I can’t help but think it has some subtext too, just going off of French stereotypes as a people obsessed with wine. I don’t know how regularly Rollin drank, but a strong case could be made that The Grapes of Death has a message about how drinking to excess transforms us into monsters. In a country where table wine is as ubiquitous as water, The Grapes of Death may have had more meaning and weight than its lurid monster movie approach would suggest. As an American, I can only guess at it, without providing any deeper thoughts than, “Huh. That’s interesting.”

The biggest weakness of the film is that it climaxes too early, when Elisabeth comes across a blind woman who is desperately searching for her husband amidst all the chaos. Actual tension is created, and Rollin pays it off with a horrific (though not 100% realistic) moment of gore that’s not typical of his work. It’s truly shocking, and from there to its conclusion, the film coasts to a resolution without ever ratcheting things back up. Rollin regular Brigitte Lahaie, a magnetic, statuesque blonde who’s always down for whatever Rollin throws at her, shows up in the last half to spice things up as a clear-cut antagonist to Elisabeth, but the film never fulfills the potential of its more interesting, more suspenseful first half.

Still, this one is more typical of what we expect from a horror film than Rollin’s usual more avant-garde tales. The plot is engaging and weird, and we care about Elisabeth’s survival. Not to mention, there’s more gross stuff here than erotic stuff (and Rollin is way more interested in the erotic stuff, judging from his body of work). This wouldn’t be a bad intro to Rollin, if you’re into euro-horror from this time period. It’s not as good overall as The Living Dead Girl (reviewed here), but it’s certainly more interesting than some of the other zombie films from this era. When Rollin makes films that aren’t for himself, playing to his own interests, things can get a little dicey. Even though The Grapes of Death is missing many of the director’s favorite motifs and themes, it still seems like he’s trying to deliver a worthwhile horror film (unlike Zombie Lake).

The title is new to Kino’s Redemption Euro-horror line and features their typical exemplary picture quality. These Blus are the best way to see Rollin’s work. He’s too often dismissed as trash, but when you watch these films on Blu-ray, you can see that at the very least, Rollin had an eye for beautiful compositions and amazing locales. Kino has included an introduction and interview with the late director in the special features of the disc, and there’s a 16-page booklet as well, by author and Rollin fan Tim Lucas.

I don’t know where horror fans got the idea that “you can’t go wrong with Nazi zombies.” In my estimation, there’s one decent one – 1977′s Shock Waves – and everything else is bunk. Case in point, the one-two punch of Zombie Lake and Oasis of the Zombies (aka Treasure of the Living Dead), staples of many a public domain DVD horror set, now brought to life in high-definition on Blu-ray by Kino. These are the best discs possible for a pair of clunkers that are of interest only to zombie aficionados and Jess Francophiles.

I’ve written about Jean Rollin quite a bit, and I am a fan, but I can’t forgive him the shoddiness of Zombie Lake. He directed it under a pseudonym (though kept his own name as an actor; he appears briefly as an investigator), and it doesn’t display any of his usual motifs. Hell, it’s not even shot well; even his weakest efforts always look nice. Rollin is actually given a decent hook by screenwriter Jess Franco – the waters of a cursed lake revive a half-dozen Nazis whose bodies were unceremoniously dumped there by French freedom fighters defending their small town. One of the Nazis had fathered a child with a woman in the town, before he was killed by the townsfolk, and there’s a subplot about his relationship with his daughter that flirts with being uncomfortably sympathetic to undead Nazis in general.

Positives? Copious, unflinching female nudity. Negatives? Everything else. The zombie make-up is slap-dash green foundation, and the gore is limited to cherry-syrup kisses on the necks of the zombies’ victims. Rollin clearly doesn’t give a damn, and his lack of interest creates an uninteresting film. I clearly saw several actors play different bit parts by switching out cheap wigs, and there’s no effort to disguise the numerous underwater scenes as anything other than a swimming pool. Sometimes cheap junk can be forgiven when it’s underlined with enthusiasm, but Zombie Lake is boring because it’s bored. It can’t muster the effort to be anything more than its logline – zombie Nazis come out of a lake, the end.

