one respect swinging for the fences.

And swing for fences Bruce McDonald does.  He never stalls, never hesitating on an opportunity to ratchet up the weird, just pitch after pitch he does his own thing.  The material at hand is sharp and original, bending free of conventions, playing with everything from sound waves (there is a bass frequency resonating low throughout the movie like a growling creature ready to roar) to the human need for connectivity with others to the English language itself.

The whole production is a carefree freak of nature, which I say with great endearment.  Bruce McDonald wasn’t afraid to make a film so far outside the box it makes the box itself look like a straight line.  PONTYPOOL knows it is weird, knows it sits at a lunch table all its own but doesn’t care.  It rages and raves in its own dense atmosphere of “What If?”, which I respect.

You won’t be seeing another movie like PONTYPOOL any time soon, that’s for sure.

PONTYPOOL will be in theaters and On-Demand from IFC Films starting May 29th.

Firstly, if you’re unfamiliar, the Independent Film Channel opened an On-Demand portal a few months ago, debuting films into theaters and homes at the same time.  In the beginning most of the titles were, for obvious reasons, Indie dramas.  This year, however, they’re branching head first into the orbit of our beloved genre with their Midnight titles, of which they have 30 lined up for 2009.  A few will be theatrical pushes, the majority will be available via On-Demand on most cable providers.  I’ll break out the heavy title boasting full slate from April through September after this jump, but in the mean time I want to talk about THE CHASER.  It is not a horror film, but I place a patent pending HND seal of approval upon it all the same.

Not only is THE CHASER  the debut of first time writer/director Hong-jin Na, but it is also my favorite Korean film since 2003′s MEMORIES OF MURDER.  Yes, better than THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE WEIRD.  Better than THE HOST.  Better than even OLDBOY.  I picked up a copy of it when I was in Seoul and wish I’d grabbed six more to give away to friends.  I almost don’t want to say word one as to what it is about, but I suppose I’ll simplify how unconventional of a thriller it is by describing it as being about a pimp who gets caught up in the web of a serial killer who has been hiring out and killing off his girls.

It is a phenomenal film.  Please go check it out.  IFC has it for a few bucks, you won’t regret it.

This Spring/Summer, IFC Films will be releasing two highly anticipated horror films via its IFC in Theaters platform which brings acclaimed independent movies to on demand viewers in more than 50 million homes across the country the same week they premiere as an exclusive engagement in New York and/or Los Angeles. The films are:

• * PONTYPOOL (May 29th) — 2008 Toronto Film Festival favorite directed by Bruce McDonald and starring Stephen McHattie about a radio station that comes under the attack of zombies; the film also had its U.S. premiere last month at the SXSW Film Festival and the Museum of Modern Art’s prestigious Canadian Front 2009
• * DEAD SNOW (June 12th) — a thrilling Norwegian horror-comedy about a group of medical students on a holiday who must make it through the night when they are attacked by Nazi-zombies; direct from its world premiere at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival.

APRIL IFC FESTIVAL DIRECT ON-DEMAND TITLES — DIRECT FROM THE CANNES FILM FESTIVAL

Each month IFC Films offers two to four new genre titles via its IFC Festival Direct on-demand service. These films are available nationwide for 90 days on most major cable systems representing more than 30 million households and can be found in a special “IFC In Theaters” “IFC Festival Direct” or “IFC Midnight” branded section within each cable company’s on- demand platform. The dynamic April lineup includes two critically acclaimed films direct from the 2008 Cannes Film Festival: THE CHASER and FRONTIER OF DAWN.

THE CHASER, directed by Na Hong-Jin, won seven 2008 Korean Film Awards including Best Picture, Director, Actor and Screenplay and was a massive box office hit in South Korea. It premiered at Cannes in the Official Selection and was quickly snapped up for an American remake by the producers of THE DEPARTED and Warner Brothers. An edge-of-your-seat crime thriller, the film follows a pimp who sets out to find out what’s happened to his missing call girls. The film takes the trappings of the serial killer movie and turns them upside down for one of the more
unforgettable films of the genre.

Also from Cannes is FRONTIER OF DAWN. Directed by the acclaimed French auteur Phillipe Garrel (REGULAR LOVERS), the film stars Louis Garrel and Laura Smet in a tempestuous tale of amour fou. FRONTIER OF DAWN comes to IFC Festival Direct following its limited theatrical run during the 2009 BAMcinematek’s Focus on IFC Films series where it received rave critical notices (http://movies.nytimes.com/2009/03/06/movies/06dawn.html).

