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All posts in the 'Reviews' categoryReview: THE CHILDRENDirected by Tom Shankland, 2008 More horror movies come out per month than I have numbers for. Plot that out over a year and the number of titles becomes sheer cacophony. There is so much mediocrity in the world that a film must be either [...] Review: DEADGIRLDirected by Marcel Sarmiento and Gadi Harel, 2008 Before watching DEADGIRL I was reading a recap at EvilOnTwoLegs.com of Fangoria’s most recent Weekend of Horrors in NYC. Jon was recounting actors and directors across multiple panels who all lamented America’s new remake fueled industry, an industry that leaves no room for risk taking. [...] Review: F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin (Video Game)F.E.A.R. 2: PROJECT ORIGIN Review: COMING SOONWritten and Directed by Sopon Sukdapisit, 2008 It’s no secret that I am partial to Thai horror. Because the US has no counterpart to it, I envy the genuine superstition for the afterlife found in Thai culture. We have no nation spanning fears of spirits, which is precisely why American horror pales in the ghost department [...] Review: DRAG ME TO HELLDirected by Sam Raimi, 2009 Review: SILENT VENOMDirected by Fred Olen Ray, 2009 Review: Lux Pain (Video Game)Lux Pain Review: PONTYPOOLDirected by Bruce McDonald, 2009 Review: THE UNINVITED (2009)Directed by Charles Guard and Thomas Guard, 2009 Review: THE BURROWERSWritten and Directed by J.T. Petty, 2008 THE UNBORN (as a Text Based Adventure).Written and Directed by David S. Goyer, 2009 You have nothing else to do. GUEST REVIEW: RESIDENT EVIL 5 (XBOX 360/PS3)Published and Developed by Capcom, 2009 Review: THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (2009)Directed by Dennis Iliadis, 2009 Review: MARTYRSWritten and Directed by Pascal Laugier, 2008 Guest Music Review: Wrath, Lamb of GodThis review is brought to you by Randy Mull, whose not even one year old son is more metal than you are. Previous reviews: Death Magnetic, The Crucible of Man. Review: ALIEN RAIDERSDirected by Ben Rock, 2008 Review: FRITT VILT (COLD PREY)Directed by Roar Uthaug, 2006 Movies I Quit: MY NAME IS BRUCEMY NAME IS BRUCE, Review: SPLINTERDirected by Toby Wilkins, 2008 Review: FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)Directed by Marcus Nispel, 2009 Review: TIMBER FALLSDirected by Tony Giglio, 2007 Movies I Quit: RED MISTRED MIST, Directed by Paddy Breathnach, 2008 Review: MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-DDirected by Patrick Lussier, 2009 Review: 100 FEETWritten and Directed by Eric Red, 2008 Horror 2008, a Retrospective: Part 5, News & EventsNot necessairly the most important headlines of 2008 (yes, the writer’s strike ended), rather the, “Oh, I remember that” variety. Note there is no chronological order to the listing of these events, the majority of which are derived from the creation/cessation of various production houses with the potential to shape the horror flow for the [...] Review: EDEN LAKEWritten and Directed by James Watkins, 2008 Review: WIND CHILLDirected by Gregory Jacobs, 2007 Horror 2008, a Retrospective: Part 4, October to DecemberNot much to say other than enjoy Part Four of Horror’s Not Dead’s 2008 Retrospective. Wasn’t a bad year, but now that all the major titles are in it, it wasn’t, as I like to say, good sex. Horror 2008, a Retrospective: Part 3, July to SeptemberJuly to September, always anemic pre-Halloween hump for horror to get over. Two thousand and eight twas no different. Horror 2008, a Retrospective: Part 2, April to JuneNot much to say other than enjoy Part Two of Horror’s Not Dead’s 2008 Retrospective, Festivus celebrating extravaganza. Horror 2008, a Retrospective: Part 1, January to MarchPart 1: January to March. Review: TIMECRIMES (Los Cronocrímenes)Written and Directed by Nacho Vigalondo, 2007 Review: S&MANDirected by J.T. Petty, 2006 Review: LEFT 4 DEAD (PC) – Peter’s TakePublished by Valve, 2008 REVIEW – LEFT 4 DEAD (PC) – Matt’s TakeLEFT 4 DEAD Review: SHARK IN VENICEDirected by Danny Lerner, 2008 Review – Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition (Video Game)Published and Developed by Capcom. 2005 Review: “DEAD SET”Created by Charlie Brooker, 2008 Review: LET THE RIGHT ONE INDirected by Tomas Alfredson, 2008 Review: THE SUBSTITUTE (aka VIKAREN)Directed by Ole Bornedal, 2007 Review: SAW VDirected by David Hackl, 2008 Review: Dead Rising (Video Game)Developed and produced by Capcom 2006. Review: ROVDYRDirected by Patrik Syversen, 2008 Review: DANCE OF THE DEADDirected by Gregg Bishop, 2008 Reviews: DEAD SPACE (Video Game)No, that is not a typo in the title, for the first time ever HND has multiple reviews for the same item. Today we talk DEAD SPACE, a survival horror video game on 360, PS3 and PC from Electronic Arts. I’ve always wanted to have multiple perspectives on the same thing run at the same [...] Review: QUARANTINEDirected by John Erick Dowdle, 2008 Guest Review: TRICK ‘R TREATReview written by R. J. Sayer, a very angry, vulgar, perfunctory but damn insightful fellow. I’m busy as hell and rushing off to the Renaissance Festival for the day, so I haven’t even read this raving endorsement yet, but I couldn’t wait. Guest Music Review: Metallica – Death MagneticI know, I know. I was supposed to have MetalsNotDead.com up for Randy by the end of September. I done got busy. Enjoy: Review: Metallica – Death Magnetic, by Randy Mull Review: MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAINDirected by Ryuhei Kitamura, 2008 Review: SPIRIT TRAPDirected by David Smith, 2005 Review: UNEARTHEDWritten and Directed by Matthew Leutwyler, 2007 Review: WHITE NOISE 2: THE LIGHTDirected by Patrick Lussier, 2007 Review: HANSEL & GRETELDirected by Pil-Sung Yim, 2007 Guest Music Review: ICED EARTH – THE CRUCIBLE OF MAN (SOMETHING WICKED PART 2)I’ve prefaced this before, but just in case we’ll go around again. A one Randall Mull, a man whose office I visit often throughout the day when trying to avoid doing work of my own, happens to have dual hobbies of metal and writing. One day we were joking about my site, as it is [...] Impressions: “TRUE BLOOD”Created by Alan Ball, 2008 Guest Review: CRIMSON RIVERS and RESURRECTIONThe first, and possibly the only, guest review(s) submitted to the site while I am away in Qatar. Dueling thoughts below from reader Brian on the 1999 flick RESURRECTION and 2000’s CRIMSON RIVERS. So, enjoy his straight-to-the point thoughts while I’m away. Review: THE GIRLS REBEL FORCE OF COMPETITIVE SWIMMERSDirected by Kôji Kawano, 2007 Review: MIRRORSDirected by Alexandre Aja, 2008 Review: BARTHOLOMEW OF THE SCISSORS #1 (Comic)Written by Chad Helder, 2008 Mini-Impressions: “PRIMEVAL” – PilotCreated by Tim Haines, Adrian Hodges, 2007 Review: STARSHIP TROOPERS 