Posted by: Peter Hall
Looking into mirrors we tend to only see our flaws reflected back. Not me of course. I am a fucking Adonis, but I understand the effect self inspection has on normal people. How appropriate, then, that when we all look into MIRRORS we see nothing but flaws. Except this time they aren’t (y)our flaws, they’re Alexandre Aja’s. And I must confess, it is quite annoying to do nothing but stare at other people’s flaws for near two hours. At least the audience can walk outside and go jogging or drop and do a few push ups. No director’s cut is going to salvage this junior slump.
Which is a shame. Not just because I once called Aja the future of horror (yeah, yeah, we all say silly stuff when we’re young) and I need an out to cover that mistake. Despite all its misgivings, an easy 25+ minutes of bloated length, stale performances, despite all that, there are times one must remind themselves they are watching a movie about mirrors that kill people. I have a ton of suggestions for how such a premise could be improved, however, I posit this: Was anyone ever going to take a movie about killer mirrors seriously?
Even with any hypothetical improvements a goofy ass premise remains. It doesn’t help that Keifer Sutherland plays the lead with same frenetic fervor as his intrinsically tied USA saving, terrorist decimating alter personality. Hard enough as it is to take a movie about homicidal two dimensional planar objects earnestly. MIRRORS is done no favors by Jack Bauer running around with a gun screaming punchlines along the vein of, “Don’t look at the water! Water can form a reflective surface just like a mirror and that’s how they get you!”