Better by a hair is Franco’s own Oasis of the Zombies, which skirts some of the atmosphere that Zombie Lake is missing (without ever actually being good). Franco’s film is about Nazi zombies protecting a stash of treasure in the desert. A lot of the film is made up of extended, confusing flashbacks intercut with inexplicable WWII stock footage, but it’s not as if Franco doesn’t care – it’s that he doesn’t have the money (or the skill, arguably) to bring the ideas in Oasis of the Zombies to life. It’s a dry, snooze-inducing affair that comes to life occasionally when Franco’s oatmeal-faced young Nazi zombies stand around looking at their prey. Nothing much happens, but you anticipate something happening, which is more than you can say of Zombie Lake, which disappoints earlier and more often.

Between the two discs, Oasis of the Zombies is the winner in the looks department. Despite the beat-up stock pieces, it looks really pretty on Blu, certainly better than a film of this calibre warrants. The disc is without features to speak of (rare for a Kino Redemption release), but if you needed an archival version of Oasis, well, here it is. Zombie Lake certainly fares better than the versions found in those “50 Horror Movies in one DVD box set” collections, but just doesn’t have the visual flair of Oasis (comparatively speaking, of course). Lake comes with an alternate opening, and both films can be enjoyed in their original French with subtitles or dubbed with bad English. Special note must be made of Kino’s packaging, which finally fills in the gaps (#20 and #21) in the numbered spines of the Redemption Eurohorror line, while sporting hilariously misleading modern cover art with zombies more inspired by KNB than the ones featured in these films. But, hey, if it sells because of the scary art, that just means more in Kino’s line of horror’s least likely Blu-rays.

I assume that anyone reading a White Zombie Blu-ray review in 2013 is asking themselves one question, whether they’ve seen the film or not, “is White Zombie worth owning on Blu-ray?” The scrappy film has survived the ages through public domain proliferation and for providing the name for the band that made Rob Zombie famous. It has almost never looked or sounded good in the years since its release, so the job falls to Kino Classics to make White Zombie a relevant purchase when you could just as easily nab a crappy DVD version for a few bucks or stream it on YouTube for free.

Well, of course Kino Classics has made this something worth owning, because they’re Kino and they take pride in their restorations. This is the best version of White Zombie that money can buy. That said, it’s not a flawless experience. It doesn’t come close to the jaw-dropping transfers on the Universal Monsters Blu-ray collection, but White Zombie has never had a studio looking after it with care like the Universal Monsters have. The Zombie transfer is very obviously digitally smoothed-out, a tad smudgy for lack of a better descriptor, but at least it’s clean and the black and white contrast is nice. There’s an untouched version on the Blu as well for purists who recoil against too-visible DNR. The audio hisses like a cat from beginning to end, so I don’t envy the guys who had to try to clean that mess up. It’s serviceable; I mean, I could hear it.

For the uninitiated, White Zombie is the first zombie movie ever made – a dark, melodramatic tale of lovers brought low by the voodoo powers of Bela Lugosi’s manipulative Murder Legendre. Legendre uses his abilities to create zombie plantation workers for Charles Beaumont, a man hosting visiting newlyweds, Neil and Madeleine, in the Haitian city of Port-au-Prince. Beaumont wants Madeleine as his own and is even willing to have her as an undead slave, something Legendre can certainly provide for him. This doesn’t come without a price, of course, and the more Beaumont considers the horror of what he’s done, the more Legendre is able to psychologically lord control over him (and Madeleine).

Lugosi is sublime as Legendre, and if you’re a fan of the look of Universal’s films, then there’s a lot to love in White Zombie. Images of googly-eyed shuffling zombies, run-down coastal castles, and ornate interior sets make White Zombie look like one of that studio’s best on the surface (and it was shot on the Universal lot, so that may very well be why it looks like a classic). Beyond the visuals and Lugosi, the film is only a minor success, with a wimpy “love conquers all” resolution that you can see coming from the very moment Madeleine is cursed. I think the best thing about the film is the complicated relationship between Legendre and Beaumont; both obvious villains, but one more Satanic and one more susceptible to human emotions, and I wish there was more of it than what the film provides.