Rounding out the April lineup are A L’AVENTURE, a no-holds-barred sexy and erotic drama from one of Europe’s most controversial filmmakers, Jean-Claude Brisseau, and HUSH, a horror-thriller directed by the emerging British filmmaker Mark Tonderai and starring sexy newcomers Will Ash and Christine Bottomley in the story of a deranged kidnapping truck-driver with terrifying plans for his human cargo.

COMPLETE APRIL LINEUP:
THE CHASER – April 8th through July 7th
HUSH – April 8th through July 7th
FRONTIER OF DAWN – April 22nd through July 21st
A L’AVENTURE – April 15th through July 14th

MAY IFC FESTIVAL DIRECT ON-DEMAND TITLES — FEATURING SUPERNATURAL THRILLER DARK MIRROR

The May IFC Festival Direct Midnight lineup features Pablo Proenza’s critically-acclaimed supernatural psychological thriller DARK MIRROR.The film stars Lisa Vidal in the story of a photographer who moves her family into a home filled with mirrors which seem to reflect a different reality. Also in May is CADAVER, a portentous mix of claustrophobic menace and old-fashioned gore from South Korean filmmaker Derek Son. The film centers on a group of medical students who embark upon their first autopsy in an apparently cursed medical department. CADAVER premiered at the Edinburgh Film Festival in 2008.

COMPLETE MAY LINEUP:
DARK MIRROR – May 6th through August 4th
CADAVER – May 20th through August 18th

JUNE IFC FESTIVAL DIRECT ON-DEMAND TITLES — ACCLAIMED TRIBECA FILM FEAR ME NOT

The June IFC Festival Direct Midnight lineup features the acclaimed psychological thriller FEAR ME NOT from the award-winning Danish director Kristian Levring. In this intensely chilling film, a run-down middle-aged workaholic (Ulrich Thomsen) enrolls in a clinical trial for a new antidepressant without telling his family. When the trial is abandoned because of dangerous side effects, he continues to take the medication, triggering a hellish descent into madness. FEAR ME NOT premiered at the 2008 Toronto Film Festival and will also be shown at the upcoming Tribeca Film Festival. Also in June is the Spanish arthouse film DIARY OF A NYMPHOMANIAC. The film tells the erotically charged story of a middle-class French girl’s unbridled trysts in hotels, parks, cemeteries, her fall into prostitution, the ins-and-outs of a brothel and her final redemption.

COMPLETE JUNE LINEUP:
FEAR ME NOT – June 10th through September 9th
DIARY OF A NYMPHOMANIAC – June 24th through September 23rd

• THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT – Five clips.
• THE BOOB – I didn’t want this section to be empty and since this very short short is playing at SXSW…

Studio News and Attachments

• MANDY LANE – Senator is finally going to release ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE (review) on July 17th?  I wouldn’t count on it.
• SPLICE – Senator must be on a PR kick as they also slipped Bloody-Disgusting some photos from the upcoming Vincenzo Natali directed chimera-horror flick.  Pics look great, though if one commenter is to believed, the script is awful.
• REPOSSESSION MAMBO – The Jude Law starring sci-fi tale of borrowed organs gets an R rating.

Remakes

• FRIDAY THE 13TH 2 – How does BD surmise the headline, “FRIDAY THE 13TH Sequel Officially Announced” and then link to a source article that clearly states, “Insiders caution that there is no green light”.  We all know there is going to be a F13², but man, let’s wait until that “officially” means the same thing the dictionary says it does.
• THE BIRDS – According to Brenna Roth, who is in talks for a role in the Platinum Dunes recash, THE BIRDS will be shot in 3-D.
• TOTAL RECALL – Neal H. Moritz, yes the NHM curse of PROM NIGHT ’08, is allegedly bringing TOTAL RECALL back to the big screen his bank account.
• SORORITY ROW 2 – Summit has yet to release the remake of THE HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW and already the sequel is on a word processor somewhere.

Indie, Foreign and Random News

• 100 FEET – The Sci-Fi channel will be premiering Eric Red’s impressive haunter (review) on April 26th.

Non-Theatrical (US) Trailers and Clips

• PONTYPOOL – Second Trailer.
• ..OF THE DEAD – Behind the Scenes clip from Romero’s new, still untitled entry.
• BUPPAH RAHTREE – The third sequel in the Thai horror/comedy RAHTREE franchise.
• MEAT GRINDER – Extended Thai trailer.

