All posts in the 'Reviews' category


Blu-ray Review: ‘A Virgin Among the Living Dead’ (1973)

I may be coming around to Jess Franco. My experiences with the director have been limited to his entries in Kino’s Redemption series of Euro-horror Blu-rays, and the first batch (Oasis of the Zombies, Female Vampire, Exorcism) were tired, dull little numbers, far more cheap than artful. Now with The Awful Dr. Orlof and A […]

Blu-ray Review: ‘The Awful Dr. Orlof’ (1962)

After giving Jess Franco films a fair shake and coming to the conclusion that they just weren’t for me, along comes The Awful Dr. Orlof on Blu-ray to make me reconsider dismissing a body of work based on the half-dozen titles I’d seen previous to this one. Hey, The Awful Dr. Orlof is pretty good! […]

Blu-ray Review: ‘Hands of the Ripper’ (1971)

I didn’t know much of anything about Hammer’s Hands of the Ripper when sitting down to watch it. I knew it was Hammer’s stab at a Jack the Ripper story, but that was it, and honestly? Going in blind is probably part of the reason I got so absorbed in the film. I didn’t realize […]

Blu-ray Review: The Grapes of Death (1978)

Here’s one for zombie completists – Jean Rollin’s The Grapes of Death aka Les Raisins de la Mort, so much better at being a zombie movie than his actual zombie movie Zombie Lake (reviewed here). Some bad, bad grapes are producing some bad, bad wine, making anyone who drinks it into a rapidly-decaying murderous psychopath. […]

Blu-ray Reviews: ‘Zombie Lake’ (1981) and ‘Oasis of the Zombies’ (1982)

I don’t know where horror fans got the idea that “you can’t go wrong with Nazi zombies.” In my estimation, there’s one decent one – 1977′s Shock Waves – and everything else is bunk. Case in point, the one-two punch of Zombie Lake and Oasis of the Zombies (aka Treasure of the Living Dead), staples […]

Blu-ray review: ‘White Zombie’ (1932)

I assume that anyone reading a White Zombie Blu-ray review in 2013 is asking themselves one question, whether they’ve seen the film or not, “is White Zombie worth owning on Blu-ray?” The scrappy film has survived the ages through public domain proliferation and for providing the name for the band that made Rob Zombie famous. […]

House Haunting: House of Torment

The Halloween season is upon us. You can feel it in the air like a dark, heavy mist, carrying the creatures of your nightmares into reality for one entire month. What a shame that it only lasts one month. Now is the time when every shadow holds a secret, every bed hides a monster, and […]

Review: ‘Hoax Hunters #3′

The situation down in the bayou is going south. The first issue introduced us to the world of Hoax Hunters, and introduced us to a mystery worth solving, before we cover it up. The second issue dug a little deeper, and told us just what kind of world we were entering, before leaving us alone […]

Review: ‘Hoax Hunters #2′

Possible the greatest fear in the entertainment industry, for both artists and fans alike, is the sophomore slump. A band releases that first moving album. A director creates their first visual masterpiece. And a comic brings paint and ink to life from inside that plastic-protected first edition. And then comes the second, and it is […]

Review: ‘Hoax Hunters #1′

I have a tendency to make fun of (read: scream with psychotic rage at) people who watch reality shows. It’s true, folks, the zombie apocalypse is coming. But it won’t be the undead or a virus. It’s going to be the brains poisoned by television. But, I do have my own media vice, and that […]

Pandora’s Box: ‘Bloody Reunion’ (2006)

Pandora’s Box is an advisory column in which I watch a film based solely on its cover art, or box if you will, and determine whether or not it’s worth your time when you’re perusing the horror section of Instant Netflix. I do no research and watch no trailers, these films are completely and 100% […]

‘Marquis De Sade’s Justine’ Blu-ray Review: A Gut-Punch of the Most Hateful Variety

I can’t speak for how faithful this adaptation of Marquis De Sade’s Justine (aka Cruel Passion) is, but if it doesn’t stick directly to the text, I have to imagine it sticks to the author’s intent (the best it can, that is, without being pornographic). Under the direction of Chris Boger, and the lens of […]

Late To The Party: ‘Dead Alive’ (aka ‘Braindead’)

“I kick ass for the lord!” says the kung-fu master priest in Peter Jackson’s crazy ass film Dead Alive. With dialogue like that what could go wrong? In the case of Dead Alive, nothing. This film is pure pleasure and I had an absolute riot. I have a theory that horror and comedy share a […]

‘Dark Shadows’ Review: Talky, Chalky Depp Leads 70′s Style Clash

Dark Shadows fans, worried that Tim Burton has turned your beloved TV show into something funny? Don’t worry. He hasn’t. Welcome to Collinsport, a sleepy Maine fishing town, home of the supernaturally troubled Collins family and their long lost vampiric relative from centuries ago, Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp). In his younger days, Barnabas made the […]

‘Ganja & Hess’ Blu-ray Review: Artsy Vampire Film Casts a Confounding Spell

First things first, I can almost guarantee you’ve never seen a film like Bill Gunn’s 1973 effort Ganja & Hess. Perhaps incorrectly labeled as “blaxploitation” because of the time period in which it was released, this vampire movie is about as far from something like Blacula as you can possibly get. Kino Lorber, along with […]

Introducing The Roving Eye: ‘Young, Violent, Dangerous’

What the hell is The Roving Eye, and what is it doing here? A fair question, if rudely phrased. Here at HND our passion for the genre tends to restrict us, often under penalty of death from The Old One, to only writing about horror. While this is an acceptable edict for any website model […]

Review: ‘The Cabin in the Woods’ Proves Horror’s Not Dead

It was quite some time ago, so long I can’t even remember the exact date, that I came into possession of a mini-poster for a film I hadn’t heard of. The poster was tinted red, bearing only the image of an ominous looking cabin surrounded by a forest. The title brandished across the top was […]

‘Virgin Witch’ Blu-ray Review: Banned in the UK, Now Banned in My Living Room

For a little while, I was fascinated by Mill Creek Entertainment’s 12-in-1 DVD horror sets. The movies were, by and large, pretty terrible, but every now and then, you’d come across one that had just enough production value and narrative interest to compel you to actually finish it. Those watchable films were rare. If you […]

Pandora’s Box: ‘Wolf Town’ (2010)

Pandora’s Box is an advisory column in which I watch a film based solely on its cover art, or box if you will, and determine whether or not it’s worth your time when you’re perusing the horror section of Instant Netflix. I do no research and watch no trailers, these films are completely and 100% […]

SXSW 2012: ‘V/H/S’ Rewinds The Fright & Resurrects Dead Formats

In early to mid 70’s the face of Hollywood was changed forever by a new wave of horror directors. One of these directors was Steven Spielberg who would direct episodes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, films like Duel and Jaws. Other members of this motley band of friends included George Lucas with his tale of a […]

SXSW Review: ‘Sinister’ is the Stuff Bad Dreams Are Made Of

True crime novelist Ellison (Ethan Hawke) moves into a new home with his wife and two children. After achieving great success with his novel Kentucky Blood ten years prior, Ellison has struggled to recapture both the critical acclaim and financial returns of his nonfiction opus. Desperate for inspiration, and unbeknownst to his family, he purposefully […]

Pandora’s Box: Boot Camp (2008)

Pandora’s Box is an advisory column in which I watch a film based solely on its cover art, or box if you will, and determine whether or not it’s worth your time when you’re perusing the horror section of Instant Netflix. I do no research and watch no trailers, these films are completely and 100% […]

The Devil Inside Review

The Devil Inside, directed by Stay Alive‘s William Brent Bell, is the story of a young woman whose mother was committed to an asylum after she murdered three people during an exorcism; her own exorcism. The young daughter is now traveling to a hospital in Rome, where her mother was transferred, to examine the validity […]

Halloween White Elephant: Club Dread (2004)

From JC–“I assigned Peter CLUB DREAD because I think it’s an entertaining Broken Lizard film, and an ok horror film, but one that is overall pretty fun to watch as either straight horror or straight comedy.” Club Dread isn’t a guilty pleasure of mine. That’s because there’s no guilt involved, it’s all pleasure. I love […]

Anthrax – Worship Music Review [Guest Music Review]

[Guest music reviewer Randy Mull comes back down off the mountainside for another album review.]

THE THING 2011 Review [Includes spoilers, but since you've seen Carpenter's film already...]

Directed by Matthijs van Heijningen Jr., 2011 Written by Eric Heisserer No one involved with THE THING 2011 understands what the words imitate or replicate mean. There’s a moment where Mary Elizabeth Winstead, supposedly a pre-eminent paleontologist/grad student, and Eric Christian Olsen are staring down a microscope at a part-human, part-alien blood sample. In it they see […]

Fantastic Fest Review: Penumbra

Directed By: Adrian Garcia Boliano and Ramiro Garcia Boliano Written By: Adrian Garcia Boliano and Ramiro Garcia Boliano Run Time: 85 minutes Penumbra, half-light or semidarkness in Spanish, is an Argentinean horror film which punishes its main actress for her character’s distain of Argentina unrelentingly. Marga (Cristina Bondo) is a high powered lawyer in Spain […]

Fantastic Fest Review: Revenge: A Love Story

Directed By: Ching-Po Wong (2010) Written By: Lai-yin Leung, Ching-Po Wong, Juno Mak (Original Story) Run Time: 91 min. Revenge: A Love Story is a Hong Kong thriller from director Ching-Po Wong who helped co-write the screenplay along with Lai-yin Leung. Juno Mak, who wrote the original story, stars as Kit, a grocery store clerk […]

Fantastic Fest Review: Two Eyes Staring

Directed By: Elbert van Strien Written By: Elbert van Strien, Paulo van Vliet Run Time: 112 minutes Any fan of the horror genre will get a kick out of the Dutch film Two Eyes Staring (2010). Set principally in Belgium and secondarily in the Netherlands, Two Eyes Staring is the story of a family with […]

HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 Review – An Unrelenting, Ugly Waste of Time.