3: MARAUDERWritten and Directed by Edward Neumeier, 2008 Review: “FEAR ITSELF” – IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTHDirected by John Landis, 2008 Review: BRAINSCANDirected by John Flynn, 1994 Review: UNTRACEABLEDirected by Gregory Hoblit, 2008 Review: ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANEDirected by Jonathan Levine, 2006 Review: ROGUEWritten and Directed by Greg Mclean, 2007 Review: DREAMCATCHERDirected by Lawrence Kasdan 2003 Review: NIGHTSCARES (aka BEYOND BEDLAM)Directed by Vadim Jean, 1994 Mini-Review: “FEAR ITSELF” – FAMILY MANDirected by Ronny Yu, 2008 Mini-Review: “FEAR ITSELF” – SPOOKEDDirected by Brad Anderson, 2008 Review: DEVOURDirected by David Winkler, 2005 Review: THE HAPPENINGWritten and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan, 2008 Review: “FEAR ITSELF” – THE SACRIFICEDirected by Breck Eisner, 2008 Review: SUMMER OF NIGHT (Novel)Written by Dan Simmons, 1991 Review: THE STRANGERSWritten and Directed by Bryan Bertino, 2008 Review: LAZER GHOSTS 2: RETURN TO LASER COVEWritten and Directed by Steven Kostanski, 2008 Guest Review: THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOODI normally do not introduce Sayer’s reviews, but I must say that I recommend reading this one in full. It is long; like Dirk Diggler long, but much so worth it. And for that reason I am publishing it earlier than his other reviews. That and I’ll be vacationing in Austin this [...] Review: DIARY OF THE DEADWritten and Directed by George A. Romero, 2007 Review: FRONTIER(S)Written and Directed by Xavier Gens, 2007 Guest Review: THE KINDREDGuest Review by R.J. Sayer Review: TEETHWritten and Directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein, 2007 Review: INSIDEDirected by Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury, 2007 Guest Review: ANGUISHReview by R. J. Sayer Review: INVASIONDirected by Albert Pyun, 2005 Review: THE MESSENGERSDirected by Danny Pang, Oxide Pang Chun, 2007 Review: CAMPFIRE TALESDirected by Matt Cooper, Martin Kunert, David Semel, 1997 Review: [REC]Directed by Jaume Balagueró, Paco Plaza, 2007 Review: Prom NightDirected by Nelson McCormick, 2008 Review: The Last WinterDirected by Larry Fessenden, 2006 Review: The RuinsDirected by Carter Smith, 2008 Review: Funny Games U.S.Written and Directed by Michael Haneke, 2008 Review: Rock MonsterDirected by Declan O’Brien, 2008Written by Berkeley Anderson, Ron Fernandez Review: Saw IVDirected by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2008Written by Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan Review: Storm WarningDirected by Jamie Blanks, 2007Written by Everett De Roche Review: Hostel: Part IIWritten and Directed by Eli Roth, 2007 Review: The SignalWritten and Directed by David Bruckner, Jacob Gentry, Dan Bush 2007 Review: Right at Your DoorWritten and Directed by Chris Gorak, 2007 Review: CrocDirected by Stewart Raffill, 2007Written by Ken Solarz Review: Mulberry StreetDirected by Jim Mickle, 2007Written by Nick Damici and Jim Mickle Review: The Eye (2008)Directed by David Moreau, Xavier Palud 2008Written by Sebastian Gutierrez; original screenplay by Jo Jo Yuet-chun Hui & the Pang Brothers Mini-Review!: Murder PartyI introduce to you, intrepid and sexy reader, the Mini-Review! We pour through quite the volume of film each week and while I’d love to write a lengthy review for everything, truth is a lot of the time the magic don’t muster. Times it be the dreaded block of the writer, other times I can’t [...] Review: Ghost VoyageDirected by James Oxford, 2008Written by (IMDB doesn’t even know) I would like to pretend that I Tivo’ed this past Saturday’s Sci-Fi channel premiere film, Ghost Voyage, as a lark. Please, grant me that fantasy. Ignore the reality. Ignore that we watched this as it aired, which is to say we watched [...] Review: The Long Walk (Novel)Written by Stephen King as Richard Bachman, 1979 Stephen King’s publishing pseudonym was created because, presumably, the public would not accept an author who published more than one novel per year. Thus Richard Bachman was created, an alter-ego that allowed King’s market output to keep pace with the author’s throughput. Bachman was [...] Review: Tremors 4: The Legend BeginsDirected by S.S. Wilson, 2004Teleplay by Scott Buck Tremors 4: The Legend begins, which is set in 1899 and still manages to star franchise stalwart Michael Gross as an ancestor of NRA loving Burt, is better than you’d expect from the third in a sporadic trickle of straight-to-DVD sequels. Take this not as [...] Review: CloverfieldDirected by Matt Reeves, 2007Written by Drew Goddard The bittersweet truth of Cloverfield is that the fans were right and the filmmakers were wrong half-right. With the materialization of a vague teaser trailer before Transformers, JJ Abrams opened the gates to an empty amusement park and proceeded to tell no one what [...] Review: The Orphanage (El Orfanato)Directed by Juan Antonio Bayona, 2007Written by Sergio G. Sánchez I lost a lot of money today. For me a hitherto unprecedented amount of money. Not quite, “I’ll put that in my mouth for $5 so I can eat tonight” kind of money, rather “Fuck Apple stock, shots all around!” kind of money. [...] Review: I Am LegendDirected by Francis LawrenceWritten by Mark Protosevich and Akiva Goldsman, based on the novel by Richard Matheson The most offensive thing about the newest adaptation of Richard Matheson’s indelible classic is that it has the temerity to call itself I Am Legend. Maybe the producers considered the age of the original novel and thought no [...] Review: The Man From EarthDirected by Richard Schenkman, 2007Written by Jerome Bixby In my November DVD guide I said this of The Man From Earth: Review: The MistDirected and Adapted for the Screen by Frank Darabont from Stephen King’s Novella, 2007 I have a tendency to be hyperbolic in immediate praise of any movie that really does something for me. As a type of critic, this is a sure flaw, but please understand that I am making a conscious effort to tone [...] Review: AloneWritten and Directed by Banjong Pisanthanakun and Parkpoom Wongpoom, 2007 I imported Shutter on a whim nearly three years ago. This was when I was going to FSU, living by myself in a one-bedroom. More specifically, it was during a period when I was watching Asian films almost exclusively — somewhere in the neighborhood of 12+ per [...] Review: The TripperDirected by David Arquette, 2006*Written by David Arquette & Joe Harris The ingredients for The Tripper are indeed peculiar. Peace loving hippies at a music festival in the deep woods, a man in a Ronald Reagan mask slaying festival goers, Thomas Jane as a police office, Paul Ruebens as the festival promoter, Jason Mewes as one [...] Review: AbominableDirected by Ryan Schifrin, 2006Written by Ryan