All posts in the 'C' category


Blu-ray Review: ‘Hands of the Ripper’ (1971)

I didn’t know much of anything about Hammer’s Hands of the Ripper when sitting down to watch it. I knew it was Hammer’s stab at a Jack the Ripper story, but that was it, and honestly? Going in blind is probably part of the reason I got so absorbed in the film. I didn’t realize […]

THE WOLFMAN Review.

Directed by Joe Johnston, 2010 Written by Andrew Kevin Walker and David Self I’ve got just as many complaints as I have compliments for Joe Johnston’s THE WOLFMAN, but the crux of its failings is this; What’s the point?  Lawrence Talbot (Benecio Del Toro) returns home to his estranged and aloof father (Anthony Hopkins) to […]

THE REVENANT Mini-Review [Fantastic Fest '09]

Written and Directed by D. Kerry Prior, 2009 There is a good movie buried within THE REVENANT, but unfortunately the film is still a few edits away from unearthing it.  It’s got a solid horror-comedy skeleton to it in the form of a plot about an Iraqi war veteran who returns home, only to re-animate […]

SCOURGE (2008) Review. [Netflix Watch Instantly]

Written and Directed by Jonas Quastel, 2008 If a movie exceeds expectations by being exactly what it should be can I call that the TAKEN effect? If so, can I then say that I was TAKEN by SCOURGE? Hopefully that makes grammatical sense, because after being pleasantly surprised by my first two NWI picks, SCOURGE […]

Review: The Conduit (Video Game)

The Conduit Developer(s) High Voltage Software Publisher(s) Sega It’s the game Wii owners have been salivating for since E3 2008, proudly boasting that THE CONDUIT is the best first-person shooter for the Wii and will pave the way for future games utilizing what they have accomplished. It’s a pretty big claim and for better or […]

Review: COMING SOON

Written and Directed by Sopon Sukdapisit, 2008 It’s no secret that I am partial to Thai horror.   Because the US has no counterpart to it, I envy the genuine superstition for the afterlife found in Thai culture.  We have no nation spanning fears of spirits, which is precisely why American horror pales in the ghost […]

Review: TIMBER FALLS

Directed by Tony Giglio, 2007 Written by Daniel Kay TIMBER FALLS is an overall decent City Folk Shouldn’t Go Hiking flick with the potential to have been better were it not bookended by arguably the most over exposed horror set-up there is.  An attractive couple chipper enough to take a weekend long hike in the […]

Review: QUARANTINE

Directed by John Erick Dowdle, 2008 Written by John Erick Dowdle & Drew Dowdle, based on 2007′s [REC] QUARANTINE is nothing to me but a surrogate for everything wrong with Hollywood horror.  Production began on it before [REC] had even left post-production in its native Spain, which may just be a world record for fastest […]

Review: MIRRORS

Directed by Alexandre Aja, 2008 Written by Alexandre Aja & Grégory Levasseur, based on INTO THE MIRROR Looking into mirrors we tend to only see our flaws reflected back.  Not me of course.  I am a fucking Adonis, but I understand the effect self inspection has on normal people.  How appropriate, then, that when we […]

Mini-Impressions: “PRIMEVAL” – Pilot

Created by Tim Haines, Adrian Hodges, 2007 No, this is not a series version of the passable giant crocodile film of the same name.  “PRIMEVAL” is a British Sci-Fi series from 2007 already in its second season across the pond.  Here in the colonies, however, BBC America is just now airing the first season.  Taking […]

Review: DREAMCATCHER

Directed by Lawrence Kasdan 2003 Written by Lawrence Kasdan, William Goldman based on Stephen King’s novel There are people who love this movie.  Fans  of it band together like outcasts.  There are also battalions more who despise it, who wish it cancer.  Of this hate I am not unsympathetic.  Not that I actively like the […]

Review: NIGHTSCARES (aka BEYOND BEDLAM)

Directed by Vadim Jean, 1994 Written by Vadim Jean, based on the novel by John Brosnan NIGHTSCARES opens with long pans of the exterior of an apartment building inter-cut with long holds on the faces of people sleeping. This sequence is followed immediately by Craig Fairbrass as the worst cop ever (which makes him the […]

Mini-Review: “FEAR ITSELF” – SPOOKED

Directed by Brad Anderson, 2008 Written by Matt Venne Brad Anderson is a name that bodes much hook with me.  He is a director whose television stints on “THE WIRE” and “SURFACE” are work I’ll go out of my way to detour for, so I feel fortunate when his job falls in line with my […]

Review: DIARY OF THE DEAD

Written and Directed by George A. Romero, 2007 I cringe thinking it. I cringe. And yet the thought is no longer figurative, but empirical. A chain of words that have lost their requirement for a question mark at the end: George A. Romero is no longer relevant. Cringe. I don’t think it is particularly good, […]