Written and directed by Tom Six, 2011 When watching David Fincher’s SEVEN for the first time, did you see the fat man lying dead in a bowl of soup and think to yourself, “Screw the guy with the interesting motive that killed him, I want to see a movie about that worthless, walking tub of […]

SHARK NIGHT 3D Review – You Are Not Prepared.

Directed by David R. Ellis, 2011 Written by Will Hayes, Jesse Studenberg SHARK NIGHT 3D is a brilliant movie.  I’m not being ironic and I’m not trolling you when I say that.  SHARK NIGHT 3D is next level stuff; the most sentient horror movie since SCREAM.  This is the STARSHIP TROOPERS of killer shark movies– and […]

FINAL DESTINATION 5 Review: Let’s Get This Over With

Directed by Steven Quale, 2011 Written by Eric Heisserer FINAL DESTINATION 5 is the best film in the franchise since FINAL DESTINATION 2.  This is not a compliment, it is a statistic.  Yes, Steven Quale’s film is better than the nigh unwatchable fourth entry and the barely competent third film, but improvement is not the same […]

The Terror Tuesday Report: Invasion of the Bee Girls

The Film Notorious biker badass William “Big Bill” Smith plays Neil Agar, a security agent working for the State Department sent to investigate the death of a scientist who was working at the Brandt Research facility. While Agar is busy flirting with laboratory librarian, Julie Zorn (1968 Playboy Playmate of the Year, Victoria Vetri), and […]

Terror Tuesday Report: Brain Damage

Brian is a terribly average guy. He lives in a passable New York City apartment with his brother and spends most of his free time with his loving girlfriend. Unfortunately for Brian, the neighbors in the apartment above him are neither average nor are they passable human beings. For years, they have been harboring an […]

Terror Tuesday Report: The Oracle

The Film A young woman and her husband move into their dream apartment for far less than they thought it would cost; suspiciously so. Turns out the source of the bargain is the mysterious death of the old lady who formerly resided in the apartment. She managed to vanish into thin air while playing a […]

Terror Tuesday Report: Maniac Cop 2

The Film I have an unhealthy level of affection for this entire franchise. In one of the few entries of my AYIF series, I revealed my love for the first film in suspiciously overzealous fashion. After seeing the first, I immediately sought out and watched parts 2 and 3 and found them both to be […]

THE ART OF HAMMER Book Review [A Movie Poster Must-Have]

It’s a bittersweet day to review THE ART OF HAMMER. Right now, as I write this, Hammer’s COUNTESS DRACULA plays in the background, a reminder of the actress Ingrid Pitt, who passed away this November 23 at age 73.  It’s one of my favorite Hammers, starring Pitt as an elderly Elizabeth Bathory-inspired murderess who keeps herself […]

BEING HUMAN Season 2 Blu-ray Review

Created by Toby Whithouse I have, unfortunately, sat on BEING HUMAN for far too long.  When I first heard of the British series back in 2008 I basically knew it as the show about a ghost, a werewolf and a vampire living together.  It sounded promising, but I was unfamiliar with anyone involved with the […]

HOUSE (HAUSU) Blu-ray Review [Oh, Japan!]

Directed by Nobuhiko Obayashi, 1977 Written by Chiho Katsura Reputations are an interesting thing on their own, but they can be exceptionally curious when it comes to the horror genre.  If anything garners a reputation within our walls, it’s likely because it is either A) notoriously bad or B) notoriously shocking.  So once a fan […]

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 Review [One of 2010's Best Horror Movie Surprises]

Directed by Tod Williams, 2010 Written by Michael R. Perry PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 may just be one of the best  horror movie surprises of the year.  Obviously it is destined to be a hit after the massive success of the first film, which is the kind of movie that even if you hated, you had to […]

MOTHER’S DAY Review [Fantastic Fest 2010]

Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2010 Written by Scott Milam Since the first thing that’s on any fan’s mind when it comes to a remake is how said film stacks up with the original, let’s just cut to the chase: I have no idea how Darren Lynn Bousman’s remake of MOTHER’S DAY compares to Troma’s […]

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE: UNRATED Review [Fantastic Fest 2010]

Directed by Steven R. Monroe, 2010 Written by Stuart Morse Steven R. Monroe’s remake of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE is one of the most pathetic films I have ever seen.  I am aware that is going to sound like exaggeration or a kind of knee-jerk reaction; I assure you it is neither.  It’s a […]

MEAT GRINDER Review [A Good Find For Gorehounds]

Written and Directed by Tiwa Moeithaisong, 2009 I feel like I use the “I normally don’t like…” phrase often enough that it has lost a bit of its heft.  After a while one would think that enough qualifications of “normally don’t like” would mean that I do indeed like a specific type of film, but […]

Iron Maiden – Final Frontier [Guest Music Review]

[Guest music reviewer Randy Mull comes back down off the mountainside for another album review.]

PIRANHA 3D Review [I'm in Love.]

Piranha 3D is a horror movie bar mitzvah. It turns boys into men, cleaving their lives into two distinct periods: Before Piranha 3D, a time we shall refer to as The Darkness, and after Piranha 3D, also known as The Awakening. Now that I have thankfully awoken in its glorious elysian fields of excessive gore and outrageous […]

A SERBIAN FILM Review [Is it as disturbing as you've heard?]

Directed by Srdjan Spasojevic, 2010 Written by Aleksandar Radivojevic, Srdjan Spasojevic A SERBIAN FILM has only been shown around the world a handful of times, but I have no doubt that you’ve heard about the film.  Its rarity certainly hasn’t hurt its early reputation as being a film that cannot be unseen, a film so […]

TELL-TALE Review [A Pleasing Twist on Poe]

Directed by Michael Cuesta, 2010 Written by Dave Callaham Dave Callaham’s script for TELL-TALE can hardly be considered a strict adaptation of Edgar Allen Poe’s original story about a murder who smothers an old man in his bed and then buries the chopped up body in the floorboards of the old man’s estate.  He thinks […]

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE Review [Check Out the Laser Show!]

Did I detect a bit of subtext at work in Tom Six’s creep-out THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE?  Could the movie actually be about how the shallow, impersonal connections we make with others cause us to lose our humanity?  I believe so, and that’s more than I expected from a movie about a guy obsessed with sewing […]

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET Review [A solid, scary remake, albeit a joyless one.]

Directed by Samuel Bayer, 2010 Written by Wesley Strick, Eric Heisserer When Platinum Dunes, the production house created by Michael Bay, Andrew Form, and Brad Fuller, first came into being, it took on the father of modern horror films, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It’s safe to say everyone expected it to be a total failure […]

TUCKER & DALE VS. EVIL Review [SXSW Review Catch Up]

Directed by Eli Craig, 2010 Written by Eli Craig, Morgan Jurgenson I like a lot of horror comedies.  They’re obviously not my go-to choice when I think of the genre, but I’m all for horror movies that don’t take themselves too seriously.  I’m not including horror spoofs in this category, of course.  I’m talking about […]

MONSTERS Review [SXSW2010 Roundup]

[In case you haven't noticed, things are slack at HND these days, so since I realize not everyone follows the other sites I write for, I am now committing myself to cross linking all my genre coverage at Cinematical, Horror Squad and Sci-Fi Squad here.  Operation: Climb Back Up Google Rankings begins with SXSW 2010 […]

SUCK Review [SXSW2010 Roundup]

[In case you haven't noticed, things are slack at HND these days, so since I realize not everyone follows the other sites I write for, I am now committing myself to cross linking all my genre coverage at Cinematical, Horror Squad and Sci-Fi Squad here.  Operation: Climb Back Up Google Rankings begins with SXSW 2010 […]

THE LOVED ONES Review [SXSW 2010's Midnight Surprise]

Written and Directed by Sean Byrne, 2009 I’ve been running Horror’s Not Dead for a little over four years now.  If you’ve been reading the site for any decent length of time, you can probably trace how my tastes have cultivated over the years and how from time to time I’ll stumble upon an indie […]

THE CRAZIES Review. [2010's First Must See Horror Movie.]

Directed by Breck Eisner, 2010 Written by Scott Kosar and Ray Wright You’re forgiven for being apprehensive about a remake of THE CRAZIES, George Romero’s classic (as in age, not quality) bit of ’70s violence and paranoia.  I know I was.  After all, we live in a climate where studio (not talent) driven remakes arrive […]

SHUTTER ISLAND Review [Warning, Spoilery Talk Follows the First Paragraph]

Directed by Martin Scorsese, 2010 Written by Laeta Kalogridis If you’re already planning on seeing SHUTTER ISLAND this weekend, don’t read beyond.  If you’re on the fence on seeing what it looks like when Martin Scorsese makes a horror movie, know that it is absolutely worth seeing, but do not read any further.  It’s impossible […]

THE WOLFMAN Review.