Schifrin, Story by James Morrison Abominable is an unstoppable good time, the single most admirable straight-to-DVD film in years and flatly the best cryptozoological horror ever made. Supremely ambitious, never compromising personality for cheap satisfaction, Ryan Schifrin’s ripped open the cabin bound terror tale with the same fervor [...] Review: 13 BelovedDirected by Chukiat Sakweerakul, 2006Written by Chukiat Sakweerakul, based on the comic by Eakasit Thairatana 13 Beloved is not a horror movie. It is a dark, brutal comedy with a plot that should fit snugly into the heart of any genre fan. I’m not sure it has the international notoriety, yet, but I firmly believe that [...] Review: 30 Days of Night (Film)Directed by David Slade, 2007Written by Steve Niles and Stuart Beattie and Brian Nelson Despite all of the sub-genres, all the crossovers and all the remakes, there are only two kinds of horror films, each defined within five minutes of its run time; 1) that which opens with a brutal slaying of a character unimportant to [...] Review: Return to House on Haunted Hill – HD DVDDirected by Víctor García, 2007Written by William Massa The second viewer choice to be made during this experiment in story delivery comes when an Asian woman is trapped in a room with two nude female ghosts who stroke and surround her as if the decaying operating room they are in were nothing more than the VIP [...] Review: The ReapingDirected by Stephen Hopkins, 2007Written by Carey Hayes & Chad Hayes, Story by Brian Rousso Remember when The Reaping kept having its release pushed farther and farther back, the studio omen that they don’t have faith in what they just bank rolled? And then when it finally came out, everyone hated it? Well, technically not everyone, [...] Review: Ice SpidersDirected by Tibor Takács, 2007Written by Eric Miller Remember Patrick Muldoon, the douchebaggy pilot who tried to break up the star crossed love of Casper Van Dien and Denise Richards in Starship Troopers? Ever wondered what he was up to these days? Ice Spiders. Yes, Ice Spiders. Ice Fucking Spiders is what he is up to. Review: HACK/Slash (comic)Created by Tim Seeley For the past week and a half I’ve been relatively immobilized by minor surgery. It has been a pain in the ass, quite literally as that is where a doctor created the Mariana Trench out of my flesh, but one of the advantages of being couch bound is I get to catch [...] Review: The BunkerDirected by Rob Green, 2001Written by Clive Dawson Note: Despite that awesome cover, know there are no zombies anywhere in this film. Unless you count the director, screenwriter and actors. Review: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie VernonDirected by Scott Glosserman, 2007Written by Scott Glosserman, David J. Stieve The horror genre can easily be imagined as a toy crane machine. Optimists high on past successes slide in dollar bill after dollar bill in wishful attempts to grab hold of something once again worth time and money. Anyone controlling that seductive tri-claw of fate [...] Review: Death Bed: The Bed That EatsWritten and Directed by George Barry, 1977 On his new CD Werewolves and Lollipops Patton Oswalt confesses the pain Death Bed: The Bed That Eats causes him. Not pain from watching it, but from knowing it exists. Knowing someone not only finished a script about a bed that eats people, but that other people thought it [...] Review: Halloween (2007)Directed by Rob Zombie, 2007Written by Rob Zombie; original screenplay by John Carpenter and Debra Hill "Give them nothing! But take from them everything!" Review: Heart-Shaped Box (Novel)Written by Joe Hill, 2007 The only reason Heart-Shaped Box caught my eye was because I know Joe Hill is Stephen King’s eldest son. This is exactly why Joesph Hillstrom King writes under a pseudonym, but this is inevitably a burden he’ll just have to deal with. I can think of far worse weights to shoulder. Review: DisturbiaDirected by D.J. Caruso, 2007Written by Christopher B. Landon and Carl Ellsworth There is no reason to do a song and dance around what you and I both expect Disturbia to be. It is an unofficial Rear Window with teenagers for teenagers directed by a guy who thinks he is a teenager, using two letter abbreviations [...] Review: PrimevalDirected by Michael Katleman, 2007Written by John D. Brancato & Michael Ferris Nature run amok. Crocodiles going ape shit. You’ve seen Lake Placid. Or Crocodile. Or Crocodile 2: Death Swamp. Or Lake Placid 2. Or Dinocroc. Or Krocodylus. Or the upcoming, unrelated, duo of Rogue and Black Water… Review: 3 Dead Girls DVDIn case anyone has escaped the unsolicited promotion of Indie artist Christopher Alan Broadstone’s new DVD, 3 Dead Girls, here is yet another run down: 3DG is the newly available compilation of Broadstone’s award winning short films; Scream For Me, My Skin, and Human No More. New Hi-Def Transfer of Scream for Me Review: SunshineDirected by Danny Boyle, 2007Written by Alex Garland Confession: I like Sci-Fi more than I do Horror. Considerably more, actually, but true Science Fiction, good or bad, is also considerably rarer. Which is why it gives me great pleasure to write about Sunshine. Not only do I get to talk about something different for a change, [...] Review: Dead SilenceDirected by James Wan, 2007Written by Leigh Whannell Full of emptiness, Dead Silence’s script was surely scrapped together after the Saw duo decided they wanted to somehow make a movie about dummies. They certainly didn’t set out to tell a morbid coming home story, a murder mystery or a quiet chiller. All of those things make [...] Review: Black SheepWritten and Directed by Jonathan King, 2006 Genetically engineered sheep, released inadvertently by activists, not only overrun a small Kiwi town, but any human bitten turns into some insane kind of weresheep? Self-aware limits with a no-shame script? Early Peter Jackson aspirations with a contemporary, Oscar winning P. Jackson’s WETA workshop doing the makeup effects? All [...] Review: 1408Directed by Mikael Håfström, 2007Written by Matt Greenberg and Scott Alexander & Larry Karaszewski; from Stephen King’s short story Two of 2007s most promising genre features take their cues from the short form of the Crimson King. The Mist, directed by the proven Frank Darabont, and 1408, helmed by the relatively new Mikael Håfström. The former [...] Review: House of Leaves (Novel)Written by Mark Z. Danielewski, 2000*This is a long review, I know. Read the book. The best way to describe the experience of putting eyes to the pages of House of Leaves is to spoil the ending of my favorite Clive Barker story; "In the Hills, The Cities". Barker’s great short concerns a couple [...] Review: Ils (Them)Written and Directed by David Moreau and Xavier Palud, 2006 Clocking in at a very trim 77 