Special features include a feature-length commentary by historian Frank Thompson, and a charming staged interview with Lugosi. This odd little curio is basically a scripted short film in which the interviewer and Lugosi are forced to behave as if they’re being candid, from an obvious script. It’s pretty dumb, but I smiled through the whole thing, and if you’re a Lugosi fan, it almost justifies the price of the whole Blu.

Overall Rating: B-

A great horror film doesn’t have to have flowing blood and the splatter of guts, but it certainly helps. The twisted minds of screenwriters and directors have brought some memorable moments of bloodshed to the screen for our retinal pleasures. Sometimes, they carnage is spread over the entire film, and sometimes, in one glorious fountain of red. Sometimes, the body count is high. Sometimes, it’s just the horrifying manner in which our victims meet their demise. And so, I bring you my Top 10 Horror Film Bloodbaths.

10.) Saw

Saw may not have had the most surprising ending in the history of horror (or the greatest sequels), but the original traps are some of the most primitive and shudder-inducing death scenes I have ever seen. One of the reasons that the sequels were so terrible is that they tried to go bigger. What made the traps in the original so excruciating was that anyone could build them, thereby making it all the more uncomfortable when we placed ourselves inside of them.

9.) Hostel

When it comes to bloodbaths, Hostel proves that variety is the spice of life. Pay your fee, choose your plaything. The brief moment during our protagonist’s escape in which we see shots of multiple people being tortured to death is just long enough to be sickening and make you want to spill a little bad guy blood of your own. Also, blow torch plus eyeball equals . . . yeeeeesh . . .

8.) Land of the Dead

An electric fence seems like a great method of protection from the zombies that roam the land. Unless, of course, those zombies find another way inside. Now, that very same protection has you trapped. While we never see the initial attack, the image of hundreds of zombies slowly, but viciously, devouring hundreds of screaming humans is enough to beg for those rockets to come much faster.

7.) Event Horizon

Behold my guilty horror pleasure. Although the dialogue is lacking, and the story falls apart slightly, I still unashamedly love this film. The deaths of the primary plot are bloody fantastic in and of themselves, but I give special attention to the computer log.  The sounds and imagery presented in this garbled computer recording are absolutely terrifying. Much is hidden from view, but we see all we need to. Self-mutilation, rape, laceration, and torture. What did the crew of the Event Horizon see on the other side of space? I never want to know.

6.) The Descent

This may be one of the few films to feature a literal bloodbath which also serves as one of the deepest metaphors in this smarter-than-it-appears horror flick. In addition to all the uncomfortable, claustrophobic slaying of the female spelunkers, we get to see our protagonist fall into and emerge reborn from a massive pool of blood. This transformation turns her into something halfway between a human trying to survive, and the monsters that call the darkness their home.

5.) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

It could be the grainy footage, or the documentary-style shooting, but something about this film feels disturbingly real. Leatherface treats his victims like literal pieces of meat. When they run away, it’s like a chicken escaping the coop. When he can’t get around to butchering the meat, he places it on a meat hook. I mean, that’s what its there for, right? It’s all just work, but it must be known that Leatherface is a man who enjoys his work.

The chainsaw is a relatively recent invention, but there is something primal in our fear of it. It’s use makes us cringe. This tool turned weapon, and the manner of its use make The Texas Chainsaw Massacre a blood bath from which even the survivors may never recover.

4.) Martyrs

When the French make a horror movie, they do not mess around. Martyrs is a slow-building, tension-driven horror drama, but the very beginning and the very end contain some of the most shocking acts of violence I’ve ever seen on screen. From the brutal shotgun murder of an entire family, to victims driven mad by extended, almost casual, torture, to an innocent girl being skinned alive . . . and surviving. Martyrs will not break any body count records, but it will test your gut and your nerve.

3.) Inside

The French continue their assault on your psyche with Inside, a film about a intruder trying to steal a woman’s baby . . . while it is still inside of her. Inside has some of the most gruesome and difficult-to-watch scenes I have ever seen in a film of any genre. It succeeds in making we, the audience, feel the pain of the victims. Probably because the weapon of choice is such a common household item. We’ve always been told as kids to never run with scissors. This film will show you other things that should never be done with them.