Directed by Joe Johnston, 2010 Written by Andrew Kevin Walker and David Self I’ve got just as many complaints as I have compliments for Joe Johnston’s THE WOLFMAN, but the crux of its failings is this; What’s the point?  Lawrence Talbot (Benecio Del Toro) returns home to his estranged and aloof father (Anthony Hopkins) to […]

7 DAYS Review [Sundance Select On-Demand]

Directed by Daniel Grou, 2010 Written by Patrick Senécal Maybe I’ve just spent too much time in the horror genre. Maybe I’ve become desensitized to violence and torture. Maybe I’m just incapable of ignoring the part of my brain that says “It’s all just a movie.” Whatever the case, it’s rare that I find a […]

LEGION Review

Directed by Scott Stewart, 2010 Written by Peter Schink, Scott Stewart Joining the ranks of Night of the Living Dead, Assault on Precinct 13, Demon Knight, From Dusk Till Dawn, Feast, Maximum Overdrive, and a host of other “siege” horror films, comes Legion, an unrepentantly dopey fantasy-action-horror hybrid built upon the idea that God hates […]

THE BOOK OF ELI Review. [Bloody Good Post-Apocalyptic]

Directed by Albert Hughes and Allen Hughes, 2010 Written by Gary Whitta I’m an easy sell on a lot of things and I have a lot of soft spots.  Horror movies shot entirely in daylight…movies set in a single location…movies starring Lance Henriksen…Syfy Original Movies… all of these start off with a halo in my […]

SAGA OF THE SWAMP THING: BOOK 2 Review. [Comics]

What can I add to roughly twenty-five years worth of unfettered praise and critical analysis of Alan Moore’s brilliant run on DC Comics’ Swamp Thing? This question has been haunting me for the past few weeks, as I’ve explored DC’s new hardcover reprint of the material previously collected in the Swamp Thing: Love and Death […]

AVATAR Review. [Sci-Fi Squad Interruption]

[Because I wish even the most skeptical of skeptics would experience this on the big screen, I'm plugging my SFS review of Avatar here.  And also because this is my site and I do what I wants.] The buzz and buzzkill leading up to Avatar, it turns out, found inadequate purchase now that the world […]

VICTORIAN UNDEAD Review [Horror Comics]

There’s a cover blurb on Victorian Undead, the new horror/adventure comic from DC/Wildstorm that proclaims in bright green letters, “SHERLOCK HOLMES VS ZOMBIES!” I feared that the story inside would read as a cash grab opportunity to sell issues based solely on the upcoming Guy Ritchie film. Turns out Victorian Undead’s greatest credit is that […]

MANIAC COP Review. [A Year in Film]

Directed by William Lustig, 1988 Written by Larry Cohen Welcome back to AYIF.  That’s right people, I have returned from the grave to bring you more wonderful treats form my must-see list.  Sorry for the delay, but I have been hard at work helping Pete over at Horror Squad.  So I’ve been lax in my […]

THE REVENANT Mini-Review [Fantastic Fest '09]

Written and Directed by D. Kerry Prior, 2009 There is a good movie buried within THE REVENANT, but unfortunately the film is still a few edits away from unearthing it.  It’s got a solid horror-comedy skeleton to it in the form of a plot about an Iraqi war veteran who returns home, only to re-animate […]

RAMPAGE Mini-Review [Fantastic Fest '09]

Written and Directed by Uwe Boll Without question RAMPAGE is the best film Dr. Uwe Boll has ever made.  However, and this is an elephantine however, that statement still needs qualification.  RAMPAGE is fascinating for both its successes and its failures, but ultimately the movie is still a failure; albeit the best failure Uwe Boll […]

CROPSEY Mini-Review [Fantastic Fest '09]

Directed by Barbara Brancaccio, Joshua Zeman, 2009 Written by Joshua Zeman Documentaries often deal with scary subject matter — JESUS CAMP is more terrifying than any work of fiction I saw in 2006 — but rarely do they intermingle with the typical horror movie narrative.  Yet such is CROPSEY, a documentary that tackles a story […]

WALLED IN Review [Netflix Watch Instantly]

Directed by Gilles Paquet-Brenner, 2009 Written by Rodolphe Tissot, Olivier Volpi, Sylvain White, Gilles Paquet-Brenner When I’m feeling lazy, I like hang out on the couch, drink beer, and watch movies. At those times I have no desire to do anything to advance the quality of my life in any way, and my creative juices […]

HUMAN CENTIPEDE Review. [Fantastic Fest 2009]

Written and Directed by Tom Six, 2009 There’s no reason you should know this, but the only dedicated THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (FIRST SEQUENCE) post ever on HorrorsNotDead.com has been one of the most trafficked posts on this site.  Apparently people enjoy reading about a mad scientist that kidnaps three people, cuts the muscle tissue connecting […]

House of Mystery Halloween Annual #1

Written by Matthew Sturges, Mark Buckingham, Bill Willingham, Peter Milligan, Chris Roberson, Matt Wagner Pencils by Luca Rossi, Kevin Nowlan, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Mike Allred, Amy Reeder Hadley One of my favorite horror comics is DC/Vertigo’s anthology title Flinch, which was published for a too-brief sixteen issue run before cancellation in 2001.  Flipping through Vertigo’s brand-new […]

SAW 6 Review. [Way to Save the Series]

Directed by Kevin Greutert, 2009 Written by Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton I am not a consistent fan of the SAW series.  I love that it is a franchise, I love that it has filled the Halloween event film void that went vacant for far too long, but as far as quality goes, part 3 […]

THE HORSEMAN Review. [An Absolutely Crushing Revenge Thriller]

Written and Directed by Steven Kastrissios, 2008 The revenge thriller is a tough nut to crack.  The key to success is diving brain first into a unique angle on a time-tested formula.  If you’re Pierre Morel with TAKEN you throw Liam Neeson on a plane to Paris and have him throat chop every scumbag that […]

AMERICAN ZOMBIE Review. [Netflix Watch Instantly]

Directed by Grace Lee, 2007 Written by Grace Lee, Rebecca Sonnenshine Mockumentaries as anything other than comedy are damn near impossible to get right. A self-serious mockumentary, as with a horror movie without scares, is a recipe for disaster. Alas, AMERICAN ZOMBIE avoids failure on an epic level (something another recent zombiementary, THE ZOMBIE DIARIES […]

DAYBREAKERS Review. [Fantastic Fest 2009]

Written and Directed by Michael Spierig and Peter Spierig, 2009 When I first saw the trailer for DAYBREAKERS, the Spierig brother’s follow-up to their freshman film UNDEAD, I thought two things about their take on a world overrun by vampires in dire need of some new human blood.  First, that looks a hell of a […]

[REC] 2 Review. [Fantastic Fest '09]

Written and Directed by Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza, 2009 I like that the original [REC]‘s real-time unraveling of an apartment building under quarantine for a mysterious virus that turns the infected into fluid spewing, flesh clawing maniacs is logistically conducive to a sequel. I really like that returning filmmakers Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza […]

TRICK ‘R TREAT Review. [Fantastic Fest '09]

Written and Directed by Michael Dougherty, 2007 Trick ‘r Treat is the holy grail of Halloween themed horror films. Not because of the notoriously long path writer-director Michael Dougherty’s film has had to take to finally get released (a refresher: TrT was finished and first shown back in 2007 and, despite an overwhelming reaction to […]

VAN DIEMEN’S LAND Review. [Fantastic Fest '09]

Directed by Jonathan Auf Der Heide, 2009 Written by Jonathan Auf Der Heide and Oscar Redding Set a film in Tasmania in 1822 with prisoners on the run as characters and, as far as my frame of reference for the story is concerned, you may as well be making a movie on a different planet. […]

THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL Review. [Fantastic Fest '09]

Written and Directed by Ti West, 2009 Time for some rumor control. Contrary to what one would assume watching The House of the Devil, writer-director Ti West does not have the power to bend time and space to his will. Ti West is not a time lord, he is a mere mortal like the rest […]

TRICK ‘R TREAT Graphic Novel Review.

Written by Marc Andreyko Art by Mike Huddleston, Grant Bond, Christopher Gugliotti, Fiona Staples If you really want to experience the differences in storytelling between comics and film, comic book movie adaptations are always a great place to start.  The panels serve as a series of “greatest hits” moments from the film, the writers and artists […]

BLOOD FEAST 2: ALL U CAN EAT Review [Netflix Watch Instantly]

Directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis, 2002 Written by W. Boyd Ford As a thirteen-year-old there wasn’t much more exciting for me than spending the night at friend’s house and getting to rent whatever the heck we wanted to because his parents didn’t care. I wasn’t overly sheltered as a child when it came to R-rated […]

PARANOIAC Review. [Hammer Time!]

While British studio Hammer Films reinvented the Universal Monsters for a new generation, they also produced a handful of psychological thrillers, encouraged by the box office success of Les Diaboliques and the films of Alfred Hitchcock.  One such film was 1963′s Paranoiac, starring professional drunkard Oliver Reed as Grade-A douchebag Simon Ashby, a reckless, hostile […]

NORTH 40 Review. Issues #1-3

Written by Aaron Williams, 2009 Art by Fiona Staples Wildstorm\DC Comics Maybe I’m “old school”, but when I buy an issue of a comic book, I want a story with a beginning, middle, and an end (even if the ending is a cliffhanger).  I understand that this isn’t the nature of the industry anymore; everything […]

BOOK OF BLOOD Review.