minutes, featuring only two characters (not counting the opening pair, who exist only for an introductory jolt), and hailing from the land of Haute Tension, Ils is a near plot-less exercise in sustaining the slasheresque chase for as long [...] Review: BugDirected by William Friedkin, 2006Written for Stage and Screen by Tracy Letts There is no point in delaying the inevitable conclusion. Bug is a difficult film. It is cinematic art at its narrowest. This is the kind of movie that art house/Indie fundamentals are based on. Under no circumstances will Bug ever find a wide audience. [...] Review: 28 Weeks LaterDirected by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, 2007Written by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo and Rowan Joffe & Jesús Olmo, Enrique López Lavigne The torch has been passed. Not just from original 28 Days director Danny Boyle to 28 Weeks director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, but from the apocalyptic consumer cannibalism of Romero’s Dead -ilogy to today’s Rage infected culture of [...] Review: Secret WindowDirected by David Koepp, 2004Written by David Koepp, Stephen King Secret Window stings me. I like David Koepp. I think he is a fine studio writer and, whether it is embarrassing to admit or not, had a huge impact on both my life and my likes. Jurassic Park, to a kid my age, was a mind [...] Review: The DentistDirected by Brian Yuzna, 1996Written by Dennis Paoli, Stuart Gordon, Charles Finch To me The Dentist is the straight-to-video movie. I can’t tell if it was an actual STV release, but it is the one movie I remember seeing on video store shelves everywhere as a child and thinking to myself, "Wow, did they really make [...] Review: Lake Placid 2Directed by David Flores, 2007Written by Todd Hurvitz, Howie Miller I am not going to bother wasting my time writing a formal review of Lake Placid 2. I am simply going to transcribe the first 2 minutes of the script, anything else you need to know can be extrapolated from this inspired exchange: Review: SublimeDirected by Tony Krantz, 2007Written by Erik Jendresen Make no mistake, Raw Feed jumped off to a forgettable start with Rest Stop. That flick did practically nothing right (except remind that Joey Laurence was still alive) and if popular opinion is to be believed – here’s looking at you IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes – the production [...] Review: UnrestDirected by Jason Todd IpsonWritten by Jason Todd Ipson, Chris Billett (2006) Perhaps the most appropriate real world testament to Unrest’s multiple strengths is the fact that even with the added distraction of a dozen or so progressively louder drunk people on Friday the 13th, it still managed to be a fascinating, well acted story of [...] Review: GrindhouseWritten and Directed by Robert Rodriguez (Planet Terror) and Quentin Tarantino (Death Proof) I’ll not begin to pretend that I have any palpable knowledge of Grindhouses. They mean nothing to me. They lived and died before I even lived. Their movies are lost to me, their directors are lost to me, their style is lost to [...] Review: The BreedDirected by Nicholas Mastandrea, 2006Written by Robert Conte, Peter Martin Wortmann Ah, yes, the veritable ‘college co-eds go on weekend retreat to remote cabin’ plot. Oh how reliable you are. Always there as a fall back when the brain is too stressed by character development to worry about setting or plot logic. Review: The Last Christmas (Graphic Novel)Created and Written by Gerry Duggan & Brian Posehn, 2006 I love everything about the concept of The Last Christmas. The earth’s inevitable zombie apocalypse hits, bringing death to every corner of the globe – including the North Pole. When a band of marauders puts a bullet in Mrs. Claus’ brain, Santa loses it. Christmas is [...] Review: The Witches HammerWritten and Directed by James Eaves, 2006 Glance at the above poster for The Witches Hammer and one would surely be convinced as to what kind of movie they’re getting into. Let me further inform that it was made by a bunch of idealistic Brits who had a micro-budget. Given these two pieces of evidence, one [...] Review: When a Stranger Calls (2006)Directed by Simon West, 2006Written by Jake Wade Wall, from the 1979 screenplay by Steve Feke and Fred Walton I have duel confessions to make. I will watch anything in High Definition. It is important to understand this is the only reason I began to watch the remake of When a Stranger Calls. A follow up [...] Review: Love ObjectWritten and Directed by Robert Parigi, 2003 Love Object is a movie you’re not likely to have heard of, written and directed by a guy you’ve definitely not heard of. It is a movie that will have played best to its initial festival crowd and whose more realistic audience consists of bored people like me; too [...] Review: The Hitcher (1986)Directed by Robert Harmon, 1986Written by Eric Red The original Hitcher has a damned die hard set of enthusiasts. People love that movie in unbelievable ways. Twenty or thirty minutes into it, I was considering joining them. The opening act of Red’s script is the very definition of caged intensity. It captures the spirit of an [...] Review: Masters of Horror: PeltsDirected by Dario Argento, 2006Written by Matt Venne, F. Paul Wilson If you talk Italian horror you talk first and foremost of Argento and Fulici. I confess that of the twenty odd films and television episodes that Dario Argento has directed, I’ve seen exactly 3 – and two of those are "Masters of Horror" episodes. For [...] Review: Pulse (2006)Directed by Jim Sonzero, 2006Written by Wes Craven, Ray Wright, Kiyoshi Kurosawa (Original film) Pulse is dark. Review: ColicDirected by Patchanon Thammajira, 2006 I’ve had my eye on Colic ever since its original teaser poster popped up at the HK Filmmart. And by popped up, I mean jumped off the screen and shoved its mutilated baby arm in your face. That poster is the greatest teaser poster ever made. End of discussion. Review: Let’s Scare Jessica to DeathDirected by John D. Hancock, 1971Written by John D. Hancock, Lee Kalcheim It is hardly a forgotten classic, thanks to its cult following, but Let’s Scare Jessica to Death never fully made its way into the popular vocabulary. Not in the same way as some of its cohorts; Rosemary’s Baby, The Exorcist, Last House on the [...] Review: Saw IIIDirected by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2006Written by James Wan, Leigh Whannell It’s a pity that the Saw franchise is the number one name associated with media claims that American horror has turned into snuff films and torture porn. I say this not in defense of Saw’s integrity, but rather the fact that such derisive, ultimately pussyfooted [...] Review: TuristasDirected by John Stockwell, 2006Written by Michael Ross I’ll