Review: FRONTIER(S)

Written and Directed by Xavier Gens, 2007 Perfect timing for me to appear hypocritical over two superficially similar French flicks. I lauded the shallow film INSIDE despite being a gore show with nary a story to tell and I am now going to proceed to, um, non-laud FRONTIER(S) for being a gore show with nary […]

Guest Review: ANGUISH

Review by R. J. Sayer Directed by Bigas Luna, 1987 Written by Eva Lesmes, Bigas Luna, Michael Berlin Like many horror geeks, I practically grew up in Video Stores. And like many of the visitors to this site – I assume, anyway – I would spend eons in the horror section just gazing with awe […]

Review: The Last Winter

Directed by Larry Fessenden, 2006 Written by Larry Fessenden, Robert Leaver It is only natural that out of the current political climate of buzz words and fought-over science a new niche would evolve; eco-horror. Not too much of it has hit film yet, but mark my words; it will. Unfortunately for director Larry Fessenden, THE […]

Review: The Signal

Written and Directed by David Bruckner, Jacob Gentry, Dan Bush 2007 THE SIGNAL is a janitor at MIT who spends evenings with a mop in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other, casually redoing mathematical formulas on blackboards.  Except THE SIGNAL is no wunderkind.  No Ivy Leaguer should be fooled, no matter […]

Review: Croc

Directed by Stewart Raffill, 2007Written by Ken Solarz Put a bullet in the brain pan of any standing objectives planned for today. Obtain Croc. Netflix it. Blockbuster it. Go to Best Buy and steal it. Obtain Croc. Also obtain a platitude of alcohol of choice as well as friends to consume both with. Make no […]

Review: The Eye (2008)

Directed by David Moreau, Xavier Palud 2008Written by Sebastian Gutierrez; original screenplay by Jo Jo Yuet-chun Hui & the Pang Brothers I did not want to see The Eye, nor do I now particularly want to write about it. The whole thing is an issue of non-importance, like the election of School Board officials. In […]

Review: Tremors 4: The Legend Begins

Directed by S.S. Wilson, 2004Teleplay by Scott Buck Tremors 4: The Legend begins, which is set in 1899 and still manages to star franchise stalwart Michael Gross as an ancestor of NRA loving Burt, is better than you’d expect from the third in a sporadic trickle of straight-to-DVD sequels. Take this not as a sound […]

Review: I Am Legend

Directed by Francis LawrenceWritten by Mark Protosevich and Akiva Goldsman, based on the novel by Richard Matheson The most offensive thing about the newest adaptation of Richard Matheson’s indelible classic is that it has the temerity to call itself I Am Legend. Maybe the producers considered the age of the original novel and thought no […]

Review: Return to House on Haunted Hill – HD DVD

Directed by Víctor García, 2007Written by William Massa The second viewer choice to be made during this experiment in story delivery comes when an Asian woman is trapped in a room with two nude female ghosts who stroke and surround her as if the decaying operating room they are in were nothing more than the […]

Review: The Reaping

Directed by Stephen Hopkins, 2007Written by Carey Hayes & Chad Hayes, Story by Brian Rousso Remember when The Reaping kept having its release pushed farther and farther back, the studio omen that they don’t have faith in what they just bank rolled?  And then when it finally came out, everyone hated it?  Well, technically not […]

Review: The Bunker

Directed by Rob Green, 2001Written by Clive Dawson Note: Despite that awesome cover, know there are no zombies anywhere in this film.  Unless you count the director, screenwriter and actors. Is it law that any film with a group of people trapped in one locale must have Friedrich Nietzsche’s abyss quote as an opening title? […]

Review: Halloween (2007)

Directed by Rob Zombie, 2007Written by Rob Zombie; original screenplay by John Carpenter and Debra Hill "Give them nothing!  But take from them everything!" That line from 300 kept running through my sporadically idle mind while watching Rob Zombie’s Halloween.  Zombie took everything that makes Halloween work and gave nothing back.  He gave nothing to […]

Review: Primeval

Directed by Michael Katleman, 2007Written by John D. Brancato & Michael Ferris Nature run amok.  Crocodiles going ape shit.  You’ve seen Lake Placid.  Or Crocodile.  Or Crocodile 2: Death Swamp.  Or Lake Placid 2.  Or Dinocroc.  Or Krocodylus.  Or the upcoming, unrelated, duo of Rogue and Black Water… Point is, it seems that all these […]

Review: Dead Silence

Directed by James Wan, 2007Written by Leigh Whannell Full of emptiness, Dead Silence’s script was surely scrapped together after the Saw duo decided they wanted to somehow make a movie about dummies.  They certainly didn’t set out to tell a morbid coming home story, a murder mystery or a quiet chiller.  All of those things […]

