All posts in the 'D' category
January 21st, 2010
Directed by Scott Stewart, 2010
Written by Peter Schink, Scott Stewart
Joining the ranks of Night of the Living Dead, Assault on Precinct 13, Demon Knight, From Dusk Till Dawn, Feast, Maximum Overdrive, and a host of other “siege” horror films, comes Legion, an unrepentantly dopey fantasy-action-horror hybrid built upon the idea that God hates us all. [...]
November 24th, 2009
Written and Directed by Uwe Boll
Without question RAMPAGE is the best film Dr. Uwe Boll has ever made. However, and this is an elephantine however, that statement still needs qualification. RAMPAGE is fascinating for both its successes and its failures, but ultimately the movie is still a failure; albeit the best failure Uwe Boll has [...]
August 26th, 2009
Written and Directed by Paul Solet, 2009
Opening with other people’s opinions is not something I do often, but it should be said that enough people love GRACE that I am aware of my place in the minority camp. But if you trust my opinion on horror, you’ll temper expectations drastically. Paul Solet’s feature film debut [...]
June 4th, 2009
Directed by Fred Olen Ray, 2009
Written by Mark Sanderson
I am a man of refined tastes possessing a palette more exacting than a green lazer straight from Laser Cove, but, alas, I am still just a man. Soft bits wrapped around hard bits with chemistry connecting it all. Who am I to resist a pitch as [...]
May 26th, 2009
Lux Pain
Developed by Killaware
Published by Ignition Entertainment
Lux Pain is one of those games with a hollowed out and rotten trunk that has some fairly interesting aspects branch off. Unfortunately, it’s not bugs and execution that bog Lux Pain down; it is the simple fact that Lux should have not been a game; it should have [...]
October 26th, 2008
Directed by David Hackl, 2008
Written by Patrick Melton & Marcus Dunstan
Due to an obscene obligation to see every horror movie that comes out theatrically within the first week of release, SAW V has the honor of being the first of the SAW films I’ve seen in theater.
Due to the obscene awfulness of SAW V, it [...]
October 1st, 2008
Directed by David Smith, 2005
Written by Phil O’Shea
If I’m going to keep watching such mediocre ninety-ish minutes of trapped time, I need to at least watch high concept mediocrity. SPIRIT TRAP’s plot is as salient as a cobweb on a glass case of cobwebs nestled within a Cobweb Museum. If that isn’t bad enough, performances [...]
July 21st, 2008
Directed by Gregory Hoblit, 2008
Written by Robert Fyvolent, Mark Brinker, Allison Burnett
UNTRACEABLE is 4th rate direction scattered with 2nd rate actors giving 3rd rate performances of a 5th rate script. But until BRAINSCAN comes in from Netflix, I suppose it will suffice as something to review.
A horror movie in the most watered down, procedural sense, [...]
June 8th, 2008
Directed by Breck Eisner, 2008
Written by Mick Garris from a Del Howison short story
I am all about serialized, non-contiguous horror. I dig standalone storytelling and the familiar face bit casting, so I feel the ageless form always has a place on television. If we are judging from a first episode basis, however, that [...]
May 21st, 2008
I normally do not introduce Sayer’s reviews, but I must say that I recommend reading this one in full. It is long; like Dirk Diggler long, but much so worth it. And for that reason I am publishing it earlier than his other reviews. That and I’ll be vacationing in Austin this [...]
April 24th, 2008
Directed by Danny Pang, Oxide Pang Chun, 2007
Written by Mark Wheaton, Todd Farmer
Several months ago I woke up in the middle of the night with an inexplicable (read: alcohol) sickness in my stomach that begged my digestive track to be free of its gastric prison. I awoke in that all too familiar breed of [...]
March 23rd, 2008
Directed by Declan O’Brien, 2008Written by Berkeley Anderson, Ron Fernandez
I’ll never forget a quiz from a geology lesson in a sixth grade science class. One question stands out to this day; "What is the difference between a rock and a mineral?" Faced with such a diabolical question, the girl to my left – I’ve forgotten [...]
March 16th, 2008
Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2008Written by Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan
I am writing this review on my cellphone*. Why? Well, because my computer is upstairs and I am downstairs, but I also find no evidence to believe the screenwriters of SAW IV used a real word processor, either, so it seems an appropriate fit. For [...]
July 15th, 2007
Written and Directed by Jonathan King, 2006
Genetically engineered sheep, released inadvertently by activists, not only overrun a small Kiwi town, but any human bitten turns into some insane kind of weresheep? Self-aware limits with a no-shame script? Early Peter Jackson aspirations with a contemporary, Oscar winning P. Jackson’s WETA workshop doing the makeup effects? All [...]
February 18th, 2007
Directed by Jim Sonzero, 2006Written by Wes Craven, Ray Wright, Kiyoshi Kurosawa (Original film)
Pulse is dark.
No, not morbid, but literally dark. As in you can’t see a damned thing. I mention this because it is the only thing you will remember about the movie. How damned ugly it looks and how processings its 24 [...]
July 3rd, 2006
Directed by James Wong, 2006
Every now and then you have to love a franchise. The Final Destination series is certainly no Nightmare on Elm Street, but it is the only original horror franchise since the early ’90s. The first film has already hit the back burner of praise for its generation, but I’d venture to [...]
June 29th, 2006
Directed by Douglas Cheek, 1984
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. That is all you need to know about the letters C.H.U.D. to know what kind of movie it is.
I understand some things age better than others. Cheese can age well. Milk cannot. Night of the Comet aged well. C.H.U.D. did not.
The U.S. government has been forced to [...]
June 24th, 2006
Directed by Robert Hiltzik, 1983
I love the kids-stalked-at-summer-camp plot. Maybe it’s because I spent several weeks of summer when I was younger at Camp Lakewood, a camp not too different from any of these cinematic cliches. Or maybe I just like cabins. Either way, my affinity for all that jazz wasn’t enough to save Sleepaway [...]
March 18th, 2006
Directed by Timur Bekmambetov, 2005
In Soviet Russia, movie hates you!
In the interest of full disclosure, one should know my history with this film’s predecessor. When I first saw Night Watch over a year and a half ago, I thought it was one of the most insane fantasy films I’d ever seen. I watched [...]
March 16th, 2006
Directed by Byeong-ki Ahn, 2002. Review originally written 3-30-05
I’ll make this brief because I wasn’t very impressed with it. I’m a huge fan of the Asian ghost film. These days they’re the only thing being produced that does actually scare me. It’s a mixture of the over use of negative space, harsh contrasts and [...]
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