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All posts in the 'C' categoryReview: NIGHTSCARES (aka BEYOND BEDLAM)Directed by Vadim Jean, 1994 Mini-Review: “FEAR ITSELF” - SPOOKEDDirected by Brad Anderson, 2008 Review: DIARY OF THE DEADWritten and Directed by George A. Romero, 2007 Review: FRONTIER(S)Written and Directed by Xavier Gens, 2007 Guest Review: ANGUISHReview by R. J. Sayer Review: The Last WinterDirected by Larry Fessenden, 2006 Review: The SignalWritten and Directed by David Bruckner, Jacob Gentry, Dan Bush 2007 Review: CrocDirected by Stewart Raffill, 2007Written by Ken Solarz Review: The Eye (2008)Directed by David Moreau, Xavier Palud 2008Written by Sebastian Gutierrez; original screenplay by Jo Jo Yuet-chun Hui & the Pang Brothers Review: Tremors 4: The Legend BeginsDirected by S.S. Wilson, 2004Teleplay by Scott Buck Tremors 4: The Legend begins, which is set in 1899 and still manages to star franchise stalwart Michael Gross as an ancestor of NRA loving Burt, is better than you’d expect from the third in a sporadic trickle of straight-to-DVD sequels. Take this not as […] Review: I Am LegendDirected by Francis LawrenceWritten by Mark Protosevich and Akiva Goldsman, based on the novel by Richard Matheson The most offensive thing about the newest adaptation of Richard Matheson’s indelible classic is that it has the temerity to call itself I Am Legend. Maybe the producers considered the age of the original novel and thought no […] Review: Return to House on Haunted Hill - HD DVDDirected by Víctor García, 2007Written by William Massa The second viewer choice to be made during this experiment in story delivery comes when an Asian woman is trapped in a room with two nude female ghosts who stroke and surround her as if the decaying operating room they are in were nothing more than the VIP […] Review: The ReapingDirected by Stephen Hopkins, 2007Written by Carey Hayes & Chad Hayes, Story by Brian Rousso Remember when The Reaping kept having its release pushed farther and farther back, the studio omen that they don’t have faith in what they just bank rolled? And then when it finally came out, everyone hated it? Well, technically not everyone, […] Review: The BunkerDirected by Rob Green, 2001Written by Clive Dawson Note: Despite that awesome cover, know there are no zombies anywhere in this film. Unless you count the director, screenwriter and actors. Review: Halloween (2007)Directed by Rob Zombie, 2007Written by Rob Zombie; original screenplay by John Carpenter and Debra Hill "Give them nothing! But take from them everything!" Review: PrimevalDirected by Michael Katleman, 2007Written by John D. Brancato & Michael Ferris Nature run amok. Crocodiles going ape shit. You’ve seen Lake Placid. Or Crocodile. Or Crocodile 2: Death Swamp. Or Lake Placid 2. Or Dinocroc. Or Krocodylus. Or the upcoming, unrelated, duo of Rogue and Black Water… Review: Dead SilenceDirected by James Wan, 2007Written by Leigh Whannell Full of emptiness, Dead Silence’s script was surely scrapped together after the Saw duo decided they wanted to somehow make a movie about dummies. They certainly didn’t set out to tell a morbid coming home story, a murder mystery or a quiet chiller. All of those things make […] Review: Secret WindowDirected by David Koepp, 2004Written by David Koepp, Stephen King Secret Window stings me. I like David Koepp. I think he is a fine studio writer and, whether it is embarrassing to admit or not, had a huge impact on both my life and my likes. Jurassic Park, to a kid my age, was a mind […] Review: The BreedDirected by Nicholas Mastandrea, 2006Written by Robert Conte, Peter Martin Wortmann Ah, yes, the veritable ‘college co-eds go on weekend retreat to remote cabin’ plot. Oh how reliable you are. Always there as a fall back when the brain is too stressed by character development to worry about setting or plot logic. Review: The Witches HammerWritten and Directed by James Eaves, 2006 Glance at the above poster for The Witches Hammer and one would surely be convinced as to what kind of movie they’re getting into. Let me further inform that it was made by a bunch of idealistic Brits who had a micro-budget. Given these two pieces of evidence, one […] Review: When a