Directed by Scott Stewart, 2010 Written by Peter Schink, Scott Stewart Joining the ranks of Night of the Living Dead, Assault on Precinct 13, Demon Knight, From Dusk Till Dawn, Feast, Maximum Overdrive, and a host of other “siege” horror films, comes Legion, an unrepentantly dopey fantasy-action-horror hybrid built upon the idea that God hates [...]

Written and Directed by Uwe Boll Without question RAMPAGE is the best film Dr. Uwe Boll has ever made.  However, and this is an elephantine however, that statement still needs qualification.  RAMPAGE is fascinating for both its successes and its failures, but ultimately the movie is still a failure; albeit the best failure Uwe Boll [...]

Written and Directed by Paul Solet, 2009 Opening with other people’s opinions is not something I do often, but it should be said that enough people love GRACE that I am aware of my place in the minority camp.  But if you trust my opinion on horror, you’ll temper expectations drastically.  Paul Solet’s feature film [...]

Directed by Fred Olen Ray, 2009 Written by Mark Sanderson I am a man of refined tastes possessing a palette more exacting than a green lazer straight from Laser Cove, but, alas, I am still just a man.  Soft bits wrapped around hard bits with chemistry connecting it all.  Who am I to resist a [...]

Lux Pain Developed by Killaware Published by Ignition Entertainment Lux Pain is one of those games with a hollowed out and rotten trunk that has some fairly interesting aspects branch off. Unfortunately, it’s not bugs and execution that bog Lux Pain down; it is the simple fact that Lux should have not been a game; [...]

Directed by David Hackl, 2008 Written by Patrick Melton & Marcus Dunstan Due to an obscene obligation to see every horror movie that comes out theatrically within the first week of release, SAW V has the honor of being the first of the SAW films I’ve seen in theater. Due to the obscene awfulness of [...]

Directed by David Smith, 2005 Written by Phil O’Shea If I’m going to keep watching such mediocre ninety-ish minutes of trapped time, I need to at least watch high concept mediocrity.  SPIRIT TRAP’s plot is as salient as a cobweb on a glass case of cobwebs nestled within a Cobweb Museum.  If that isn’t bad [...]

Directed by Gregory Hoblit, 2008 Written by Robert Fyvolent, Mark Brinker, Allison Burnett UNTRACEABLE is 4th rate direction scattered with 2nd rate actors giving 3rd rate performances of a 5th rate script.  But until BRAINSCAN comes in from Netflix, I suppose it will suffice as something to review. A horror movie in the most watered [...]

Directed by Breck Eisner, 2008 Written by Mick Garris from a Del Howison short story I am all about serialized, non-contiguous horror. I dig standalone storytelling and the familiar face bit casting, so I feel the ageless form always has a place on television. If we are judging from a first episode basis, however, that [...]

I normally do not introduce Sayer’s reviews, but I must say that I recommend reading this one in full. It is long; like Dirk Diggler long, but much so worth it. And for that reason I am publishing it earlier than his other reviews. That and I’ll be vacationing in Austin this weekend, so no [...]

Directed by Danny Pang, Oxide Pang Chun, 2007 Written by Mark Wheaton, Todd Farmer Several months ago I woke up in the middle of the night with an inexplicable (read: alcohol) sickness in my stomach that begged my digestive track to be free of its gastric prison. I awoke in that all too familiar breed [...]

Directed by Declan O’Brien, 2008Written by Berkeley Anderson, Ron Fernandez I’ll never forget a quiz from a geology lesson in a sixth grade science class.  One question stands out to this day; "What is the difference between a rock and a mineral?"  Faced with such a diabolical question, the girl to my left – I’ve [...]

Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2008Written by Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan I am writing this review on my cellphone*.  Why?  Well, because my computer is upstairs and I am downstairs, but I also find no evidence to believe the screenwriters of SAW IV used a real word processor, either, so it seems an appropriate fit.  [...]

Written and Directed by Jonathan King, 2006 Genetically engineered sheep, released inadvertently by activists, not only overrun a small Kiwi town, but any human bitten turns into some insane kind of weresheep?  Self-aware limits with a no-shame script?  Early Peter Jackson aspirations with a contemporary, Oscar winning P. Jackson’s WETA workshop doing the makeup effects?  [...]

Directed by Jim Sonzero, 2006Written by Wes Craven, Ray Wright, Kiyoshi Kurosawa (Original film) Pulse is dark.  No, not morbid, but literally dark.  As in you can’t see a damned thing.  I mention this because it is the only thing you will remember about the movie.  How damned ugly it looks and how processings its [...]

Directed by James Wong, 2006 Every now and then you have to love a franchise.  The Final Destination series is certainly no Nightmare on Elm Street, but it is the only original horror franchise since the early ’90s.  The first film has already hit the back burner of praise for its generation, but I’d venture [...]

Directed by Douglas Cheek, 1984 Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.  That is all you need to know about the letters C.H.U.D. to know what kind of movie it is. I understand some things age better than others.  Cheese can age well.  Milk cannot.  Night of the Comet aged well.  C.H.U.D. did not. The U.S. government has [...]

Directed by Robert Hiltzik, 1983 I love the kids-stalked-at-summer-camp plot.  Maybe it’s because I spent several weeks of summer when I was younger at Camp Lakewood, a camp not too different from any of these cinematic cliches.  Or maybe I just like cabins.  Either way, my affinity for all that jazz wasn’t enough to save [...]

Directed by Timur Bekmambetov, 2005 In Soviet Russia, movie hates you! In the interest of full disclosure, one should know my history with this film’s predecessor. When I first saw Night Watch over a year and a half ago, I thought it was one of the most insane fantasy films I’d ever seen. I watched [...]

Directed by Byeong-ki Ahn, 2002. Review originally written 3-30-05 I’ll make this brief because I wasn’t very impressed with it. I’m a huge fan of the Asian ghost film. These days they’re the only thing being produced that does actually scare me. It’s a mixture of the over use of negative space, harsh contrasts and [...]