Review: Secret Window

Directed by David Koepp, 2004Written by David Koepp, Stephen King Secret Window stings me.  I like David Koepp.  I think he is a fine studio writer and, whether it is embarrassing to admit or not, had a huge impact on both my life and my likes.  Jurassic Park, to a kid my age, was a […]

Review: The Breed

Directed by Nicholas Mastandrea, 2006Written by Robert Conte, Peter Martin Wortmann Ah, yes, the veritable ‘college co-eds go on weekend retreat to remote cabin’ plot.  Oh how reliable you are.  Always there as a fall back when the brain is too stressed by character development to worry about setting or plot logic. Or when you […]

Review: The Witches Hammer

Written and Directed by James Eaves, 2006 Glance at the above poster for The Witches Hammer and one would surely be convinced as to what kind of movie they’re getting into.  Let me further inform that it was made by a bunch of idealistic Brits who had a micro-budget.  Given these two pieces of evidence, […]

Review: When a Stranger Calls (2006)

Directed by Simon West, 2006Written by Jake Wade Wall, from the 1979 screenplay by Steve Feke and Fred Walton I have duel confessions to make.  I will watch anything in High Definition.  It is important to understand this is the only reason I began to watch the remake of When a Stranger Calls.  A follow […]

Review: Love Object

Written and Directed by Robert Parigi, 2003 Love Object is a movie you’re not likely to have heard of, written and directed by a guy you’ve definitely not heard of.  It is a movie that will have played best to its initial festival crowd and whose more realistic audience consists of bored people like me; […]

Review: Masters of Horror: Pelts

Directed by Dario Argento, 2006Written by Matt Venne, F. Paul Wilson If you talk Italian horror you talk first and foremost of Argento and Fulici.  I confess that of the twenty odd films and television episodes that Dario Argento has directed, I’ve seen exactly 3 – and two of those are "Masters of Horror" episodes.  […]

Review: Colic

Directed by Patchanon Thammajira, 2006 I’ve had my eye on Colic ever since its original teaser poster popped up at the HK Filmmart.  And by popped up, I mean jumped off the screen and shoved its mutilated baby arm in your face.  That poster is the greatest teaser poster ever made.  End of discussion. A […]

Review: Let’s Scare Jessica to Death

Directed by John D. Hancock, 1971Written by John D. Hancock, Lee Kalcheim It is hardly a forgotten classic, thanks to its cult following, but Let’s Scare Jessica to Death never fully made its way into the popular vocabulary.  Not in the same way as some of its cohorts; Rosemary’s Baby, The Exorcist, Last House on […]

Review: Saw III

Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2006Written by James Wan, Leigh Whannell It’s a pity that the Saw franchise is the number one name associated with media claims that American horror has turned into snuff films and torture porn.  I say this not in defense of Saw’s integrity, but rather the fact that such derisive, ultimately […]

Review: Freak Out

Directed by Christian James, 2004Written by Christian James, Dan Palmer Christian James’ first feature film, Freak Out, is the closest you’ll get to a Troma film without the Troma label.  That is, perhaps, the best available litmus test for whether or not you’ll enjoy the film.  If you’re a fan of low budget schlock, you’ll […]

Review: House of Wax (2005)

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, 2005Written by Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes, Charles Belden (story) Pull the trigger, I accept the bullets openly.  House of Wax taint half bad.  On a fair day, it may even be considered half good.  The combo weights of being an unnecessary remake at the height of remake hysteria and casting Paris […]

Review: Masters of Horror: The Damned Thing

Directed by Tobe Hooper, 2006Written by Richard Christian Matheson The previous team up of R.C. Matheson and Tobe Hooper resulted in Dance of the Dead, what many (present company included) considered the worst episode of Masters’ first season.  I fell asleep during it. It is with a clear conscious that I feel obligated to inform […]

Review: Feast

Directed by John Gulager, 2005 Feast sucks.  I’ve written and rewritten this introduction countless times now and regardless of how I try to word the drumroll, the punchline stays the same.  It sucks.  Period.  The end. Project Greenlight’s editing would have led you to believe that the hapless John Gulager was to blame for the […]

Review: I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer

Directed by Sylvain White, 2006 Ten years after the events of the original I Know What You Did Last Summer, this Always Knowing sequel follows a group of friends who hear of the legend of the Fisherman, decide for some self-fulfilling reason to stage a mock killer attack at the county fair, except someone conveniently […]

Review: Strange Sunset

Directed by Robert J. Escandon, 2006 Strange Sunset is in little capacity a horror movie, but as a fan of the indie fare, Rob Escandon asked me to check out his film, so check it out I did.  I’ll admit that when I put it in, I was a little hesitant as to whether or […]

