Horror News: The Weekly Offering

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Welcome, mortals, to The Weekly Offering. Here, we present our dark gifts in hopes that we please the Ancient Ones, that they might spare us. They are satisfied with our humble sacrifices of news, images, reviews, and commentary through the week, but on Fridays, they desire more. Their weekends, their unholy Sabbath, know no bounds. And so, to satisfy their bloodlust, as well as yours, we bring you these short, savory offerings.


Amy Adams May Be Heading for Some Dark Places

What is it about the redheads?

The ever-adorable and very talented Amy Adams is in talks to cross the threshold of horror, and star in the film adaptation of the acclaimed novel Dark Places by Gillian Flynn. The film adaptation was written by Gilles Paquet-Brenner, who is also directing. If confirmed, Adams will star as a woman named Libby Day, who witnessed the murder of her entire family when she was a child; days later testifying that her brother was the killer.

A quarter of a century later, a mysterious organization known as the Kill Club, who attempt to solve the worst of crimes, confronts her and forces her to face the truth.

In the eyes of the Ancient Ones, Adams is always a joy to behold, and to see her take on a darker role will hopefully be the start of something bloody beautiful.

Source: Deadline

NEAR DARK DVD Re-Issue Panders to TWILIGHT Crowd.

PSA: 3-D at Home, it Does not Work, Shelve Your Hopes.

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As I write this my retina still shake and resist me, my rods and cones curled fetal from trauma.

I lasted roughly thirty minutes with the MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D Blu-ray.  I say lasted in an attempt to invoke the act of endurance required by said experience.  MBV3D was unarguably my most anticipated retail title of 2009 thus far.  I’ve been awaiting this disc with the same level of want as that of RETURN TO HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL, which is to say with the same level of want as no one else on Earth.  I loved the film in theaters, surmising my enjoyment in the following review excerpt:

We all know what to expect and it sure as shit isn’t a layered labyrinth of deep characters coming face to face with their mortality and unimportance in a withering small town based an antiquated economy.  The only layers one should expect from MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D are of the geometric plane variety, the only labyrinth that of the mine shaft, and characters only deep enough to have a pick axe go in one side of their body and out the other.  Anything else is dressing as far as I’m concerned.

However, I knew not  what to expect from watching Patrick Lussier’s film in a home theater setting.  This ambiguity is what made MBV3D on Blu such a must-see, most-do on my list.  Like with RETURN TO HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL’S ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ gimmick, I wanted to see how well it had all been executed.

I’m a bit of a home theater enthusiast, which is to say I don’t fuck around when it comes to setting up my system.  Put it this way; moving the decimal places and carrying the 1 in my head, if I had saved all the money I put into our home theater I could have put an additional 15% down on the cost of the house in which it will soon sit.  This is ludicrous, I know, but I find justification in every person who comes over and says, “Man, this is better than going to the theater!”

Except when MBV3D is in the player.  The 3-D in-theater was great, the 3-D at home is of the dreadful red-blue variety.  I understand  this is the cheapest thing they could do, but it is intolerable to look at.  The picture loses all fidelity, smearing it in oppressive hues that one must make a concerted effort to look at.  Sure the third dimension is there and the perception of that works, but the method of delivering that gimmick is shit.  Watching MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D on Blu-ray is akin to trying to watch a movie after staring into the sun before getting donkey punched with an ugly green paint can.

Last Week in Horror News: April 12 to the 19th

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Theatrical Trailers and Clips

  • HALLOWEEN 2 – Clip from Entertainment Tonight.
  • CREEK – Lionsgate has yet to pin a release date for Joel Schumacher’s Nazi experiments flick once titled TOWN CREEK.

Studio News and Attachments

  • Fox Atomic Dies – Fox Atomic is, in all likelihood, getting folded back in to 20th Century Fox.  How this alters plans for JENNIFER’S BODY or the hypothetical 28 MONTHS LATER is unclear.
  • OFFSPRING – Ghost House Pictures picks up Jack Ketchum’s OFFSPRING, joins already acquired THE CHILDREN and SEVENTH MOON.
  • DRAG ME TO HELL – Looks like Ghost House opted to release the PG-13 variant.  Don’t blame ’em.
  • ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE – Has a US theatrical date of July 17th, which is 361 days after the film’s release on DVD and Blu-ray in the UK; oh, and those discs are only $8 and $15, respectively.  Despite having a region listing on the back, my Blu of MANDY LANE plays just fine in a PS3.  This wait is ridiculous.
  • THANKSGIVING – Eli Roth is currently pitching a deal to direct a more accessible disaster(ish) film for $80mil if the studio involved will also pay $5mil for a feature length do-up of the hit trailer.


  • MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D – Lionsgate has no plans for a sequel, but has 30 minutes of deleted scenes and an alternate ending ready for the disc due in May.
  • FRIDAY THE 13TH – Out on DVD and BRD June 16th.
  • EYES OF LAURA MARS – Chris Fischer, writer of S. DARKO tells fans at Weekend of Horrors that he has writing duties on the John Carpenter remake.

Indie, Foreign and Random News

  • HATCHET 2 – Adam Green says the sequel is happening likely next winter, but is unsure the extent of his involvement.
  • I, FRANKENSTEIN – Classic monsters in a neo-noir mystery produced by Ryan Rotten of Shock and Robert Sanchez of IESB.net.

Non-Theatrical Trailers and Clips

Last Week in Horror, July 27th to August 3rd

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Last Week in Horror was some kind of post-ComicCon orgy of news.  Either this was all left over from the con and took a week to rise to the top or PR folk knew their news wasn’t big enough to rock a convention and thus waited a week.  Whatever the case, I feel like this post took longer to gather than most.

Xingu Films announced AMERICAN REAPER, which is a sci-fi film whose concept I love.  John Carpenter got a non-horror directing gig, which is the best thing for him these days, if you ask me.  Which you did.  Some GHOSTBUSTERS rumors.  Two people who yet to impress me may muck up my beloved Alexandre Aja remake of PIRANHA.  Lionsgate is fielding all kinds of heat in the fallout of their guided MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN release debacle.

But most importantly.  THE THING!  Remade!  As a music video!

In fiscal defense of Lionsgate’s flinching.

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The PR folk at Lionsgate must be having a tough week.  First AICN makes it big that director Lexi Alexander has been booted off of PUNISHER: WAR ZONE, buried in an NDA and that the changes set in motion are less than ideal.  Then Scott Weinberg at Cinematical writes a plea to Lionsgate’s adressing their (mis)handling of DANCE OF THE DEAD.  And now Bloody-Disgusting has a war waged in its comments section regarding the news that MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN has not only been dumped in limited release, but is only being released in dollar theaters scattered with unicorn logic around the nation.

Now why are they doing all of this?  Lionsgate used to be the go to outfit for genre championship.  Now they’re dumping well received films with unprecedented disrespect.  What gives?  Shareholders give.

Lionsgate are, despite a few huge theatrical hits from time to time, apparently, not very good at business.  In 2007 LGF was like a drunk at a race track that picked all the winning horses (most of the time), but then blew all its earnings at the bar.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Lionsgate’s accountants are behind the eight ball with these recent decisions.  Their stock is up slightly for the year, but is still down nearly 13% from its high a year ago.  In FY08, LGF’s net income was -$70 million.  Not because their movies didn’t do well, but because the company made shitty investements along the way, operating at a -33% return on its equity.  Even I’m not that bad at the stock market. 

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