2.) Piranha 3D

The filming logistics alone involved in the boat party massacre sequence are worthy of absolute praise. The coordination involved with so many extras, large moving watercraft, and some of the most graphic, bloody, and detailed make-up effects I have ever seen. This movie made dismemberment and skeletonization almost too difficult to watch. And yet, I could not look away.

In a similar manner to Hostel, the film spent the first two thirds making us hate these irritating spring breakers. But when the slaughter begins, the panic sets in, and the lake runs red with the blood of hundreds of people, you can’t help but feel that sense of dread. It makes you want to bring your feet off the floor and up onto your couch, lest the carpet piranhas find you to be a meaty snack.

1.) The Cabin in the Woods

System purge. Enough said.

Let’s go and just start from the beginning. How did you get into the scaring business?

Jon Love: Well, the business itself, House of Torment, was started by Daniel McCullough, and he’s actually the president of our company. He lived in a neighborhood in south Austin and there wasn’t a whole lot going on there for Halloween, and he was a big fan of Halloween, and he was also a super-creative guy. His work background is in construction. So, he decided to build a haunted house to encourage trick-or-treating. It was a really good home haunted house, and he did it for several years. And year after year after year, just more and more people came. And one day, he was coming home from church, and there was like just this crazy line of people waiting to get in to his haunted house. And it had turned into this big deal and the cops had to come and help direct traffic. And it was, whoa! This is too much just to have happen at his house. So, in order to continue to do what he had grown to love doing, he had to do it commercially. And he made the jump from amateur home haunted house guy to a professional, commercial haunted house producer in 2003. And that’s when House of Torment opened. It opened in North Cross Mall on a shoestring budget.

And that’s when I met Dan. My background was in event management and event marketing. I’d done some bookings and some DJ stuff and some band stuff before I’d gone to college. In college, a buddy of mine actually worked for Dan at the House of Torment as one of the scene actors, scaring people. And he convinced me to go. I was timid and apprehensive cause I really hadn’t gone to a haunted house and I thought they were for little kids. But when I went, I was blown away. It was really cool! And the entrepreneurial event, marketing, and management side of me was really intrigued at the idea and concept of a haunted house business. And so, the next year I helped Dan from the beginning. Our sales grew, and we continued to grow and grow and grow the business. And then it just kinda ballooned into the business that it is today.

Now, one of the things I’ve noticed about your guys’ house above every other house I’ve been to is that you put a lot of focus on story. You have these big, complex stories, some that take place over several years. How important is story to you guys and how do you go about creating that kind of story?

Love: I think it’s important to us because everything starts with inspiration. This is a very creative business to be a part of, and we have a creative process that we go through. So, we go out and we get inspired by different things we encounter in popular culture in our day-to-day lives. And a story kind of comes out of that. So I think it’s very important because it kind of serves as a thematic basis for what we do. Whether or not our guests care about the story, I think most people come here to have a fun time and celebrate Halloween and get scared. So, I would say 10-15% of the people actually come here to experience the story, but it certainly provides us a creative jumping off point, and that’s why there’s an emphasis on it.

Have you guys ever had a story idea or concept that you almost thought was too scary and you decided to leave it out or save it for another year?

Love: No, “too scary” is a good thing. (Laughs) We always try to out-do ourselves. So, “too scary” is almost always what we’re aiming for. That being said, I think there’s a difference between scary, and offensive and controversial. We feel like we need to walk that tight rope and our job is to provide a scary, yet thrilling and entertaining, experience. I don’t believe we need to provide a controversial or offensive experience.

That being said, the story, it kind of evolves over time and the evolution of the story isn’t just from the story arc and the characters themselves. It also has to do with actually what are we doing on the ground? What are we producing inside of the show? And I think those two things need to be cohesive, because you can’t tell a story and have visual imagery over here and not fulfill and deliver those things over in the attraction itself. So, sometimes what happens is the attraction is dictated by the theme and the evolution of the story. And sometimes the evolution of the story is dictated by what we’re actually doing in the attraction. But the goal between those two things is to have them meet and be aligned.

 And a perfect segway, if there ever was one. Another thing that you guys seem to do really well is atmosphere; environment. What kind of atmosphere do you like to create? What are the elements you look for when creating the atmosphere of Torment?