Directed by John Harrison, 2009 Written by John Harrison & Darin Silverman When it was first announced that THE BOOK OF BLOOD was going to be adapted into a film, I balked.  Not because it is a bad story, but because it’s barely a story.  THE BOOK OF BLOOD was the framing device Clive Barker […]

THE HUNT Review. [Netflix Watch Instantly]

Directed by Fritz Kiersch, 2006 Written by Fritz Kiersch, Danny Martin Please bear with me, for this review is not like the others. Regardless, it is important for you to continue to reading, because in addition to pointing you in the direction of surprisingly good Instant Watch flicks, it is also my responsibility to sound […]

RESIDENT EVIL – UMBRELLA CHRONICLES (Wii) Review. [Best Rail-Gun Shooter for the Wii]

RESIDENT EVIL: UMBRELLA CHRONICLES Developed and Produced by Capcom, 2007 Being the fanboy I am of the RESIDENT EVIL series, I never learned my lesson with the previously released gun-games (RESIDENT EVIL:SURVIVOR & RESIDENT EVIL: DEAD AIM) and so I went ahead and bought the series omnibus spectacular, RE: UMBRELLA CHRONICLES. As for the story, […]

HAMMER GLAMOUR Review. [Hammer Time!]

Written by Marcus Hearn Published by Titan Books. Hammer Studios doesn’t really get the credit they deserve for creating the modern scream queen.  Our recent horror beauties like Julianna Guill and Betsy Rue owe a debt of gratitude to the British studio, who pioneered the inclusion of gratuitous cheesecake forevermore into horror films, for better […]

SORORITY ROW Review. [Manicured Slasher Fun]

Directed by Stewart Hendler, 2009 Written by Josh Stolberg & Pete Goldfinger One could criticize SORORITY ROW for having mostly unlikeable characters, an aesthetic sense ripped from an American Eagle catalog and dialog lifted wholesale from a wall-to-wall conversation on a freshman’s Facebook page, but one shouldn’t.  Go see SORORITY ROW on opening weekend in […]

SCOURGE (2008) Review. [Netflix Watch Instantly]

Written and Directed by Jonas Quastel, 2008 If a movie exceeds expectations by being exactly what it should be can I call that the TAKEN effect? If so, can I then say that I was TAKEN by SCOURGE? Hopefully that makes grammatical sense, because after being pleasantly surprised by my first two NWI picks, SCOURGE […]

ASYLUM (1972) Review [British Horror Anthology]

Directed by Roy Ward Baker, 1972 Written by Robert Bloch A young psychiatrist, Dr. Martin, is looking to fulfill an empty job position in an insane asylum.  He arrives at the asylum, and upon meeting with the head physician he’s told the reason why a job opening exists.  One of the former doctors has him/herself […]

CONDEMNED – CRIMINAL ORIGINS (PC), Review.

Condemned: Criminal Origins Developed By: Monolith Productions Produced By: SEGA When CONDEMNED: CRIMINAL ORIGINS was first released I felt a sense of unease, it just didn’t sit right with me. It looked impressive enough but the blend of realism mixed with the supernatural just didn’t seem to connect. I tried not to let this prejudiced […]

DEADBOX Review. [Paintball Horror in One Long Take?]

Directed by Robert Archer Lynn, 2007 Written by David Alford, Robert Archer Lynn To say that Peter and I have differing tastes in film is to say that Norman Rockwell painted slightly differently from Salvador Dali.  But since moving to Austin I have become fascinated with movie geek idiosyncrasies and relish the opportunity to explore […]

THE LOST (2006) Review. [Netflix Watch Instantly]

Editor’s Note: I’ve asked BrianK to explore the arid wasteland of Netflix’ Watch Instantly section once a week in search of lost treasures, the only important rule being his find cannot be a film anyone has ever told him anything about.  These are his results. Directed by Chris Sivertson, 2006 Written by Chris Sivertson from […]

FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET Review. [A Year in Film]

Written and Directed by Dario Argento, 1971 Welcome back to AYIF.  I have often lauded the questionable merits of Italian cinema as it pertains to my penchant for shitty post-apocalyptic knock-off films, but the truth is that there are some really fantastic Italian films.  Sure, for the film snobbish among us, we could quickly cite the […]

THE FINAL DESTINATION, Review.

Directed by David R. Ellis, 2009 Written by Eric Bress Does the “The” added before the title, in lieu of a number four, mean that this series is dead now?  FINAL DESTINATION had the efficient idea of cutting out the middle man from slasher films, just offing its teenybopper cast members through awful, gory accidents, […]

GRACE Review. [Did I See the Same Movie as Everyone Else?]

Written and Directed by Paul Solet, 2009 Opening with other people’s opinions is not something I do often, but it should be said that enough people love GRACE that I am aware of my place in the minority camp.  But if you trust my opinion on horror, you’ll temper expectations drastically.  Paul Solet’s feature film […]

INVITATION ONLY, Review.

Directed by Kevin Ko, 2009 Written by Sung In, Carolyn Lin Taiwanese horror doesn’t have much brand identity.  In a way that makes it one of the more interesting Asian nations getting in on the International horror scene.  Korea, Japan and (most recently) Thailand all have emerged with their own symbolic staples both in front […]

BLACKOUT Review. [Netflix Watch Instantly (Mis?)Adventures]

Editor’s Note: I’ve asked BrianK to explore the arid wasteland of Netflix’ Watch Instantly section once a week in search of lost treasures, the only important rule being his find cannot be a film anyone has ever told him anything about.  These are his results. Directed by Rigoberto Castañeda, 2007 Written by Ed Dougherty I […]

THE LANDLORD Review – Selfless Indie Horror.

Written and Directed by Emil Hyde, 2009 I’ve never been noodling, but I imagine blindly thrusting one’s bare arm into the mouth of a catfish is not all that different from watching independent horror.  Both find you wading through the muck and the mire with nothing more than a hope in your heart that the […]

THIRST, Review – Adam’s Take.

I figured a second review of THIRST was best reserved for when the film expanded to several new cities.  What a coincidence that 8/14/09 marks just such an occasion.  Click here for a list of theaters hosting the badass Korean mamajama. Directed by Chan-wook Park, 2009 Written by Seo-Gyeong Jeong, Chan-wook Park A film’s title […]

DISTRICT 9, Review – You Will See This Movie.

Directed by Neill Blomkamp, 2009 Written by Neill Blomkamp & Terri Tatchell DISTRICT 9 will end up being one of the most remembered films of 2009, as well it should be.  Not because it’s perfect, sorry to say, but because it’s a barrier breaker.  For the hardened fans of fantastic cinema, D9 will be a […]

THE CHAOS EXPERIMENT, Review: Join me in the Hate.

Directed by Philippe Martinez, 2009 Written by Robert Malkani There are bad movies.  There are stupid movies.  There are shitty movies.  There are awful movies.  And there is Philippe Martinez’s THE CHAOS EXPERIMENT, which is an awful shitty, awful stupid, awful bad movie.  And I’d say that’s an awful shame because it has Eric Roberts, […]

NATURE’S GRAVE, Review.

Directed by Jamie Blanks, 2009 Written by Everett De Roche These are some expanded thoughts from this mini-review at HorrorSquad. I haven’t seen LONG WEEKEND, Colin Eggleston’s original 1974 Ozploitation film about a couple who venture into the wild for a few days only to discover that Mother Nature’s creatures great and small don’t take […]

NEAR DARK, Review: A Year in Film.

Directed by Kathryn Bigelow, 1987 Written by Kathryn Bigelow and Eric Red Welcome back to AYIF.  Today I am watching a cult classic vampire film from the 1980′s.  One of my favorite movies of all time is THE LOST BOYS (another film of this ilk) and I long ago added NEAR DARK to my must-see […]

THIRST, Review – Easy Contender for Best of ’09.

Directed by Chan-wook Park, 2009 Written by Seo-Gyeong Jeong, Chan-wook Park When I bought my wife’s engagement ring I was in over my head.  I knew nothing about rings, I knew nothing about diamonds and I knew nothing about purchasing a ring with a diamond in it.  She gave me a list of what to […]

TERROR TRAIN, Review.

Directed by Roger Spottiswoode, 1980 Written by T.Y. Drake If you take a look back at the statistics regarding leading causes of teenage and young adult deaths in the year 1980 you’re likely going to see something like the following: Motor Vehicle Accidents Firearms Secondary role in a Jamie Lee Curtis film Malignant Neoplasm Befriending […]

ORPHAN, Review. – Adam’s Take.

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, 2009 Written by David Johnson, Story by Alex Mace Have you ever experienced a situation where your preconceptions about something are shattered, only to have the pieces put back together again with the cracks visible?  Like walking into an elementary school classroom and hearing the teacher shout obscenities, only to find […]

BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974), AYIF Review.

Directed by Bob Clark, 1979 Written by Roy Moore Welcome back to AYIF.  Today’s film epitomizes why I started this project in the first place: to mine obscurity and strike paydirt!  I love horror films and have since I was a kid.  While I have grown to be picky, even a bit snobby, on the […]

THE COLLECTOR, Review – American Horror Worth Championing.

Directed by Marcus Dunstan, 2009 Written by Marcus Dunstan & Patrick Melton If we’re going on track records alone, I’m not the kind of person who should be cheerleading THE COLLECTOR.  I’m rather indifferent to the first FEAST, but don’t care for the sequels.  I stopped being interested in the SAW franchise after part two, […]

BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006), Review.

Directed by Glen Morgan, 2006 Written by Glen Morgan, Roy Moore (1974 Screen Play) I’m really curious how this current generation of minors turns out, assuming that they also stay up late to watch R-Rated films past their bedtime.  I was one of those kids roughly fifteen years ago and I stayed up into the […]

ALICE JACOBS IS DEAD, Review.

