BLOOD FEAST 2: ALL U CAN EAT Review [Netflix Watch Instantly]

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Directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis, 2002
Written by W. Boyd Ford

As a thirteen-year-old there wasn’t much more exciting for me than spending the night at friend’s house and getting to rent whatever the heck we wanted to because his parents didn’t care. I wasn’t overly sheltered as a child when it came to R-rated films, but most hardcore horror movies were off-limits, probably due to the likelihood of both nudity (in the movie) and nightmares (in my head). Therefore, the opportunity to rent whatever I wanted was one of the more exciting times of my young life. Even though this is how I discovered movies like THE SHINING and EVIL DEAD 2, a vast majority were terrible, and worst of all, most were devoid of gore and gratuitous nudity.

What am I going on about? Well, if instead of going to Blockbuster to rent a horror movie I instead was giving a couple hundred thousand dollars to make a movie, the result probably would have been very close to BLOOD FEAST 2: ALL U CAN EAT.

Directed by gore legend Herschell Gordon Lewis and written by the cast driver of BUG and WAITING (no, really, the driver), BF2 is a sequel thirty nine years in the making that was released thirty years after Gordon Lewis’ previous directorial effort. His prior films are unseen by me, and perhaps this is cause for a notch to be taken from my Horror Card, but if it is any consolation I now plan to check out more of his work, because BF2 is delirious fun.

SORORITY ROW Review. [Manicured Slasher Fun]

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Directed by Stewart Hendler, 2009
Written by Josh Stolberg & Pete Goldfinger

One could criticize SORORITY ROW for having mostly unlikeable characters, an aesthetic sense ripped from an American Eagle catalog and dialog lifted wholesale from a wall-to-wall conversation on a freshman’s Facebook page, but one shouldn’t.  Go see SORORITY ROW on opening weekend in a college town with a college crowd and you will be reminded with great velocity that the only fictional element of its screenplay is a hooded killer who slaughters the sisters of a sorority house.  Everything else about the culture of artificial people it so gleefully slays, vapid it and they may be, is ruefully realistic.  And though I’d have a hard time calling SORORITY ROW expert filmmaking with a straight face, seeing a swath of useless advertisements for trends get dispatched by a tire iron with knives on it is one of the more entertaining times I’ve had a theater this year.

SORORITY ROW is a throwback to a time (cough, the ’90s) when slasher films were absurd enough to be joked around with, but serious enough to only illicit laughs at all the right times.  There’s none of Rob Zombie’s fetishism for brooding characters and running-mascara set design.  There’s none of HATCHET’s nyuck-nyuck-schtick and over-the-top gore.  None of PROM NIGHT’s self-serious attempts to ignore the fact that it eats at the kiddie table.  No toleration for the current state of the genre’s fetish for tortuously prolonging the pain.  Nope, Stewart Hendler’s SORORITY ROW is exactly what it intends to be: an in-and-out 101 minutes of earned laughs punctuated by slick kills.

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