wander blindly out onto this lonely limb, but reflecting back on the eligible candidates Turistas is actually one of the best horror films of ‘06. Worth note, however, is that ‘06 boiled down to a rather slim list of candidates. Review: FragileDirected by Jaume Balagueró 2005Written by Jaume Balagueró, Jordi Galcerán All the natural resources ghost films mine their goods from have been plundered for years now. Every now and then a film like Shutter can tap into a familiar vein and uncover treasure in the process, but the law of averages says that most ghosties ride [...] Review: Pan’s LabyrinthWritten and Directed by Guillermo del Toro, 2006 Without question, Pan’s Labyrinth is the hitherto epoch of Guillermo del Toro’s objectively off-and-on filmography. His personal tale about the innocence of a little girl amidst a world of pain is, to say the least, bursting with imagination. Featuring not only the best makeup effects of 2006, but [...] Review: Perfume: The Story of a MurdererDirected by Tom Tykwer, 2006Written by Andrew Birkin, Bernd Eichinger, Tom Tykwer, Patrick Süskind (Novel) I hate to write an introductory paragraph like this. I know there are still a crop of leftovers from 2006 I patiently await (here’s looking at you Mandy Lane, Leslie Vernon, and a Hatchet), but baring the aforementioned unseen(s), I feel [...] Review: AlteredDirected by Eduardo Sánchez, 2006 I don’t care what anyone says these days. I don’t care if they pull the, “I knew it was fake” or, “You never even saw anything, just some guy standing in the corner” – The Blair Witch Project was and still is a damned crafty piece [...] Review: See No EvilDirected by Gregory Dark, 2006Written by Dan Madigan I like to think I have a knack for exaggeration. And yet, no matter how hard I strain my brain, I cannot summon any hyperbole to properly relate just how bad WWE Films’ See No Evil is. Every time I rest my fingers on the home keys, they [...] Review: “The Lost Room” Mini-SeriesDirected by Craig R. Baxley, Michael W. Watkins 2006Written by Laura Harkcom, Christopher Leone, Paul Workman The Sci-Fi Channel has got heart and I love ‘em for it, but their track record on original productions is pretty spotty. Which is why it brings me great, great joy to tell you, kind reader, that The Lost Room [...] Book Review: NextWritten by Michael Crichton, 2006 You may be wondering why I’m reviewing a Michael Crichton book on a horror website. The man writes almost exclusively in the vein of corporate thrillers based around some wacky, out of control, fringe science of the very near future. Review: SeveranceDirected by Christopher Smith, 2006Written by Christopher Smith and James Moran Judging by how many people ask me where the image at the top of the site came from, Christopher Smith’s first film, Creep, never really reached the audience it deserved to. However, The UK’ers sophomore film, Severance, undoubtedly will. It is a simple and affable [...] Review: IsolationWritten and Directed by Billy O’Brien, 2005 Isolation opens aptly with moody, mysterious circumstances surrounding the imminent delivery of a calf on a remote farm in Ireland. Orla, the sole vet tending to the pregnancy, is performing one of what will prove to be several armful uterus probings, when there is a crunching sound prompting an [...] Review: AftermathWritten and Directed by Nacho Cerda, 1994 Aftermath is art so rare, so exacting and so human that it will penetrate all who view it to their deepest core. This is not theory, this is irrefutable fact. It is gravity. Nacho Cerda’s short film is a definition of gravity possessing such validity that had Newton seen [...] Review: “Masters of Horror”: Pro-LifeDirected by John Carpenter, 2006Written by Drew McWeeny, Scott Swan John Carpenter’s work on the ‘Masters of Horror" series has, from the producer and cast point of view, been applauded for his efficiency on set. Call time is at a reasonable hour, shots are simple set ups, no late days. After seeing his latest episode, I [...] Review: Masters of Horror: Sounds LikeDirected by Brad Anderson (2006)Written by Brad Anderson based off Mike O’Driscoll’s short story Brad Anderson – the guiding hand behind Session 9 and The Machinist – has seemingly developed a crush on showing middle aged men in increasing states of mental disrepair. If it weren’t for his television work on shows with continuity linked episodes [...] Review: World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie WarWritten by Max Brooks, 2006 Determining the launching point for a review of Max Brooks’ newest zombie masterwork, World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, is hard. It’s an odd, but welcome challenge to chose where exactly the praise should be heaped first on this fictional journalistic recount of a global undead uprising. [...] Review: The GravedancersDirected by Mike Mendez, 2006Written by Brad Keene, Chris Skinner Finally a movie that reminds horror of the fact that ghosts don’t have to be Asian with long black hair to get your blood pumping. Review: The AbandonedDirected by Nacho CerdàWritten by Nacho Cerdà, Karim Hussain, Richard Stanley The Abandoned is a visceral, vein expanding experience. Acclaimed short film director Nacho Cerdà’s feature length debut possesses qualities either extinct or seldom seen in American horror productions, especially those with studio backing. Elaborate, cold visuals of isolation, decrepitude, murder, and undead doppelgangers. The sound [...] Review: 30 Days of Night (Graphic Novel)Written by Steve NilesArt by Ben Templesmith When it comes to horror movies, I may not be the authority, but I like to imagine I can lay the law down with the best of ‘em. When it comes to horror graphic novels, I’m a preschooler wearing a toy badge. As nerdy as I am, I’ve no [...] Review: From BeyondDirected by Stuart Gordon, 1986Written by Stuart Gordon, Dennis Paoli, Brian Yuzna, based off H. P. Lovecraft’s story Of all H.P. Lovecraft adaptations – in and out of Stuart Gordon’s hand – From Beyond is perhaps the most successful. However, first, a qualifier. I don’t think any director has ever captured the true essence of Lovecraft. [...] Review: Masters of Horror: FamilyDirected by John LandisWritten by Brent Hanley John Landis’ sophomore "Masters" entry is, thus far, the best of the series. I’d even go so far as to say that Family is the best thing the director has been involved with in excess of two decades. Review: Freak OutDirected by Christian James, 2004Written by Christian James, Dan Palmer Christian James’ first feature film, Freak Out, is the closest you’ll get to a Troma film without the Troma label. That is, perhaps, the best available litmus test for whether or not you’ll enjoy the film. If you’re a fan of low budget schlock, you’ll love [...] Review: House of