Written and Directed by Alex Horwitz, 2009 In the not too distant future the self explanatory Z-virus has swept the globe, nearly claiming all of civilization until Dr. Ben Jacobs (John La Zar) discovers the miracle cure.  Masses of undead are under control, all that remains are a few stragglers immune to Dr. Jacobs’ treatment, […]

THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT, Review – Editing Room Scares for Kids.

Directed by Peter Cornwell, 2009 Written by Adam Simon & Tim Metcalfe I could recommend THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT to any 13 year old boy or girl.  I stress that I could make such a recommendation, but I don’t know any 13 year olds and even if I did, I’m not sure I’d want to […]

FRAGMENT (Novel) Review – Science to the Side, Monsters to the Max!

Written by Warren Fahy, 2009 It is a reluctant way to start a review talking about what something isn’t, but this is bugging me.  I’ve seen it in almost all of the reviews.  It was what drove me to read FRAGMENT, a debut novel from newcomer Warren Fahy, in the first place.  But it’s just […]

BioShock (Video Game) Review

Bioshock Developed By: 2K Games Published By: 2K Games “Welcome to Rapture” Never before have I seen a tagline to anything emanate more truth than BIOSHOCK’s. Rapture, an underwater city of the genetically damned with a chilling sensation that never relents with every single crafted item enforces the sensation and I mean everything. BIOSHOCK may […]

DOG SOLDIERS Review – (AYIF)

Written and Directed by Neil Marshall, 2002 Welcome back to AYIF.  Werewolves are classic horror film fare.  A bestial throwback to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with cultural variations appearing on multiple continents.  I will not feign expertise on the subject because, with the film incarnations, my experience is limited.  But I am aware of […]

Review: SAND SERPENTS

Directed by Jeff Renfroe, 2009 Written by Raul Inglis When the Sci-Fi Channel announced a campaign to re-brand itself as Syfy even non-fans scoffed at the silly name change.  When a representative for the network was asked on Twitter why the change was made and how it would impact programming, the official answer was, “Syfy […]

Review: DEAD SNOW

Directed by Tommy Wirkola, 2009 Written by Tommy Wirkola, Stig Frode Henriksen DEAD SNOW could have been great.  DEAD SNOW should have been great.  Sadly all the couldas and the shouldas and the good intentions don’t change the final product. Half of it is a good horror, the other half plagued by pesky things like […]

Review: The Conduit (Video Game)

The Conduit Developer(s) High Voltage Software Publisher(s) Sega It’s the game Wii owners have been salivating for since E3 2008, proudly boasting that THE CONDUIT is the best first-person shooter for the Wii and will pave the way for future games utilizing what they have accomplished. It’s a pretty big claim and for better or […]

AYIF Review: HATCHET

Written and Directed by Adam Green, 2006 Today I will be watching a film that was a real darling at Fantastic Fest III, the first I ever attended.  Unfortunately I missed it because I didn’t arrive until day three.  I had heard a lot of people talking about this and how much they liked it, […]

Review: DEADGIRL

Directed by Marcel Sarmiento and Gadi Harel, 2008 Written by Trent Haaga Before watching DEADGIRL I was reading a recap at EvilOnTwoLegs.com of Fangoria’s most recent Weekend of Horrors in NYC.  Jon was recounting actors and directors across multiple panels who all lamented America’s new remake fueled industry, an industry that leaves no room for […]

Review: F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin (Video Game)

F.E.A.R. 2: PROJECT ORIGIN Developed by Monolith Productions Published by Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment Being a fan of the original F.E.A.R. (and to a lesser extent, the two non-canon expansions) I was fairly excited for this sequel. The original F.E.A.R. accomplished a lot in terms of the tech, combat, and the level of terror, which […]

Review: COMING SOON

Written and Directed by Sopon Sukdapisit, 2008 It’s no secret that I am partial to Thai horror.   Because the US has no counterpart to it, I envy the genuine superstition for the afterlife found in Thai culture.  We have no nation spanning fears of spirits, which is precisely why American horror pales in the ghost […]

Review: DRAG ME TO HELL

Directed by Sam Raimi, 2009 Written by Sam Raimi & Ivan Raimi Better late than never. Right? DRAG ME TO HELL, in theory, is a good movie, but as with all theory, scrutiny, minimal it may be, is required before theory metabolizes into law.  In theory, this is Sam Raimi’s return to horror, a technically […]

Review: SILENT VENOM

Directed by Fred Olen Ray, 2009 Written by Mark Sanderson I am a man of refined tastes possessing a palette more exacting than a green lazer straight from Laser Cove, but, alas, I am still just a man.  Soft bits wrapped around hard bits with chemistry connecting it all.  Who am I to resist a […]

Review: Lux Pain (Video Game)

Lux Pain Developed by Killaware Published by Ignition Entertainment Lux Pain is one of those games with a hollowed out and rotten trunk that has some fairly interesting aspects branch off. Unfortunately, it’s not bugs and execution that bog Lux Pain down; it is the simple fact that Lux should have not been a game; […]

Review: PONTYPOOL

Directed by Bruce McDonald, 2009 Written by Tony Burgess Few works evoke a compliment as endearing as calling something Cronenbergian.  A comparison to the great director (my favorite director still working today, for disclosure purposes) is not one I make lightly, but even without a single element of body horror, early Cronenberg is precisely what […]

Review: THE UNINVITED (2009)

Directed by Charles Guard and Thomas Guard, 2009 Written by Craig Rosenberg and Doug Miro based on A TALE OF TWO SISTERS In an recent response to my original dismissal of Fox television show “FRINGE”, a reader pointed out that I should factor in the general population’s narrowed intake of Science Fiction instead of comparing […]

Review: THE BURROWERS

Written and Directed by J.T. Petty, 2008 It took a movie about subterranean carnivores to dig me out of the sodding horror rut of spring.  I’m kind of geeking out right now, as a matter of record. The past three or so weeks have found the playlist slogged with amateur productions possessing a death grip […]

THE UNBORN (as a Text Based Adventure).

Written and Directed by David S. Goyer, 2009 You have nothing else to do. ] Watch movie What movie would you like to watch? ] THE UNBORN Are you sure? ] Yes. I’ve heard it is pretty awful. ] Watch THE UNBORN Okay, but remember, you did this to yourself. … You are an attractive […]

GUEST REVIEW: RESIDENT EVIL 5 (XBOX 360/PS3)

Published and Developed by Capcom, 2009 It has been about four years since the near-masterpiece RESIDENT EVIL 4 hit shelves and changed the series and the entire survival horror genre (for better or worse).  Leaps and bounds were made in terms of combat and pacing, replacing most of the puzzles and backtracking with faster paced […]

Review: THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (2009)

Directed by Dennis Iliadis, 2009 Written by Adam Alleca and Carl Ellsworth Remakes are a funny thing.  No one asks for them.  In fact, we all complain about them.  When they’re at their worst, remakes inspire more vitriol from fans than any other breed of film within the genre.  When they’re at their best, we […]

Review: MARTYRS

Written and Directed by Pascal Laugier, 2008 Watching MARTYRS is like staring into a blast furnace.  Pascal Laugier’s film is a smoldering cell of anger and heat and hate and marvel.  It’s difficult to watch head on and downright painful to endure over time.  To be honest the experience is one I hesitate to recommend.  […]

Guest Music Review: Wrath, Lamb of God

This review is brought to you by Randy Mull, whose not even one year old son is more metal than you are.  Previous reviews: Death Magnetic, The Crucible of Man. Lamb of God Wrath Rating 6 of 10 Bonus Tracks Go to 11 It is official, with the release of Wrath, Virginia metal heavyweights Lamb […]

Review: ALIEN RAIDERS

Directed by Ben Rock, 2008 Written by Julia Fair, David Simkins I suppose I could listen to the audio commentary that director Ben Rock posted online not too long ago and find an answer, but I wonder if the original script for ALIEN RAIDERS bore the same title.  Even if it was intentional, a moniker […]

Review: FRITT VILT (COLD PREY)

Directed by Roar Uthaug, 2006 Written by Thomas Moldestad and Roar Uthaug There is an implacable aura to COLD PREY other modern slashers may not find relief in purely because it is Norwegian.  Not that Roar Uthaug’s film (top that name, by the way; I feel manlier just saying it out loud) gains any particular […]

Movies I Quit: MY NAME IS BRUCE

MY NAME IS BRUCE, Directed by Bruce Campbell, Written by Mark Verheiden, 2007 Quitting Time: 20 minutes?  Exactly when Bruce had a finger knuckle deep in his nose. Can we all just agree that MY NAME IS BRUCE doesn’t exist?  I don’t want to live in a world where this is the directorial culmination of […]

Review: SPLINTER

Directed by Toby Wilkins, 2008 Written by Kai Barry, Ian Shorr SPLINTER is the most frustrating horror film of 2008.  Kair Barry and Ian Shorr’s script has interesting material, but it is Toby Wilkins direction of said sequences that makes SPLINTER borderline intolerable. I love independent horror.  I love the resourcefulness of filmmakers who ebb […]

Review: FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)

Directed by Marcus Nispel, 2009 Written by Damian Shannon & Mark Swift Given its pedigree, a 2009 remake of FRIDAY THE 13TH need only succeed by not disrespecting the brand.  No Jason talking, no Jason made of metal, just Jason sticking a machete (or whatever he can find) into a batch of attractive college co-eds.  […]

