Directed by David Smith, 2005
Written by Phil O’Shea

If I’m going to keep watching such mediocre ninety-ish minutes of trapped time, I need to at least watch high concept mediocrity.  SPIRIT TRAP’s plot is as salient as a cobweb on a glass case of cobwebs nestled within a Cobweb Museum.  If that isn’t bad enough, performances and direction are as inspired as I imagine a Cobweb Museum curator would be.  And, yes, of course, watching SPIRIT TRAP is as fun as a tour of a Cobweb Museum would be.

I’m sorry this is here for you to read instead of a review of something better.  I wish I wasn’t writing it, as my writing is evidence that I sat through this uninspired British mess from beginning to end.  Such a confession is nothing to be proud of.  Alas, the moons, stars, planets, tides and winds align against my movie watching habits more often than I care to admit [Curse you, Comcast On-Demand!!!].  So, dear readers, share my disappointment, please.

The only draw towards SPIRIT TRAP is its lead actress, “DR. WHO” and “SECRET DIARY OF A CALL GIRL” veteran Billie Piper.  Actually, having typed those words, I’m not so sure why I even consider that a draw.  I have seen exactly one episode of “DR. WHO” and about three quarters of an episode of “SECRET DIARY”.  I don’t care about Mrs. Piper, I just recognized her name.  There goes the one positive thing I was going to say about this ill excuse for storytelling.