Stranger Calls (2006)Directed by Simon West, 2006Written by Jake Wade Wall, from the 1979 screenplay by Steve Feke and Fred Walton I have duel confessions to make. I will watch anything in High Definition. It is important to understand this is the only reason I began to watch the remake of When a Stranger Calls. A follow up […] Review: Love ObjectWritten and Directed by Robert Parigi, 2003 Love Object is a movie you’re not likely to have heard of, written and directed by a guy you’ve definitely not heard of. It is a movie that will have played best to its initial festival crowd and whose more realistic audience consists of bored people like me; too […] Review: Masters of Horror: PeltsDirected by Dario Argento, 2006Written by Matt Venne, F. Paul Wilson If you talk Italian horror you talk first and foremost of Argento and Fulici. I confess that of the twenty odd films and television episodes that Dario Argento has directed, I’ve seen exactly 3 - and two of those are "Masters of Horror" episodes. For […] Review: ColicDirected by Patchanon Thammajira, 2006 I’ve had my eye on Colic ever since its original teaser poster popped up at the HK Filmmart. And by popped up, I mean jumped off the screen and shoved its mutilated baby arm in your face. That poster is the greatest teaser poster ever made. End of discussion. Review: Let’s Scare Jessica to DeathDirected by John D. Hancock, 1971Written by John D. Hancock, Lee Kalcheim It is hardly a forgotten classic, thanks to its cult following, but Let’s Scare Jessica to Death never fully made its way into the popular vocabulary. Not in the same way as some of its cohorts; Rosemary’s Baby, The Exorcist, Last House on the […] Review: Saw IIIDirected by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2006Written by James Wan, Leigh Whannell It’s a pity that the Saw franchise is the number one name associated with media claims that American horror has turned into snuff films and torture porn. I say this not in defense of Saw’s integrity, but rather the fact that such derisive, ultimately pussyfooted […] Review: Freak OutDirected by Christian James, 2004Written by Christian James, Dan Palmer Christian James’ first feature film, Freak Out, is the closest you’ll get to a Troma film without the Troma label. That is, perhaps, the best available litmus test for whether or not you’ll enjoy the film. If you’re a fan of low budget schlock, you’ll love […] Review: House of Wax (2005)Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, 2005Written by Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes, Charles Belden (story) Pull the trigger, I accept the bullets openly. Review: Masters of Horror: The Damned ThingDirected by Tobe Hooper, 2006Written by Richard Christian Matheson The previous team up of R.C. Matheson and Tobe Hooper resulted in Dance of the Dead, what many (present company included) considered the worst episode of Masters’ first season. I fell asleep during it. Review: FeastDirected by John Gulager, 2005 Feast sucks. I’ve written and rewritten this introduction countless times now and regardless of how I try to word the drumroll, the punchline stays the same. It sucks. Period. The end. Review: I’ll Always Know What You Did Last SummerDirected by Sylvain White, 2006 Ten years after the events of the original I Know What You Did Last Summer, this Always Knowing sequel follows a group of friends who hear of the legend of the Fisherman, decide for some self-fulfilling reason to stage a mock killer attack at the county fair, except someone conveniently replaces […] Review: Strange SunsetDirected by Robert J. Escandon, 2006 Strange Sunset is in little capacity a horror movie, but as a fan of the indie fare, Rob Escandon asked me to check out his film, so check it out I did. I’ll admit that when I put it in, I was a little hesitant as to whether or not […] Review: Tail StingDirected by Paul Wynne, 2001 I watched Tail Sting with the guarantee that it was the worst film ever made. This is bullshit. Tail Sting rocks and rocks hard, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Yes, it is a horrible movie, but it is a kick all the same. Review: Wolf CreekDirected by Greg McLean, 2005 I’ve been in a horror rut recently, hence the lack