Review: TIMBER FALLS

Directed by Tony Giglio, 2007 Written by Daniel Kay TIMBER FALLS is an overall decent City Folk Shouldn’t Go Hiking flick with the potential to have been better were it not bookended by arguably the most over exposed horror set-up there is.  An attractive couple chipper enough to take a weekend long hike in the […]

Movies I Quit: RED MIST

RED MIST, Directed by Paddy Breathnach, 2008 Quitting time: About 35 minutes in. I set out to see RED MIST purely because I wanted to know if Paddy Breathnach’s bumbling of the potentially kick ass SHROOMS was a fluke.  A movie about twenty-something’s who go out into a swamp to chew down some brain magic […]

Review: MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D

Directed by Patrick Lussier, 2009 Written by Todd Farmer and Zane Smith I’m not of the crowd that believes a movie – any movie, not just MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D – is campy or corny or popcorn or fluff and that it is a requirement of the viewer to turn off some theoretical switch in […]

Review: 100 FEET

Written and Directed by Eric Red, 2008 Having just been released from the pen for murdering her abusive husband Mike, Marnie (Famke Janssen) begins her final year of servitude by way of house arrest.  Should she stray more than the titular distance from her ankle monitor’s base unit in the center of her Brooklyn brownstone, […]

Horror 2008, a Retrospective: Part 5, News & Events

Not necessairly the most important headlines of 2008 (yes, the writer’s strike ended), rather the, “Oh, I remember that” variety.  Note there is no chronological order to the listing of these events, the majority of which are derived from the creation/cessation of various production houses with the potential to shape the horror flow for the […]

Review: EDEN LAKE

Written and Directed by James Watkins, 2008 More and more I find myself musing, “Now normally I don’t like movies about a couple being tortured in the woods, but…” It has gotten to the point where I wonder if I do harbor some undeclared love for pieces of garbage.  Then along comes a film like […]

Review: WIND CHILL

Directed by Gregory Jacobs, 2007 Written by Joe Gangemi & Steven Katz It has been so long since I’ve reviewed anything, I, for a second, forgot how to format these things.  One may have grown to expect the return would bring in hand an extraordinary, hidden horror elixir.  One is now disappointed.  Congratulations!  We have […]

Horror 2008, a Retrospective: Part 4, October to December

Not much to say other than enjoy Part Four of Horror’s Not Dead’s 2008 Retrospective.  Wasn’t a bad year, but now that all the major titles are in it, it wasn’t, as I like to say, good sex. Part 1: January to March. Part 2: April to June. Part 3: July to September. Part 4: […]

Horror 2008, a Retrospective: Part 3, July to September

July to September, always anemic pre-Halloween hump for horror to get over.  Two thousand and eight twas no different. Part 1: January to March. Part 2: April to June. Part 3: July to September. Part 4: October to December. Part 5: Events. Part 6: Awards. (coming)

Horror 2008, a Retrospective: Part 2, April to June

Not much to say other than enjoy Part Two of Horror’s Not Dead’s 2008 Retrospective, Festivus celebrating extravaganza. Oh, and Happy Kwanzaa. Part 1: January to March. Part 2: April to June. Part 3: July to September. Part 4: October to December. Part 5: Events. Part 6: Awards. (coming)

Horror 2008, a Retrospective: Part 1, January to March

Part 1: January to March. Part 2: April to June. Part 3: July to September. Part 4: October to December. Part 5: Events. Part 6: Awards. (coming) This was fun.  I set off to do a roundup of 2008′s horror output, good and bad, and ended up with a rather nice guide, a work in […]

Review: TIMECRIMES (Los Cronocrímenes)

Written and Directed by Nacho Vigalondo, 2007 Time travel is a hobby of mine. Well, in theory. Whether approaching it with the mind of a scientist or the mind of a storyteller, it is the ultimate logic puzzle.  The intricacies of cause and effect across multiple planes of existence, the construction (and, conversely, deconstruction) of […]

Review: S&MAN

Directed by J.T. Petty, 2006 A documentary from director/fan J.T. Petty about the underground horror world and its seedy denizens, S&MAN is a sobering look under the toenails of the biggest elephant in our room:  There is a subset of horror, ‘the kind you can’t get at Best Buy’, that is nasty, mean spirited, pushy […]

Review: LEFT 4 DEAD (PC) – Peter’s Take

Published by Valve, 2008 I realize there has been dearth of horror movie reviews on this site of late.  I could blame the onset of winter months, which are the weakest weeks of the year as far as horror is concerned, but that would be a scapegoat.  I was out of the country for a […]

REVIEW – LEFT 4 DEAD (PC) – Matt’s Take

LEFT 4 DEAD Produced and Developed by Valve Corporation Given my recent reviews and trailer impressions, it seems only fitting a zombie apocalypse game should come around that I get to review. Being a PC gamer, there is some bias in favor of Valve and everything they make. Ask any PC Gamer and they will […]

Review: SHARK IN VENICE

Directed by Danny Lerner, 2008 Written by Les Weldon I cannot review SHARK IN VENICE so much as I can form sentences under a headline that categorizes said words as a review.  Danny Lerner’s 84 minutes of strung together visuals do not qualify as a film.  To be fair, I have no clue what they […]

Review – Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition (Video Game)

Published and Developed by Capcom. 2005 I can remember when I first saw the E3 videos for RESIDENT EVIL 4. Leon Kennedy was walking in a mansion when a humanoid apparition appeared before him, chasing him out of the room. While the first videos had their freaky moments, I still sighed. The concept of ghosts […]

Review: “DEAD SET”

Created by Charlie Brooker, 2008 “DEAD SET” may be one of my favorite horror productions of 2008 if only because it would never exist in the United States.  Shot, cast and set largely in and around the “BIG BROTHER” house in England, “DEAD SET” is a five part miniseries chronicling a zombie apocalypse whose eve […]

Review: LET THE RIGHT ONE IN

Directed by Tomas Alfredson, 2008 Written by John Ajvide Lindqvist from his novel Knowing what is left to come and what has come before, I can’t imagine any film this year better equipped to touch quickened hearts, arrest lungs and widen minds than LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. There is a reason Tomas Alfredson’s film […]

Review: THE SUBSTITUTE (aka VIKAREN)

Directed by Ole Bornedal, 2007 Written by Ole Bornedal, Henrik Prip There is a lot in this world I do not have a full grasp of.  Quantum computing, fluid dynamics, the undetermined arrival of The Singularity, chirality, and John McCain.  But the angry living dead aside, there is much I have taken the reins on, […]

Review: SAW V

Directed by David Hackl, 2008 Written by Patrick Melton & Marcus Dunstan Due to an obscene obligation to see every horror movie that comes out theatrically within the first week of release, SAW V has the honor of being the first of the SAW films I’ve seen in theater. Due to the obscene awfulness of […]

Review: Dead Rising (Video Game)

Developed and produced by Capcom 2006. I have a confession.  If a game has zombies, odds are I am going to like it. If the game gives me the opportunity to shoot said zombies, odds are I am going to love it.  Thus I am lucky that Capcom loves killing zombies as much as I […]

Review: DANCE OF THE DEAD

Directed by Gregg Bishop, 2008 Written by Joe Ballarini DANCE OF THE DEAD will charm the zombie hell out of you.  That’s a one sentence, back-of-the-box review if I’ve ever seen one.  And for the record, I have. See it, enjoy it.  ‘Tis a rather linear experiment, really.  If you do step one, you’ll arrive […]

Reviews: DEAD SPACE (Video Game)

No, that is not a typo in the title, for the first time ever HND has multiple reviews for the same item.  Today we talk DEAD SPACE, a survival horror video game on 360, PS3 and PC from Electronic Arts.  I’ve always wanted to have multiple perspectives on the same thing run at the same […]

Review: QUARANTINE

Directed by John Erick Dowdle, 2008 Written by John Erick Dowdle & Drew Dowdle, based on 2007′s [REC] QUARANTINE is nothing to me but a surrogate for everything wrong with Hollywood horror.  Production began on it before [REC] had even left post-production in its native Spain, which may just be a world record for fastest […]

Guest Review: TRICK ‘R TREAT

Review written by R. J. Sayer, a very angry, vulgar, perfunctory but damn insightful fellow.  I’m busy as hell and rushing off to the Renaissance Festival for the day, so I haven’t even read this raving endorsement yet, but I couldn’t wait. Written and Directed by Michael Dougherty, 2008 I’m going to try and keep […]

Guest Music Review: Metallica – Death Magnetic

I know, I know.  I was supposed to have MetalsNotDead.com up for Randy by the end of September.  I done got busy.  Enjoy: Review: Metallica – Death Magnetic, by Randy Mull Rating 8.5/10 I must preface the review of this album with the fact that I’ve been a fan of Metallica since the ripe old […]

Review: MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN

Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, 2008 Written by Jeff Buhler; shory story by Clive Barker Theatrical delay after delay found Lionsgate dumping MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN first run in small town dollar theaters, a marketing move about as lucrative as rainbow insurance.  I’m told by Hal Masonberg, who still has a Clive Barker involved film languishing in […]

Review: SPIRIT TRAP

Directed by David Smith, 2005 Written by Phil O’Shea If I’m going to keep watching such mediocre ninety-ish minutes of trapped time, I need to at least watch high concept mediocrity.  SPIRIT TRAP’s plot is as salient as a cobweb on a glass case of cobwebs nestled within a Cobweb Museum.  If that isn’t bad […]

Review: UNEARTHED

Written and Directed by Matthew Leutwyler, 2007 There is nothing worse than a creature feature unfit to even be considered a Sci-Fi channel original film.  Or so I thought right up to 93 minutes ago, when I elected to watch UNEARTHED on FearNET HD On-Demand.  Turns out the pain from said creature feature stings all […]