Love: That’s a tricky question, cause again it kinda goes back to the diversity of differences in our guests. It’s always funny to stand at the back door and people come out, and they’re like, “Oh, my god! That was so awesome! It’s the best haunted house ever! It’s so cool!”

So we ask, “Alright! Great, yeah! What was your favorite part?”

“I don’t know! My eyes were closed the whole time! I didn’t see anything!”

And it’s like, seriously? You didn’t see anything? I put all this energy and effort into like the environment and the sets and detail. But sometimes the thing that scares people most is darkness and pitch-blackness. And people will keep their eyes closed the whole time. Then again, there’s another group of our customers that come here and demand and expect the story, and they look for the details; seek out the Easter eggs. And they are offended and upset if we don’t deliver, if we don’t fire on those cylinders as well.

So to answer your question, I think with our customers there’s a balance. But for us, we want to make sure that the haunted house is as detailed and dynamic, and that atmosphere is created even when the lights are on. And that is, I guess amplified when the overhead lights are off and the set lighting is on. And the fog fills up the sets and we add, of course, the final and maybe most important layer of the performers and actors themselves. So, it’s really important to us to do that, and it’s really important to a certain group of our customers. But then again, there’s this group of people out there, and they’d be happy walking down a black hallway.

I will say this about the actors: they’re pretty intense, physically and verbally. What do you look for when you guys hire an actor or an actress?

Love: Most of all, people that can take direction. They don’t necessarily need to have formal acting experience. They just need to be able to listen to instruction. They need to have a good head on their shoulders and be able to make good judgment calls. And as long as we feel they can take direction, we can give them the direction they need.

It’s a plus if you are in shape because working at a haunted house is literally like doing a cardiovascular exercise for two to four hours depending on the night and how busy it is. So, as long as you can take direction and you have an open mind and a good attitude, we can teach you the rest. We run into challenges when people don’t listen or don’t take our advice or don’t eat healthy nutritious snacks and hydrate enough.

We do our best to provide as much training and on-going coaching as we can. It’s almost like running a sports team. Everybody needs to be physically conditioned. Everybody needs to put the right fuel inside of their body, because input equals output. And if you can do that, I think as a performer you can put on an elongated and intense performance.

Now, tell me a little about like the unsung heroes of Torment. The people behind the scenes. Carpenters and electricians. How many people do you have setting up that sort of thing?

Love: That’s an excellent question. It’s kinda crazy, cause our business is like an accordian. Seasonally, there’s all these employees and all these people here. And then come November, it’s back down to our full-time, year round staff. Depending on the projects for the year, we’ll have two to six full-time, year round employees. Right now, we currently have a metal fabricator and welder, a carpenter and scenic artist that specializes in carving and hard-coating and set-dressing. We have people that sketch our designs. And then there’s, of course, myself and Dan to kinda drive that process.

What do you think is the most difficult and, at the same time, most satisfying type of person to scare who comes into the House?

Love: You’re asking really good questions. I think that going to a haunted house is a group activity. And within the group, there are different individual dynamics and personalities, but they’re kinda universal. There’s always the guy that’s like, “Hey, let’s all get together and go to a haunted house.” There’s a group leader. And then there’s the sacrificial lamb like, “Scare this guy!” or “Scare her!” and then they throw her out there and everybody wants to see the monsters chase that person through the parking lot and through the haunted house. And then, there’s always like the nay-sayer, like, “Man, this ain’t gonna be scary!” And that’s the guy I think is the most challenging to scare, but also the most gratifying to scare.

I can’t tell you how many times you get the nay-sayer or the skeptic or big guy that comes in and they kinda bow up and act tough. Maybe they’re with their girlfriend and halfway through the haunted house, they’re like, “OH! AHH!” and they throw their girlfriend in front of them and run off in the other direction. And you laugh at them because we have cameras everywhere and we watch everything that happens inside the haunted house.

Do you have a particular scare that stands out? Like the funniest one you’ve ever seen?