of reviews. There’s nothing coming out that I want to see theatrically. I’m a big supporter of direct-to-DVD stuff, but there’s little to offer there as well. I never particularly had a good feeling about Wolf Creek, but given the buzz […] Review: DagonDirected by Stuart Gordon, 2001 The only similarity between Stuart Gordon’s Dagon and H.P. Lovecraft’s short story it’s based on happens to be that they both involve fish people. Stuart Gordon’s involves a small boat (or is it a yacht? I’m not rich enough to know the difference) full of 4 people crashing off the shore […] Review: Friday the 13th Part IIIDirected by Steve Miner, 1982 Why am I reviewing Friday the 13th Part III without having reviewed any of the other 9 films in the series (counting Freddy vs. Jason)? First, because Christine and I have horror marathons whenever she comes down during which we try to watch all kinds of random movies we haven’t seen. […] Review: Silent HillDirected by Christophe Gans, 2006 I sit here staring at a picture of a beast of a man with a pyramid for a head, holding the biggest, rustiest knife in the world in one hand and a bloody corpse in the other and then I think back on what I saw tonight and wonder, “what the […] Review: Andre the ButcherDirected by Philip Cruz, 2005 Andre the Butcher is a movie for people who just don’t care. Review: Three..Directed by Peter Chan, Ji-woon Kim, Nonzee Nimibutr, 2002 Though shadowed by its more successful and more popular followup, Three.. Extremes, Three.. (to my knowledge) started the trend of the Asian omnibus horror film. At its barebones, I love the idea of a film being directed by multiple directors, even if its just going to […] Review: The DescentDirected by Neil Marshall, 2005. Review originally written 11-07-05 What a freaking headache. Review: Dead BirdsDirected by Alex Turner, 2004. Review originally written 3-30-05 I always check out the quotes they decide to put on the cover/back of a DVD. I had been looking forward to Dead Birds anyway, just because of what I read of it in Fangoria, but I was even more eager when I read on the […] Review: The Hills Have Eyes (1977)Directed by Wes Craven, 2977 I’ll admit that I hadn’t seen the original before seeing the remake. You’d expect someone who has a horror site to have all the cult classics crossed off their list, but I guess I’m just a failure. Review: R-PointDirected by Su-chang Kong, 2004 The Tartan Asia Extreme (a company I truly respect, so you should too) R1 release of Korea’s R-Point touts on the cover, “The best military-guys-meet-supernatural-evil flick since Dog Soldiers.” That may be true, but it isn’t saying much. First off, there are only a handful of army v. supernatural […] Review: RabidDirected by David Cronenberg, 1977 I’ll tell you right off the bat, if the name David Cronenberg is meaningless to you, this movie will be as well. Review: CookersDirected by Dan Mintz, 2001 Addicts who set up a meth lab in a dilapidated house in the woods is, at least, unchartered territory in the genre. But Cookers shows why it probably is untred ground. Review: Saw 2Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2005 I appreciate the original Saw for drawing enough crowds to turn Lions Gate a very solid profit, but that’s about it. I think it was a worthless movie which showed absolutely zero promise for James Wan as a filmmaker and exposed him as nothing more than a gimicky screenwriter. […] Review: House of the Dead 2: Dead AimDirected by Michael Hurst, 2005 I’d just like to point out that I was right in my guess as to House of the Dead 2’s fate, since I just saw a commercial for it on Sci-Fi. Not much of a surprise… Review: The Dark HoursDirected by Paul Fox, 2005 Where was I in the late 90’s when the law was passed that says, “If you are making a psychological horror film said film’s conclusion must be that all of the film’s events were in the protagonist’s head?” I don’t remember getting to vote on this, but apparently it must […] Review: Boy Eats GirlDirected by Stephen Bradley, 2005 Boy loves girl. Boy has misunderstanding, is devestated by girl. Boy kills himself. Mother raises boy from the dead. Such is Boy Eats Girl. |
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