Review: WHITE NOISE 2: THE LIGHT

Directed by Patrick Lussier, 2007 Written by Matt Venne I’ve never seen the Michael Keaton starring WHITE NOISE nor do I know much about it other than his wife dies and then TVs start to yell at him.  Or maybe it was his radio.  I don’t know, I just heard it sucked so I never […]

Review: HANSEL & GRETEL

Directed by Pil-Sung Yim, 2007 Written Pil-Sung Yim, Min-sook Kim I once suckled on the cinematic teet of Asia.  Dramas, romantic comedies, action, horror – I was all over it.  Three years later, I’m all but over it.  I wish I knew whether it was me or the movies that changed, but they just don’t […]

Guest Music Review: ICED EARTH – THE CRUCIBLE OF MAN (SOMETHING WICKED PART 2)

I’ve prefaced this before, but just in case we’ll go around again.  A one Randall Mull, a man whose office I visit often throughout the day when trying to avoid doing work of my own, happens to have dual hobbies of metal and writing.  One day we were joking about my site, as it is […]

Impressions: “TRUE BLOOD”

Created by Alan Ball, 2008 Pilot episode STRANGE LOVE Written and Directed by Alan Ball HBO doesn’t make bad shows.  Mind you the bar may not always lock up a notch, but a bad show they’ve never put to series.  After the pilot episode, my personal jury is still out on whether they’ve raised the […]

Guest Review: CRIMSON RIVERS and RESURRECTION

The first, and possibly the only, guest review(s) submitted to the site while I am away in Qatar.  Dueling thoughts below from reader Brian on the 1999 flick RESURRECTION and 2000′s CRIMSON RIVERS.  So, enjoy his straight-to-the point thoughts while I’m away. PS.  So far I’ve caught SEVERANCE and FEAST on Arabic TV, maybe the […]

Review: THE GIRLS REBEL FORCE OF COMPETITIVE SWIMMERS

Directed by Kôji Kawano, 2007 Written by Satoshi Ôwada Do not be deceived by the title of the year: THE GIRLS REBEL FORCE OF COMPETITIVE SWIMMERS.  Do not be deceived by a cover featuring swimsuit clad girls holding baseball bats and chainsaws.  Do not be deceived when I say that GIRLS REBEL FORCE features a […]

Review: MIRRORS

Directed by Alexandre Aja, 2008 Written by Alexandre Aja & Grégory Levasseur, based on INTO THE MIRROR Looking into mirrors we tend to only see our flaws reflected back.  Not me of course.  I am a fucking Adonis, but I understand the effect self inspection has on normal people.  How appropriate, then, that when we […]

Review: BARTHOLOMEW OF THE SCISSORS #1 (Comic)

Written by Chad Helder, 2008 Art by Daniel Crosier BARTHOLOMEW OF THE SCISSORS is not your average off the shelf comic.  For one, and I suppose this should be a point of disclosure, its creator and writer is Chad Helder of Unspeakable Horror, a fellow blogging member of the League of Tana Tea Drinkers.  For […]

Mini-Impressions: “PRIMEVAL” – Pilot

Created by Tim Haines, Adrian Hodges, 2007 No, this is not a series version of the passable giant crocodile film of the same name.  “PRIMEVAL” is a British Sci-Fi series from 2007 already in its second season across the pond.  Here in the colonies, however, BBC America is just now airing the first season.  Taking […]

Review: STARSHIP TROOPERS 3: MARAUDER

Written and Directed by Edward Neumeier, 2008 I’m sure there is someone out there who is a greater STARSHIP TROOPERS fan than I, who has a replica ‘Death From Above’ tattoo on their right bicep, but this clay tablet remains; before undergoing eye surgery, I chose STARSHIP TROOPERS to be the last film I potentially […]

Review: “FEAR ITSELF” – IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH

Directed by John Landis, 2008 Written by Victor Salva Is it fair to say that John Landis has fallen from grace?  Judging from his episode of “FEAR ITSELF”, yes.  Yes. Far, far from grace.  Eons from grace.  Fallen through time, through space, to some twilit zone where Landis is a sleep walking, brain dead, unoriginal, […]

Review: BRAINSCAN

Directed by John Flynn, 1994 Written by Andrew Kevin Walker, story by Brian Owens Some jackass hack named Andrew Kevin Walker has been hounding me in the comment section to review BRAINSCAN, “his 1994 mind-bending masterpiece starring Eddie Furlong”.  I’d never heard of it until old Andy poked his persistent finger in my side again […]

Review: UNTRACEABLE

Directed by Gregory Hoblit, 2008 Written by Robert Fyvolent, Mark Brinker, Allison Burnett UNTRACEABLE is 4th rate direction scattered with 2nd rate actors giving 3rd rate performances of a 5th rate script.  But until BRAINSCAN comes in from Netflix, I suppose it will suffice as something to review. A horror movie in the most watered […]

Review: ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE

Directed by Jonathan Levine, 2006 Written by Jacob Forman It is no secret that I’ve been tracking ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE for years now.  Literally years.  On multiple occasions I’ve lambasted Senator International for withholding the film from the US (it has not only played internationally, but is available elsewhere at retail before […]

Review: ROGUE

Written and Directed by Greg Mclean, 2007 Giant crocodile movies are a dime a dozen and for a simple reason; they’re easy.  The nature of the animal covers the majority of elements for you.  It can go on land and can vanish in the water.  Long rows of jagged teeth, scaly skin and a realistic […]

Review: DREAMCATCHER

Directed by Lawrence Kasdan 2003 Written by Lawrence Kasdan, William Goldman based on Stephen King’s novel There are people who love this movie.  Fans  of it band together like outcasts.  There are also battalions more who despise it, who wish it cancer.  Of this hate I am not unsympathetic.  Not that I actively like the […]

Review: NIGHTSCARES (aka BEYOND BEDLAM)

Directed by Vadim Jean, 1994 Written by Vadim Jean, based on the novel by John Brosnan NIGHTSCARES opens with long pans of the exterior of an apartment building inter-cut with long holds on the faces of people sleeping. This sequence is followed immediately by Craig Fairbrass as the worst cop ever (which makes him the […]

Mini-Review: “FEAR ITSELF” – FAMILY MAN

Directed by Ronny Yu, 2008 Written by Daniel Knauf Now here we go.  The early reviews of “FEAR ITSELF” all indicated that the show failed to kick off until episode three.  The early reviews were right.  FAMILY MAN, written by “CARNIVALE” creator and scribe Daniel Knauf, has an excellent script tailored specifically for the rise […]

Mini-Review: “FEAR ITSELF” – SPOOKED

Directed by Brad Anderson, 2008 Written by Matt Venne Brad Anderson is a name that bodes much hook with me.  He is a director whose television stints on “THE WIRE” and “SURFACE” are work I’ll go out of my way to detour for, so I feel fortunate when his job falls in line with my […]

Review: DEVOUR

Directed by David Winkler, 2005 Written by Adam Gross, Seth Gross The stuff found trawling through On Demand. The plot description spoke of a deadly online game. The cast list included Jensen Ackles, Shannyn Sossamon, Dominique Swain and “Bill Sadler”. The running time was 90 minutes, a perfect match for the 90 minutes I was […]

Review: THE HAPPENING

Written and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan, 2008 Last week’s Science Friday on NPR featured an interview with M. Night regarding THE HAPPENING. It wasn’t a bad interview and Shyamalan was his usual enthusiastic self, that is until host Ira Flatow asked Shyamalan if he, and I’m paraphrasing here, ‘liked the ending of his movie’. […]

Review: “FEAR ITSELF” – THE SACRIFICE

Directed by Breck Eisner, 2008 Written by Mick Garris from a Del Howison short story I am all about serialized, non-contiguous horror. I dig standalone storytelling and the familiar face bit casting, so I feel the ageless form always has a place on television. If we are judging from a first episode basis, however, that […]

Review: SUMMER OF NIGHT (Novel)

Written by Dan Simmons, 1991 There is an unexpected advantage to being my age. I’ve been around, sure, but there is still so much outside my footprint. I’ve got feelers out everywhere, normally yielding at least a geographical plotting of everything in the arena even if I never take he/she/it one on one, but from […]

Review: THE STRANGERS

Written and Directed by Bryan Bertino, 2008 Wrong people conducting a wrong focus group comprised of more wrong people. Why else would Rogue Pictures show zero confidence in their product, relegating it to some cobwebbed shelf in a warehouse for a year and a half, letting no less than two officially announced release dates slip […]

Review: LAZER GHOSTS 2: RETURN TO LASER COVE

Written and Directed by Steven Kostanski, 2008 Einstein is back from the dead again(!) in LAZER GHOSTS 2: RETURN TO LASER COVER, a timeless 2008 sequel to Canadian auteur Steven Kostanski’s own groundvaporizing subversive classic. Our unsung hero of heroes Trance (Matthew Kennedy) is still shaken up over the death of his best friend Bennedict […]

Guest Review: THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD

I normally do not introduce Sayer’s reviews, but I must say that I recommend reading this one in full. It is long; like Dirk Diggler long, but much so worth it. And for that reason I am publishing it earlier than his other reviews. That and I’ll be vacationing in Austin this weekend, so no […]

Review: DIARY OF THE DEAD

Written and Directed by George A. Romero, 2007 I cringe thinking it. I cringe. And yet the thought is no longer figurative, but empirical. A chain of words that have lost their requirement for a question mark at the end: George A. Romero is no longer relevant. Cringe. I don’t think it is particularly good, […]