Love: I would have to say one of the funniest things we consistently do is probably our bush costume. We have a really big planter and this costume. And it’s literally black spandex and it has a bunch of artificial foliage everywhere. And so if you’re in the planter and you kind of crouch down into a ball, you literally look like a shrub. You look like part of the landscape. And on busier nights, we have someone in the bush costume at the exits of the haunted house. And it’s really funny cause as people exit the haunted house, they’re kinda decompressing and they walk by this bush. And this bush like comes to life, and they’re like, “Oh, my god!” and they run. But it’s hilarious because it’s unexpected and it’s like, “You got scared by a bush? Like really?” (Laughs)

It’s really funny, and after people exit they all line up and they get their cell phones out and they videotape everybody else exiting. And we eventually get this really big crowd of people standing at the exits just videotaping. And we get these guests that walk out and they’re like, “Oh, my god! That was—” and they’re looking at all these people videotaping them and this giant bush they didn’t know was there comes to life and scares them! And everybody claps.

Very cool, very cool. Now, I understand this is your guys’ last year at Highland Mall. What are your plans for next year?

Love: Plans for next year are up in the air right now. There are a handful of locations we’re looking at and we’re at the table, but we don’t have a deal down in writing per se. So, until that happens, we’re not necessarily going to announce everything. We’re going to continue to produce the House of Torment. It will be in Austin. But right now, what we’re doing next year, we’re just kinda in limbo.

Well, sounds good. A mystery is always good.

Love: Yeah, a mystery is always good.

Be sure to check out House of Torment at their website right here. And don’t forget, there is still time to visit them. If you think you’re brave enough . . .

1. Mikey (1992)

Little Mikey is a troubled kid. So much so that he keeps killing off his adoptive parents. I’m a huge sucker for killer kid movies and this one came up on my radar thanks to Horror Movie Night (which our own Brian Kelly runs and Damon Swindall covers). The film itself was banned in the UK, although not as a “video nasty,” due to its featuring a murderous child, and the paranoid notion that kids could learn from this. Whatever the case, the movie is dark and effective, and the titular character played by Brian Bonsall does a bang up job of being a little creep.

2. Possession (1981)

I’m not sure how I heard about this, but it should be much more lauded than it is. It feels very much like a Cronenbergian nightmare and features stand out performances from the always excellent Sam Neill and his co-star Isabelle Adjani. A young wife grows increasingly restless and distant from her husband and leaves him. After sending out an investigator to find out what is going on, it’s learned she’s involved in something much worse than an affair. And it’s completely mind-bendingly weird! You will never view milk the same way again. I’m not going to spoil the ending but what I love is how effectively Possession builds its drama and how much of it is focused on the characterization and performances before it gut punches you into a bizarre black hole.

3. The Sentinel (1977)

A movie like this couldn’t even be made these days. Check out this list of actors in the movie and if this alone isn’t a prompt to see it right away, your taste has to be questioned: Chris Sarandon, John Carradine, Jose Ferrer, Ava Gardner, Burgess Meredith, Eli Wallach, Christopher Walken, Jerry Orbach, Beverly D’Angelo and Tom Berenger. The Sentinel tells the story of a fashion model, played by the so stunning Christina Raines, who gets her own apartment in New York and then discovers that the apartment is full of scary occurrences that eventually build to a climatic, insane ending. This is another slow burn of a movie, but one that’s so effective and the payoff is so great that I instantly considered it a lost gem in my viewing list.
Watch it on Netflix!

4. Absentia (2011)

A movie I had picked up randomly off Netflix Instant Watch and then as soon as it was done made sure to recommend to friends. Absentia takes its low budget and creates a very eerie atmosphere and delves into a balls-out crazy horror story. It features all no name actors and through a very effective sound design and corner of the eye scares, makes for an uncomfortable and enjoyable watch. It tells the story of a woman who has lost her husband when he went out for a run one day, and now when she’s about to declare him dead learns the tunnel near her home may house something more sinister. Courtney Bell, who plays the lead, was actually pregnant through the shoot and puts forth a very convincing and terrific performance. I can only imagine what Mike Flanagan, the director, will come up with next, but I can’t wait to see it.
Watch it on Netflix

5. Dead Dudes in the House (1989)

I’m not going to claim that I found this to be a lost classic by any means. In fact, there really is nothing  contained within Dead Dudes in the House that hasn’t been seen before, but what I really loved about it was the absurdity of how everything plays out. When watched to enjoy more for it’s lost comedic genius, I think it’s quite a winner. A bunch of jocks, who can’t seem to open any doors or windows for the life of them, go to help a friend fix up an old house they discover something sinister, the previous owner’s ghost! Okay, yeah, it sounds awful and many will find it so (and many will be turned off by it being a Troma release), but when watched at Horror Movie Night we had a blast laughing along with it. Even more ridiculous than the movie itself is the cover art which has absolutely nothing to do with the movie.