Wax (2005)Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, 2005Written by Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes, Charles Belden (story) Pull the trigger, I accept the bullets openly. Review: Masters of Horror: The Damned ThingDirected by Tobe Hooper, 2006Written by Richard Christian Matheson The previous team up of R.C. Matheson and Tobe Hooper resulted in Dance of the Dead, what many (present company included) considered the worst episode of Masters’ first season. I fell asleep during it. Review: Rest StopDirected by John Shiban, 2006 Straight-to-DVD films are an anomaly. I can’t think of any other arena of filmmaking that so often inspires something along the line of, "I’ve seen a lot of bad movies lately, but X is the worst I’ve seen in quite some time". Review: FeastDirected by John Gulager, 2005 Feast sucks. I’ve written and rewritten this introduction countless times now and regardless of how I try to word the drumroll, the punchline stays the same. It sucks. Period. The end. Review: ReekerDirected by Dave Payne, 2005 I chose a Spanish DVD copy of Dave Payne’s long overdue Reeker as the first film of last week’s Friday the 13th horrorthon. Due to technical difficulties there wasn’t much of a thon going on, but in retrospect it wasn’t a complete bust because Reeker was, perhaps, the most fun I’ve [...] Review: The HostDirected by Joon-ho Bong, 2006 Expectations. Review: Voodoo MoonDirected by Kevin VanHook, 2005 "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."- Some guy named Jesus Review: The WoodsDirected by Lucky McKee, 2006 Notice that year above. Do I put 2003, the year The Woods went into production and forced M. Night Shyamalan to re-title his then-new film to The Village? Or do I put 2006, the year that the foolishly shelved film finally saw the light of release, albeit it at a thimble [...] Review: The PlagueDirected by Hal Masonberg, 2006 First out of the gate from the newly launched, Clive Barker founded Midnight Picture Show production house is the The Plague, staring James Van Der Beek (hint). And if this is what passes Midnight Picture Show’s quality control, then they need to close up shop right now. Review: I’ll Always Know What You Did Last SummerDirected by Sylvain White, 2006 Ten years after the events of the original I Know What You Did Last Summer, this Always Knowing sequel follows a group of friends who hear of the legend of the Fisherman, decide for some self-fulfilling reason to stage a mock killer attack at the county fair, except someone conveniently replaces [...] Review: Stay AliveDirected by William Brent Bell, 2006 Considering this site has gained an audience outside of my immediate circle of friends, my relationship with Stay Alive probably needs to be re-explained in order to fully understand the inferno of rage. Review: Snakes on a PlaneDirected by David R. Ellis, 2006 Snakes on a Plane delivers. Period. Book Review: PuzzlemanWritten by Christopher Alan Broadstone, 2003 I’ll be the first to admit that I have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to the literary side of the genre, but irregardless if I can’t cite every dark fantasy culled up by Clive Barker (and I’ve no doubt the man has come up with [...] Review: Evil AliensDirected by Jake West, 2005 Take a look at Brit Jake West’s IMDB profile and you’ll notice he is the director and editor of over a dozen documentaries on horror film icons, so it should come as no surprise when I say that his latest film, Evil Aliens, is overloaded with what probably amounts to the [...] Review: Monster House (3D!)Directed by Gil Kenan, 2006 Monster House was my first theatrical exposure to 3D and it was, frankly, one of the most memorable movie experiences I’ve ever had. It doesn’t hurt that the movie hits all the right notes, but that third dimension…my god. It’s not just a gimmick, it’s not just eye candy, it’s mind [...] Review: Strange SunsetDirected by Robert J. Escandon, 2006 Strange Sunset is in little capacity a horror movie, but as a fan of the indie fare, Rob Escandon asked me to check out his film, so check it out I did. I’ll admit that when I put it in, I was a little hesitant as to whether or not [...] Review: Hollow Man 2Directed by Claudio Fäh, 2006 I like the first Hollow Man. You can stop trusting anything I say about movies from this point on and I would understand, but I’m a sucker for Verhoeven and his silly, but poker faced, blockbusters that don’t bust the block. Review: Resident Evil: ApocalypseDirected by Alexander Witt, 2004 I didn’t want to watch Resident Evil: Apocalypse. I really didn’t. But I needed something to review, was too lazy to get out of my bed, and it was the only ‘horror’ movie on HBO On-Demand. So the remote won and my soul lost. Review: The Short Films of Christopher Alan BroadstoneDirected by Christopher Alan Broadstone In my experience, short films are a very mixed bag. They’re tough to write, they’re tough to direct and a good one is tough to find. More often than not, short films – especially those from students just entering film school – are laden with pretentious imagery and utterly incoherent storytelling [...] Review: Tail StingDirected by Paul Wynne, 2001 I watched Tail Sting with the guarantee that it was the worst film ever made. This is bullshit. Tail Sting rocks and rocks hard, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Yes, it is a horrible movie, but it is a kick all the same. Review: The GardenDirected by Don Michael Paul, 2006 In the realm of direct-to-DVD horror, The Garden is a unique find for a multitude of reasons. Lance Henriksen is the most obvious motivation for any genre fan to watch this contemporary but isolatory tale of good versus evil. However, not only does the rest of the cast pull their [...] Review: Final Destination 3Directed by James Wong, 2006 Every now and then you have to love a franchise. The Final Destination series is certainly no Nightmare on Elm Street, but it is the only original horror franchise since the early ’90s. The first film has already hit the back burner of praise for its generation, but I’d venture to [...] Review: C.H.U.D.Directed by Douglas Cheek, 1984 Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. That is all you need to know about the letters C.H.U.D. to know what kind of movie it is. Review: Sleepaway CampDirected by Robert Hiltzik, 1983 I love the kids-stalked-at-summer-camp plot. Maybe it’s because I spent several weeks of summer when I was younger at Camp Lakewood, a camp not too different from any of these cinematic cliches. Or maybe I just like cabins. Either way, my affinity for all that jazz wasn’t enough to save Sleepaway [...] Book Review: CellWritten by Stephen King, 2006 Leave it to Stephen King to not only find a way to bring some originality back to