The Internet, many things it may be, is not stingy, so I suppose the rest of you can go ahead and watch this trailer for Park Chan-wook’s vampire film THIRST, but in truth this post is dedicated to Randy the Mountain Man.

Randy, who you may know/disagree with as the music reviewer around these parts, is in love with three things: Post-apocalyptic fiction, Metal, Vampires.  That’s it.  Not even his wife and child find a spot on that list (in my mind, at least).  But if there is one thing Randy hates even more than Lamb of God’s latest album, it’s got to be subtitles.

So listen here, Randy! You watch this trailer for THIRST right the fuck now and then you get over this leprous stigma you’ve given reading subtitles.  If Kang-ho Song as a throat punching vampiric priest doesn’t cure your weird affliction, I don’t know what will.

THIRST hits theaters in the US July 31st, opening in NY/LA and expanding forth after.