All posts in the 'C-' category

Pandora’s Box: Boot Camp (2008)

Pandora’s Box is an advisory column in which I watch a film based solely on its cover art, or box if you will, and determine whether or not it’s worth your time when you’re perusing the horror section of Instant Netflix. I do no research and watch no trailers, these films are completely and 100% […]

THE THING 2011 Review [Includes spoilers, but since you’ve seen Carpenter’s film already…]

Directed by Matthijs van Heijningen Jr., 2011 Written by Eric Heisserer No one involved with THE THING 2011 understands what the words imitate or replicate mean. There’s a moment where Mary Elizabeth Winstead, supposedly a pre-eminent paleontologist/grad student, and Eric Christian Olsen are staring down a microscope at a part-human, part-alien blood sample. In it they see […]

FINAL DESTINATION 5 Review: Let’s Get This Over With

Directed by Steven Quale, 2011 Written by Eric Heisserer FINAL DESTINATION 5 is the best film in the franchise since FINAL DESTINATION 2.  This is not a compliment, it is a statistic.  Yes, Steven Quale’s film is better than the nigh unwatchable fourth entry and the barely competent third film, but improvement is not the same […]

THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT, Review – Editing Room Scares for Kids.

Directed by Peter Cornwell, 2009 Written by Adam Simon & Tim Metcalfe I could recommend THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT to any 13 year old boy or girl.  I stress that I could make such a recommendation, but I don’t know any 13 year olds and even if I did, I’m not sure I’d want to […]


Directed by Jeff Renfroe, 2009 Written by Raul Inglis When the Sci-Fi Channel announced a campaign to re-brand itself as Syfy even non-fans scoffed at the silly name change.  When a representative for the network was asked on Twitter why the change was made and how it would impact programming, the official answer was, “Syfy […]


Directed by Tommy Wirkola, 2009 Written by Tommy Wirkola, Stig Frode Henriksen DEAD SNOW could have been great.  DEAD SNOW should have been great.  Sadly all the couldas and the shouldas and the good intentions don’t change the final product. Half of it is a good horror, the other half plagued by pesky things like […]

Review: THE UNINVITED (2009)

Directed by Charles Guard and Thomas Guard, 2009 Written by Craig Rosenberg and Doug Miro based on A TALE OF TWO SISTERS In an recent response to my original dismissal of Fox television show “FRINGE”, a reader pointed out that I should factor in the general population’s narrowed intake of Science Fiction instead of comparing […]

Guest Music Review: Wrath, Lamb of God

This review is brought to you by Randy Mull, whose not even one year old son is more metal than you are.  Previous reviews: Death Magnetic, The Crucible of Man. Lamb of God Wrath Rating 6 of 10 Bonus Tracks Go to 11 It is official, with the release of Wrath, Virginia metal heavyweights Lamb […]

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