Theatrical Trailers and Clips

• THE SHORTCUT – Trailer.
• THE HORSEMAN – 13 second clip.

Studio News and Attachments

• DRAG ME TO HELL – Test screenings are going out for both a PG-13 and R cut of Sam Raimi’s return to horror.  Rut roh.
• MY BLOODY VALENTINE – Exec producer John Dunning tells Fango he originally he gave Lionsgate a script for a sequel to the original MBV, which may soon be repurposed as a sequel to MBV3D.
• THE KILLER INSIDE ME – Kate Hudson rounds out the cast for THE KILLER INSIDE ME, which now includes Casey Affleck, Elias Koteas and Bill Pullman.
• ZOMBIELAND – Speaking of casting, Amber Heard joins Woody Harrelson and all the rest.
• HACK/SLASH – Nick Principe will be playing 4 of the 5 slashers (though no description of who they are from the comic series), hints that the role of Cassie Hack is now between three high profile actors.  Guess they’re really going this thing.
• BEASTLY – CBS Films wants some of thems Twilight’s monies, is putting young adult horror/romance novel BEASTLY on the big screen.
• “VAMPIRE DIARIES” – Kevin Williamson has penned the pilot for CW’s new supernatural show.

Remakes

Plenty of news this week on sequels to remakes, but no remakes themselves.

Indie, Foreign, and Random News

• …OF THE DEAD – Romero says the social cross hairs of his new zombie opus will be on ‘tribalism’.
• PONTYPOOOL – IFC Films will be releasing the ‘rage virus spread by the English language’ flick in May, which likely means IFC will be putting it OnDemand as well as in theaters.
• CABIN FEVER 2 – Ti West talks CF2, reveals its status languishing in the post-production hell of ‘creative differences’.
• SAVANT – Blair Witch’s Daniel Myrick’s next film is about a smooth talker who can turn anyone into a mass murderer after simply having a chat with them.

Non-Theatrical Trailers and Clips

• TRIANGLE – Trailer for Christopher Smith’s (aka the guy who made CREEP, aka the banner for this site) new film.  I’m excited despite this trailer being gobbledygook.
• INFESTATION – Trailer.  Giant bugs and Ray Wise.  Sold.
• DEADLINE – Indie starring Brittany Murphy and Thora Birch that looks like a female version of James Van Der Beek’s FINAL DRAFT.  Sad that I’ve seen FINAL DRAFT.
• DARK ISLAND – Stilted acting and stiff direction, but it looks like a lot of fun and sports the “LOST” smoke monster to boot.
• SURVEILLANCE – Jennifer Lynch directed and produced by her father.

• THE HAUNTING OF MOLLY HARTLET – 6 Minute clip
• THE UNINVITED – Clip
• 100 FEET – Clip

Studio News and Attachments

• New rash of MPAA ratings out: ALONE IN THE DARK 2 is PG-13, as is Richard Kelly’s THE BOX, while both DYING BREED and RESIDENT EVIL: DEGENERATION (the CGI movie) get an R.
• Remember TYRANNOSAURUS REX, Rob Zombie’s next movie news has been trickling on for months now?  Has nothing even close to resembling a script; “All I have is one sentence.“
• I thought I had only just read about it being adapted, but already BD has some pics from Clive Barker’s DREAD.
• After Dark released the majority of their posters for January’s Horrorfest, but all I care about is the sweet job on Lena Headey’s face for THE BROKEN.
• HBO axed it, so now Sam Mendes is going to bring PREACHER to the big screen.
• A good sign for a possible release: Warner Brothers has begun test screening TRICK ‘R TREAT.  I don’t know why they’re even bothering, didn’t they get the fellating?

Remakes

Really?  No big news?  I must be missing something…

Indie, Foreign and Random News

• Is Ron Perlman interested in taking over for Bruce in BUBBA NOSFERATU?
• You need to check out LEFT 4 DEAD’S badass opening cinematic.
• Please call it JACK BROOKS: MONSTER SLAY HARDER.

Non-Theatrical Trailers and Clips

• CRAWLER – Teaser
• LADY BLOOD – Teaser
• THE ALPHABET KILLER – Trailer
• THE LONG WEEKEND – All animals vs All Humans!?
• LAID TO REST – Clip
• PONTYPOOL – Trailer
• VIY – English trailer

Oh, and in case you don’t refresh the site every 14 seconds like I do, Cinematical now has a routine horror news re-cap from its own genre head Scott Weinberg.  Now my weekly job is a lottt easier.