6. Twisted Nerve (1968)

One of the craziest things about Twisted Nerve is that it stars Haley Mills who is well known for being a darling of early Disney family movies. In Twisted Nerve she plays a lovable young woman who takes pity on a young man whose family is dysfunctional to say the least. Her kindness is rewarded with him pretending to be mentally disabled so he can get close to her. A strange, off kilter film that at times is a bit disjointed but overall is well worth the time to watch.

The Halloween season is upon us. You can feel it in the air like a dark, heavy mist, carrying the creatures of your nightmares into reality for one entire month. What a shame that it only lasts one month.

Now is the time when every shadow holds a secret, every bed hides a monster, and every house is haunted. With that, we bring you House Haunting, a new feature where we review haunted houses for your benefit, that you may get the most fear for your buck.

All houses will be rated on our SCREAM Scale:

S-Story

C-Cleverness

R-Relevance

E-Environment

A-Atmosphere

M-Malice

Our first house this season is the House of Torment, located in Austin, Texas. House of Torment has been open for ten years, and is currently finishing its final year at Highland Mall, in preparation for a new location next year. However, they intend to go out with a bloody bang. There are three attractions this year: The Awakening, Cursed: The Howling, and The Slaughterhouse.

Story

Story is one of the most overlooked aspects of the horror genre, most particularly in haunted houses. Who needs a story when you’re in the middle of it, right? Wrong. A story allows you to be immersed in the house. You know what the stakes are, you know who these creatures are, and you know why you are fighting to survive.

House of Torment has done something impressive by not only creating an intriguing story, but also one that has spread across the past several years. The Awakening picks up years after a devastating apocalyptic plague has ravaged the planet, giving an evil alien army the opportunity to conquer what remains. Yet, the hordes of monsters have proven too much for Commander Nemesis and his army, leading him to one final, and desperate, war crime.

The horror continues as you make your way into an ancient Temple. We learn that the cataclysmic events are tied to the Mayan prophecy of the end of the 13^th b’ak’tun. This evil place may hold the answers that we seek, but be warned. Macabre rituals of blood have awakened the dead pirates of old, who battle the dark wolves for control of these thick, jungle lands.

If you have survived, you will be corralled into The Slaughterhouse. With the remains of the human species facing annihilation from the monsters of the undead and the alien armies of Nemesis, there are those who will do anything to survive. The armies of Nemesis crave the flesh of humans, and one family in the outskirts of what was once Austin, Texas are more than willing to provide.

Cleverness

House of Torment is an attraction that is not afraid to push the extremes, blend genres, or terrify its audience at any cost. It is this desire to try new things that sets Torment apart from other haunted attractions. As a patron of the dark arts, I have seen many haunted houses. Many of these houses are good, but feel a need to play it safe. From a business standpoint, this is a sound decision.

But, I would hazard that what keeps the crowds coming is Torment’s desire to be different. You will be hard pressed to find any haunted house (or horror film, book, or comic) that isn’t afraid to try something that others might shy away from. And as faithful readers will know by now, I am always going to run towards what is new and different, and away from what is old and familiar.

Relevance

You will not find many recognizable horror creatures or motifs at House of Torment. Not on the surface, anyway. However, you may recognize some of the inspiration. The Slaughterhouse is quite reminiscent of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and other such slasher films. Torment is also playing quite creatively on the fear and (illogical?) paranoia brought upon by the Mayan apocalypse of 2012. But it was the realization that my group made while waiting in line for the second house that sticks out most in my mind.

I cannot say that I was the one who came up with this analogy. Rather, it was a collaborative effort of others in the group. The plot of The Awakening centers around an alien invasion, and human survivors fighting both this interstellar army and the monsters that walk the Earth. It seems oddly reminiscent of Plan 9 From Outer Space. You know, if Plan 9 had been scary and actually good. This harkens back the the cleverness of Torment, and its desire to take what is different, and twist around the necks of our subconscious.

