Directed by Breck Eisner, 2008
Written by Mick Garris from a Del Howison short story
I am all about serialized, non-contiguous horror. I dig standalone storytelling and the familiar face bit casting, so I feel the ageless form always has a place on television. If we are judging from a first episode basis, however, that […]

I normally do not introduce Sayer’s reviews, but I must say that I recommend reading this one in full. It is long; like Dirk Diggler long, but much so worth it. And for that reason I am publishing it earlier than his other reviews. That and I’ll be vacationing in Austin this […]

Directed by Danny Pang, Oxide Pang Chun, 2007
Written by Mark Wheaton, Todd Farmer
Several months ago I woke up in the middle of the night with an inexplicable (read: alcohol) sickness in my stomach that begged my digestive track to be free of its gastric prison. I awoke in that all too familiar breed of […]

Directed by Declan O’Brien, 2008Written by Berkeley Anderson, Ron Fernandez
I’ll never forget a quiz from a geology lesson in a sixth grade science class.  One question stands out to this day; "What is the difference between a rock and a mineral?"  Faced with such a diabolical question, the girl to my left - I’ve forgotten […]

Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2008Written by Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan
I am writing this review on my cellphone*.  Why?  Well, because my computer is upstairs and I am downstairs, but I also find no evidence to believe the screenwriters of SAW IV used a real word processor, either, so it seems an appropriate fit.  For […]

Written and Directed by Jonathan King, 2006

Genetically engineered sheep, released inadvertently by activists, not only overrun a small Kiwi town, but any human bitten turns into some insane kind of weresheep?  Self-aware limits with a no-shame script?  Early Peter Jackson aspirations with a contemporary, Oscar winning P. Jackson’s WETA workshop doing the makeup effects?  All […]

Directed by Jim Sonzero, 2006Written by Wes Craven, Ray Wright, Kiyoshi Kurosawa (Original film)

Pulse is dark. 
No, not morbid, but literally dark.  As in you can’t see a damned thing.  I mention this because it is the only thing you will remember about the movie.  How damned ugly it looks and how processings its 24 […]

Directed by James Wong, 2006

Every now and then you have to love a franchise.  The Final Destination series is certainly no Nightmare on Elm Street, but it is the only original horror franchise since the early ’90s.  The first film has already hit the back burner of praise for its generation, but I’d venture to […]

Directed by Douglas Cheek, 1984

Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.  That is all you need to know about the letters C.H.U.D. to know what kind of movie it is.
I understand some things age better than others.  Cheese can age well.  Milk cannot.  Night of the Comet aged well.  C.H.U.D. did not.
The U.S. government has been forced to […]

Directed by Robert Hiltzik, 1983

I love the kids-stalked-at-summer-camp plot.  Maybe it’s because I spent several weeks of summer when I was younger at Camp Lakewood, a camp not too different from any of these cinematic cliches.  Or maybe I just like cabins.  Either way, my affinity for all that jazz wasn’t enough to save Sleepaway […]

Directed by Timur Bekmambetov, 2005

In Soviet Russia, movie hates you!
In the interest of full disclosure, one should know my history with this film’s predecessor. When I first saw Night Watch over a year and a half ago, I thought it was one of the most insane fantasy films I’d ever seen. I watched […]

Directed by Byeong-ki Ahn, 2002. Review originally written 3-30-05

I’ll make this brief because I wasn’t very impressed with it. I’m a huge fan of the Asian ghost film. These days they’re the only thing being produced that does actually scare me. It’s a mixture of the over use of negative space, harsh contrasts and […]