Review: Tail Sting

Directed by Paul Wynne, 2001 I watched Tail Sting with the guarantee that it was the worst film ever made.  This is bullshit.  Tail Sting rocks and rocks hard, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  Yes, it is a horrible movie, but it is a kick all the same. Snakes on a Plane?  Fuck snakes!  […]

Review: Wolf Creek

Directed by Greg McLean, 2005 I’ve been in a horror rut recently, hence the lack of reviews.  There’s nothing coming out that I want to see theatrically.  I’m a big supporter of direct-to-DVD stuff, but there’s little to offer there as well.  I never particularly had a good feeling about Wolf Creek, but given the […]

Review: Dagon

Directed by Stuart Gordon, 2001 The only similarity between Stuart Gordon’s Dagon and H.P. Lovecraft’s short story it’s based on happens to be that they both involve fish people.  Stuart Gordon’s involves a small boat (or is it a yacht?  I’m not rich enough to know the difference) full of 4 people crashing off the […]

Review: Friday the 13th Part III

Directed by Steve Miner, 1982 Why am I reviewing Friday the 13th Part III without having reviewed any of the other 9 films in the series (counting Freddy vs. Jason)?  First, because Christine and I have horror marathons whenever she comes down during which we try to watch all kinds of random movies we haven’t […]

Review: Silent Hill

Directed by Christophe Gans, 2006 I sit here staring at a picture of a beast of a man with a pyramid for a head, holding the biggest, rustiest knife in the world in one hand and a bloody corpse in the other and then I think back on what I saw tonight and wonder, “what […]

Review: Andre the Butcher

Directed by Philip Cruz, 2005 Andre the Butcher is a movie for people who just don’t care. After the mandatory, unrelated-to-the-rest-of-the-movie opening death, it kicks off with a hillbilly narrator who introduces us to Andre, the film’s urban legend cannibal, and our unique little cast of good guys; a high school cheerleading squad (all four […]

Review: Three..

Directed by Peter Chan, Ji-woon Kim, Nonzee Nimibutr, 2002 Though shadowed by its more successful and more popular followup, Three.. Extremes, Three.. (to my knowledge) started the trend of the Asian omnibus horror film. At its barebones, I love the idea of a film being directed by multiple directors, even if its just going to […]

Review: The Descent

Directed by Neil Marshall, 2005. Review originally written 11-07-05 What a freaking headache. I’m not the worldest biggest fan of Dog Soldiers, I think it is a decent enough flick, but I thought buzz was very solid about The Descent…

Review: Dead Birds

Directed by Alex Turner, 2004. Review originally written 3-30-05 I always check out the quotes they decide to put on the cover/back of a DVD. I had been looking forward to Dead Birds anyway, just because of what I read of it in Fangoria, but I was even more eager when I read on the […]

Review: The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

Directed by Wes Craven, 1977 I’ll admit that I hadn’t seen the original before seeing the remake. You’d expect someone who has a horror site to have all the cult classics crossed off their list, but I guess I’m just a failure. Having seen the remake it is a little redundant for me to praise […]

Review: R-Point

Directed by Su-chang Kong, 2004 The Tartan Asia Extreme (a company I truly respect, so you should too) R1 release of Korea’s R-Point touts on the cover, “The best military-guys-meet-supernatural-evil flick since Dog Soldiers.” That may be true, but it isn’t saying much. First off, there are only a handful of army v. supernatural flicks […]

Review: Rabid

Directed by David Cronenberg, 1977 I’ll tell you right off the bat, if the name David Cronenberg is meaningless to you, this movie will be as well. Cronenberg’s earliest entries to the genre have strange qualities to them that I really dig. He has a way of creating scenarios that are obscurely atypical, but never […]

Review: Cookers

Directed by Dan Mintz, 2001 Addicts who set up a meth lab in a dilapidated house in the woods is, at least, unchartered territory in the genre. But Cookers shows why it probably is untred ground. It’s really just not that interesting. Addicts are boring. They’re the same in every single movie and they’re never […]

Review: House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim

Directed by Michael Hurst, 2005 I’d just like to point out that I was right in my guess as to House of the Dead 2′s fate, since I just saw a commercial for it on Sci-Fi. Not much of a surprise… I didn’t know anything about the production of this obvious disaster going into it, […]

Review: The Dark Hours

Directed by Paul Fox, 2005 Where was I in the late 90′s when the law was passed that says, “If you are making a psychological horror film said film’s conclusion must be that all of the film’s events were in the protagonist’s head?” I don’t remember getting to vote on this, but apparently it must […]

Review: Boy Eats Girl

Directed by Stephen Bradley, 2005 Boy loves girl. Boy has misunderstanding, is devestated by girl. Boy kills himself. Mother raises boy from the dead. Such is Boy Eats Girl. There is something about any high school horror movie that I am just a sucker for. Maybe it is the idea of an entire high school […]


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