Environment

Having been to House of Torment for three years in a row, I have to say that one of the best aspects is its ingenious environment. The pathway will take you up stairs, through buildings, city streets, and into a room tilted at an extreme angle. House of Torment has been housed in the same building for several years, but sometimes it is hard to know that.

While you will see some familiar sights, such as the twelve-foot tall monsters and maybe a familiar set or two, the path will never be the same. I don’t know the inner workings of the construction of the house, but it is very obvious that the creators have the ability to shift walls and paths, never having the same track more than one season. This led to the feeling of never knowing when the house was going to end. Every corner seems like it is going to be your next escape, but don’t be so sure.

Special mention has to be made in regards to The Slaughterhouse. This year’s final house stands independent from the main building. It is a wooden structure, and appears relatively small. The sounds of screams and chainsaws roar from within. My group was already high on adrenaline from the first two houses, and while we were looking forward to this small, third installment, we were expecting a simple walk through a makeshift corral.

We couldn’t have been more wrong.

I won’t give away too much, but suffice it to say, The Slaughterhouse is much, much bigger than it looks, and the monsters . . . well, let’s just say that this is the first time my group became separated for a length of time. In this maze, you will feel like cattle. You will feel helpless, and you will feel like nothing more than food for the horrors waiting at the end.

Atmosphere

Hand-in-hand with environment is the atmosphere a haunted house creates. How does this place make you feel? House of Torment is dark, but you can still see just enough to wish it was darker. Fog and mist roll through the city streets. You can feel a presence all around you.

Torment creates a sense of being lost, and a sense of hopelessness. You know that there is a war being waged; a war for the survival of humanity. But every time you see a SWAT officer turned into a murderous zombie, or a monster bigger than a house reach for you as though you were a tasty snack, you realize that this war has already been won. We are not the victors, but we most certainly are the spoils.

Malice

The entrances may be filled with safety warnings, and you may constantly remind yourself that none of this is real, but the monsters will never let you believe that for a second. It starts on Twitter, with replies and retweets promising threats of violence. While you wait in line, monsters roam the corrals, taking pictures with the brave, and chasing the cowardly. After giving you a quick safety briefing, the crew alerts the monsters to your presence with the call of “fresh meat!”

Once inside, you will be surrounded. While these monsters will not intentionally touch you, they will get very, very close. They will jump out at you, run towards you, grab at you, and stand in your path, waiting to see if you have the nerve to walk around them. And that’s only after they let themselves be seen. Often, you won’t even know your sharing the same air as a monster until it’s breathing down your neck.

House of Torment employs some of the best actors I have seen in a haunted house. They are physically fit, always stay in character, and never seem quite human. A nod has to be given to the makeup artists in this last aspect. Even though you’ll spend most of your time in the dark, Torment does not skimp on the details. Once your eyes adjust, you’ll be able to see that Torment does not use the dark as an excuse for poor creature design. This total commitment to the craft is truly what sets House of Torment apart from all the others.

Be sure to check out House of Torment at their website here. Mighty Cthulhu demands that you attend.

Hello Horrophiles,

Horror’s Not Dead and Warner Brothers are teaming up to bring you a fiendishly fun prize pack just in time for Halloween. We’re giving away not one, not two, but four horror Blu-rays. First, Tim Burton’s film adaptation of the 1960s TV series Dark Shadows starring Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Eva Green. If that’s not enough, we also have the extreme-tourism-gone-wrong-horror-film Chernobyl Diaries. Still not enough? Damn, you’re greedy. Ok then, we also have Blu-rays of two of the early films based on the Dark Shadows series: House of Dark Shadows and Night of Dark Shadows.

That should be plenty to keep your Halloween season filled to the brim with creeps ans shrieks. So how do you win? Simple!

In the comment section below, we want you to create a new trick-or-treat candy based on your favorite monster, slasher, or psycho. What would it be called? What candy components would make up this sinister snack? The best creation will will. You have until 10/30.

Get crackin’ boys and ghouls!