zombies, but to also make cell phones threatening past those silly brain tumors. Review: American PsychoDirected by Mary Harron, 2005 I remember seeing American Psycho theatrically. This may be embarrassing of my age, but I was 15 at the time and was dropped off at the movie theater with a group of friends in a minivan. Grant’s mom, the driver, had no desire to see the movie, but we weren’t allowed [...] Review: Night of the CometDirected by Thom Eberhardt, 1984 I often dispel the idea that a golden age of horror where everything released was good has already come and gone (hence the name of this site). While I hold true to that belief, for me the ’80s into the very early ’90s were the genre’s glory years. There was an [...] Review: Cry_WolfDirected by Jeff Wadlow, 2005 I hate to describe films as X meets Y, but Jeff Wadlow and Beau Bauman’s script for Cry_Wolf owes its family tree to too many films for it to go unmentioned. This is Scream meets Mindhunters, as introduced to each other by Cruel Intentions, who was flirting with Wild Things, who [...] Review: TamaraDirected by Jeremy Haft, 2005 It’s a pity when writing a review for a movie becomes an obligatory chore. I know Jeffrey Reddick and Jeremy Haft put a lot of love into Tamara. It’s the only recent Indie teen "slasher" I can think of that was actually shot on film and recieved a small – very [...] Review: Wolf CreekDirected by Greg McLean, 2005 I’ve been in a horror rut recently, hence the lack of reviews. There’s nothing coming out that I want to see theatrically. I’m a big supporter of direct-to-DVD stuff, but there’s little to offer there as well. I never particularly had a good feeling about Wolf Creek, but given the buzz [...] Review: Hard CandyDirected by David Slade, 2005 Hard Candy is not strictly a horror film, but it will mess you up more than any genre movie you’ll see this year and is thus deserving of a spot on this here horror site. If all you know about the film is what you’ve seen from the trailer, you’ll expect [...] Review: Dellamorte Dellamore (Cemetery Man)Directed by Michele Soavi, 1994 As an opening sentence there’s little I can do to make this seem less hyperbolic, and for that I make no attempt to apologize, but I shit you negative when I say Michele Soavi’s work on Dellamorte Dellamore is some of the best direction the celluloid art has ever seen – [...] Review: Dead & BreakfastDirected by Matthew Leutwyler, 2004 It’s movies like this that remind me why I wade through so much crappy, straight-to-DVD, Indie horror. The ratio may be low, but for every ten or fifteen Satan’s Little Helpers or Gingerdead Mans, there is at least one Dead & Breakfast. DVD Review: Incident On And Off A Mountain RoadDamn did Anchor Bay really pack these Masters of Horror DVDs with some very worth while features. Counting the running time of the commentary tracks, of which there are two, there are over 3 hours of special features here: Available Audio Tracks: English (Dolby Digital 5.1), English (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround) Review: DagonDirected by Stuart Gordon, 2001 The only similarity between Stuart Gordon’s Dagon and H.P. Lovecraft’s short story it’s based on happens to be that they both involve fish people. Stuart Gordon’s involves a small boat (or is it a yacht? I’m not rich enough to know the difference) full of 4 people crashing off the shore [...] Review: Friday the 13th Part IIIDirected by Steve Miner, 1982 Why am I reviewing Friday the 13th Part III without having reviewed any of the other 9 films in the series (counting Freddy vs. Jason)? First, because Christine and I have horror marathons whenever she comes down during which we try to watch all kinds of random movies we haven’t seen. [...] Review: AuditionDirected by Takashi Miike, 1999 Even though it’s only seven or so years old, Audition is almost a legendary film already. It doesn’t have a mainstream following yet, but it’s the kind of viral movie that one of your friends sees and then says, "Dude, you’ve GOT to see this one Japanese movie! It’s so fucked [...] Review: The Deadly SpawnDirected by Douglas McKeown, 1983 You know the drill by now. Meteor meets Earth. Slimy slugs with horrible teeth come out to say hello. This time around, though, there’s no bodily possession (read: Night of the Creeps and Slither ), just plain body chomping carnage. Review: Silent HillDirected by Christophe Gans, 2006 I sit here staring at a picture of a beast of a man with a pyramid for a head, holding the biggest, rustiest knife in the world in one hand and a bloody corpse in the other and then I think back on what I saw tonight and wonder, “what the [...] Review: Andre the ButcherDirected by Philip Cruz, 2005 Andre the Butcher is a movie for people who just don’t care. Review: Altered StatesDirected by Ken Russell, 1980 Altered States is one of the most unique ‘obsessed scientist’ horror films ever made. In fact, in that fun little subgenre it is second only to David Cronenberg’s flat-out masterpiece The Fly (which, for the record, I consider to be one of the top two horror films of all time). [...] Review: SuspiriaDirected by Dario Argento, 1977 Dario Argento is a mad man with a camera. I’m no psychologist, or psychiatrist, or scientist, or any kind of -ist for that matter, but I’m pretty sure that if you could record the world through the eyes of a crazy person it would look exactly like Suspiria. Review: ImprintDirected by Takashii Miike, 2005 The wait is over. The UK branch of Bravo had the balls Showtime didn’t and aired Takashi Miike’s ‘banned-because-it-was-too-graphic’ episode of Masters of Horror, titled Imprint. So the main question is, “Did it deserve the controversy?” Review: Night of the CreepsDirected by Fred Dekker, 1986 Why did Fred Dekker stop making movies? Night of the Creeps was his first flick and while it isn’t as perfect as The Monster Squad, it is still a highly entertaining creature feature. It’s a bummer the last thing we’ve gotten from him as a director was Robocop 3… [...] Review: The Ordeal (aka Calvaire)Directed by Fabrice Du Welz, 2004 I’m at a loss for words when it comes to properly describing the Belgian gem of filmmaking that is The Ordeal. Though the term is so generic these days, the best way to put it is simply to call it ‘art house horror’. Welz’s film is a remarkably surreal experience [...] Review: SlitherDirected by James Gunn, 2006 James Gunn’s directorial debut does not fail to live up to its own hype. It is a creature feature as only a Troma veteran can deliver. If you’re at this site, you don’t need me to sell you on Slither. You don’t need me to pitch the plot [...] Review: Three..Directed by Peter Chan, Ji-woon Kim, Nonzee Nimibutr, 2002 Though shadowed by its more successful and more popular followup, Three.. Extremes, Three.. (to my knowledge) started the trend of the Asian omnibus horror film. At its barebones, I love the idea of a film being directed by multiple directors, even if its just going to [...] Review: Day WatchDirected by Timur Bekmambetov, 2005 In Soviet Russia, movie hates you! Review: The DescentDirected by Neil Marshall, 2005. Review originally written 11-07-05 What a freaking headache. Review: ShutterDirected by Banjong Pisanthanakun, Parkpoom Wongpoom, 2004. Review originally written 5-23-05 Once I actually bought it, it took me a while to get around to watching it, but it’s worth the wait. I’m a huge fan of the new wave of Asian cinema, but admittedly my knowledge of the Thai scene is extremely limited so [...] Review: Dead BirdsDirected by Alex Turner, 2004. Review originally written 3-30-05 I always check out the quotes they decide to put on the cover/back of a DVD. I had been looking forward to Dead Birds anyway, just because of what I read of it in Fangoria, but I was even more eager when I read on the [...] Review: PhoneDirected by Byeong-ki Ahn, 2002. Review originally written 3-30-05 I’ll make this brief because I wasn’t very impressed with it. I’m a huge fan of the Asian ghost film. These days they’re the only thing being produced that does actually scare me. It’s a mixture of the over use of negative space, harsh contrasts and [...] Review: The Hills Have Eyes (1977)Directed by Wes Craven, 2977 I’ll admit that I hadn’t seen the original before seeing the remake. You’d expect someone who has a horror site to have all the cult classics crossed off their list, but I guess I’m just a failure. Review: The Hills Have Eyes (2006)Directed by Alexandre Aja, 2006 I remember a conversation from a few years ago between myself, my stepmom and a friend of hers. The topic was the Alien franchise and said friend was explaining that she liked all of the films except the second one because, "it put a child in danger and that is [...] Review: R-PointDirected by Su-chang Kong, 2004 The Tartan Asia Extreme (a company I truly respect, so you should too) R1 release of Korea’s R-Point touts on the cover, “The best military-guys-meet-supernatural-evil flick since Dog Soldiers.” That may be true, but it isn’t saying much. First off, there are only a handful of army v. supernatural [...] Review: DumplingsDirected by Fruit Chan, 2004 I’d been waiting months for the R1 release of Three.. Extremes – as opposed to ‘importing’ the bootleg – because I knew the second disc was going to be the feature length cut of Fruit Chan’s Dumplings, which is easily the high tide line of the trilogy of shorts. It [...] Review: 2001 ManiacsDirected by Tim Sullivan, 2005 A vapid, moronic attempt at a horror film if there ever was one. 2001 Maniacs is everything I hate about horror these days. I’ve heard good things about the original Two Thousand Maniacs!, but this remake is just trash. Review: The Monster SquadDirected by Fred Dekker, 1987 In regards to childhood adventure flicks, The Monster Squad is second only to the Goonies. And, in some categories, The Monster Squad actually kicks The Goonies ass. Plus, if you don’t like either flick, you didn’t have a childhood. End of discussion. Review: Satan’s Little HelperDirected by Jeff Lieberman, 2004 Bad. Bad. Bad. Review: RabidDirected by David Cronenberg, 1977 I’ll tell you right off the bat, if the name David Cronenberg is meaningless to you, this movie will be as well. Review: CookersDirected by Dan Mintz, 2001 Addicts who set up a meth lab in a dilapidated house in the woods is, at least, unchartered territory in the genre. But Cookers shows why it probably is untred ground. Review: The Gingerdead ManDirected by Charles Band, 2005 Just look at that cover! How could anyone possibly resist such a siren’s seductive call? That cover means business. The Gingerdead Man doesn’t ask to be watched, it sticks a knife to your throat and demands that you watch it. When I first saw the full-page ad [...] Review: NightbreedDirected by Clive Barker, 1990 The ’80s/early ’90s were easily the glory days of horror. It was a time when true imagination was on the screen. Material actual felt original back then. It didn’t feel processed. It didn’t feel engineered. It felt right. Review: The Dead ZoneDirected by David Cronenberg, 1983 David Cronenberg knows what the hell is up. Pound for pound he is the greatest American auteur working today. Several of his films are in my all time favorites and I’d even go so far as to list The Fly in my top 5 horror films of all time. [...] Review: Saw 2Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2005 I appreciate the original Saw for drawing enough crowds to turn Lions Gate a very solid profit, but that’s about it. I think it was a worthless movie which showed absolutely zero promise for James Wan as a filmmaker and exposed him as nothing more than a gimicky screenwriter. [...] Review: House of the Dead 2: Dead AimDirected by Michael Hurst, 2005 I’d just like to point out that I was right in my guess as to House of the Dead 2’s fate, since I just saw a commercial for it on Sci-Fi. Not much of a surprise… Review: Dead EndDirected by Jean-Baptiste Andrea, Fabrice Canepa, 2003 Dead End is one of my favorite films of any genre of the last 5 years. I knew I wanted to write a review of something good for this site, for a change, so I knew Dead End had to be it. I wrote a review for [...] Review: Dead MeatDirected by Conor McMahon, 2004 There is a limit to how much handheld, homebrew horror I can take. I didn’t think I could quantify that limit, but after enduring this trash I can firmly tell you that even 30 minutes pushes it. Review: The Dark HoursDirected by Paul Fox, 2005 Where was I in the late 90’s when the law was passed that says, “If you are making a psychological horror film said film’s conclusion must be that all of the film’s events were in the protagonist’s head?” I don’t remember getting to vote on this, but apparently it must [...] Review: CreepDirected by Christopher Smith, 2004 Our heroine, Kate, falls asleep waiting for a train on the London Underground while on her way to try to sleep with George Clooney. That really is how the plot kicks off. She wakes up alone and trapped in the sealed subway system. A train passes by (despite [...] Review: Boy Eats GirlDirected by Stephen Bradley, 2005 Boy loves girl. Boy has misunderstanding, is devestated by girl. Boy kills himself. Mother raises boy from the dead. Such is Boy Eats Girl. Review: HostelDirected by Eli Roth, 2006 Because this site was originally bought with the intention of turning it into an Eli Roth shrine, I think it is only fitting that the first review on it be for Hostel. Ever since the theatrical run of Cabin Fever I have relentlessly praised Roth and once he started making appearances [...] |