Review: FRONTIER(S)

Written and Directed by Xavier Gens, 2007 Perfect timing for me to appear hypocritical over two superficially similar French flicks. I lauded the shallow film INSIDE despite being a gore show with nary a story to tell and I am now going to proceed to, um, non-laud FRONTIER(S) for being a gore show with nary […]

Guest Review: THE KINDRED

Guest Review by R.J. Sayer Directed by Stephen Carpenter and Jeffrey Obrow, 1987 Written by Stephen Carpenter, Earl Ghaffari, Jeffrey Obrow, John Penney, Joseph Stefano One of the biggest challenges to a horror geek, whether writing a review or simply describing a film to a friend who’s never seen it, is resisting the temptation to […]

Review: TEETH

Written and Directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein, 2007 It took three years for the world over to generate a peer to Edgar Wright’s unassailable masterpiece SHAUN OF THE DEAD. The time is finally upon us and it is with a wave of relief that I am honored to declare a heroic cohort in the horror comedy […]

Review: INSIDE

Directed by Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury, 2007 Written by Alexandre Bustillo Centerfold to French horror nu-waver-cum-2007-fest-favorite INSIDE is, well, a festival of gore the crimson of which you’ve likely not seen in a while. I am normally not wont to praise a film whose visual brutality takes precedent over story, but there is an […]

Guest Review: ANGUISH

Review by R. J. Sayer Directed by Bigas Luna, 1987 Written by Eva Lesmes, Bigas Luna, Michael Berlin Like many horror geeks, I practically grew up in Video Stores. And like many of the visitors to this site – I assume, anyway – I would spend eons in the horror section just gazing with awe […]

Review: INVASION

Directed by Albert Pyun, 2005 Written by Cynthia Curnan This INVASION film spent years under the title INFECTION before its US DVD release. I am not sure why the name was changed. I feel that INFECTION and INVASION are both capable of referring to extra terrestrial maladies, yet neither is any more original or any […]

Review: THE MESSENGERS

Directed by Danny Pang, Oxide Pang Chun, 2007 Written by Mark Wheaton, Todd Farmer Several months ago I woke up in the middle of the night with an inexplicable (read: alcohol) sickness in my stomach that begged my digestive track to be free of its gastric prison. I awoke in that all too familiar breed […]

Review: CAMPFIRE TALES

Directed by Matt Cooper, Martin Kunert, David Semel, 1997 Written by Martin Kunert, Eric Manes, Matt Cooper How does one review a piece of horror best described as cute? I’ve got no problems with CAMPFIRE TALES, which may as well be the Showtime version of “ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?”. I’m sure they had […]

Review: [REC]

Directed by Jaume Balagueró, Paco Plaza, 2007 Written by Jaume Balagueró, Luis Berdejo, Paco Plaza There is a cold efficiency to [REC] that I never imagined I would admire from a film. It has no character development. None whatsoever. Zip. Zero. Nunca. [REC] is a conveyor belt horror film, a linear path one steps on […]

Review: Prom Night

Directed by Nelson McCormick, 2008 Written by J.S. Cardone Normally if I’m going to oblige my ‘review all theatrical releases’ rule for something I care nothing about, I’ll go early Saturday morning in order to reward the film as little of my dollar as possible. This time, however, Christine, my fiance, knew from my ranting […]

Review: The Last Winter

Directed by Larry Fessenden, 2006 Written by Larry Fessenden, Robert Leaver It is only natural that out of the current political climate of buzz words and fought-over science a new niche would evolve; eco-horror. Not too much of it has hit film yet, but mark my words; it will. Unfortunately for director Larry Fessenden, THE […]

Review: The Ruins

Directed by Carter Smith, 2008 Written by Scott B. Smith I hope with desperation that THE RUINS does well at the box office. DreamWorks, Red Hour Films and Spyglass Entertainment deserve the financial reward. Carter Smith, Scott B. Smith and the film’s five producers deserve the commercial approval, which is the only approval the studio […]

Review: Funny Games U.S.

Written and Directed by Michael Haneke, 2008 Michael Haneke is a difficult filmmaker for me to review.  The man is a dense master worthy of the Kubrick comparison ax.  He can cut a scene like no ones business and he can stretch a take to the limit and beyond.  His rapport with actors is boundless, […]

Review: Rock Monster

Directed by Declan O’Brien, 2008Written by Berkeley Anderson, Ron Fernandez I’ll never forget a quiz from a geology lesson in a sixth grade science class.  One question stands out to this day; "What is the difference between a rock and a mineral?"  Faced with such a diabolical question, the girl to my left – I’ve […]

Review: Saw IV

Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2008Written by Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan I am writing this review on my cellphone*.  Why?  Well, because my computer is upstairs and I am downstairs, but I also find no evidence to believe the screenwriters of SAW IV used a real word processor, either, so it seems an appropriate fit.  […]

Review: Storm Warning

Directed by Jamie Blanks, 2007Written by Everett De Roche I’ve been circling STORM WARNING for weeks now, always suggesting to watch it, always finding an excuse not to, often landing on the knowledge it was made by the guy who did URBAN LEGEND. The IMDb plot description did little more to muster interest, "A yuppie […]

Review: Hostel: Part II

Written and Directed by Eli Roth, 2007 Are you or have you ever been a dog owner?  Has said dog ever had problems with diarrhea?  Were you relieved when he or she returned to depositing firm mounds?  If yes, Congratulations, you can now relate to what HOSTEL: PART 2 is! Is it appropriate to commend […]

Review: The Signal

Written and Directed by David Bruckner, Jacob Gentry, Dan Bush 2007 THE SIGNAL is a janitor at MIT who spends evenings with a mop in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other, casually redoing mathematical formulas on blackboards.  Except THE SIGNAL is no wunderkind.  No Ivy Leaguer should be fooled, no matter […]

Review: Right at Your Door

Written and Directed by Chris Gorak, 2007 I’ve always lamented that we Americans have no iconic cultural fears. Asian countries have cornered the market on ghost films because of genuine, widespread reservations about the after life and trapped spirits. Saying the word Chupacabra out loud in select Latin American countries is akin to inviting the […]

Review: Croc

Directed by Stewart Raffill, 2007Written by Ken Solarz Put a bullet in the brain pan of any standing objectives planned for today. Obtain Croc. Netflix it. Blockbuster it. Go to Best Buy and steal it. Obtain Croc. Also obtain a platitude of alcohol of choice as well as friends to consume both with. Make no […]

Review: Mulberry Street

Directed by Jim Mickle, 2007Written by Nick Damici and Jim Mickle Hand picked for last year’s After Dark Horrorfest, Mulberry Street – the epileptic feature film debut of  Jim Mickle – features rats in Manhattan biting people and, by process of an unaccountable plot, turning the infected into ‘roided up rat-esque creatures. Set in and […]

Review: The Eye (2008)

Directed by David Moreau, Xavier Palud 2008Written by Sebastian Gutierrez; original screenplay by Jo Jo Yuet-chun Hui & the Pang Brothers I did not want to see The Eye, nor do I now particularly want to write about it. The whole thing is an issue of non-importance, like the election of School Board officials. In […]

Mini-Review!: Murder Party

I introduce to you, intrepid and sexy reader, the Mini-Review!  We pour through quite the volume of film each week and while I’d love to write a lengthy review for everything, truth is a lot of the time the magic don’t muster.  Times it be the dreaded block of the writer, other times I can’t […]

Review: Ghost Voyage

Directed by James Oxford, 2008Written by (IMDB doesn’t even know) I would like to pretend that I Tivo’ed this past Saturday’s Sci-Fi channel premiere film, Ghost Voyage, as a lark. Please, grant me that fantasy. Ignore the reality. Ignore that we watched this as it aired, which is to say we watched the death of […]

Review: The Long Walk (Novel)

Written by Stephen King as Richard Bachman, 1979 Stephen King’s publishing pseudonym was created because, presumably, the public would not accept an author who published more than one novel per year. Thus Richard Bachman was created, an alter-ego that allowed King’s market output to keep pace with the author’s throughput. Bachman was also the mouthpiece […]

Review: Tremors 4: The Legend Begins

Directed by S.S. Wilson, 2004Teleplay by Scott Buck Tremors 4: The Legend begins, which is set in 1899 and still manages to star franchise stalwart Michael Gross as an ancestor of NRA loving Burt, is better than you’d expect from the third in a sporadic trickle of straight-to-DVD sequels. Take this not as a sound […]

Review: Cloverfield

Directed by Matt Reeves, 2007Written by Drew Goddard The bittersweet truth of Cloverfield is that the fans were right and the filmmakers were wrong half-right. With the materialization of a vague teaser trailer before Transformers, JJ Abrams opened the gates to an empty amusement park and proceeded to tell no one what they were allowed […]

Review: The Orphanage (El Orfanato)

Directed by Juan Antonio Bayona, 2007Written by Sergio G. Sánchez I lost a lot of money today. For me a hitherto unprecedented amount of money. Not quite, “I’ll put that in my mouth for $5 so I can eat tonight” kind of money, rather “Fuck Apple stock, shots all around!” kind of money. But you […]

Review: I Am Legend

Directed by Francis LawrenceWritten by Mark Protosevich and Akiva Goldsman, based on the novel by Richard Matheson The most offensive thing about the newest adaptation of Richard Matheson’s indelible classic is that it has the temerity to call itself I Am Legend. Maybe the producers considered the age of the original novel and thought no […]

Review: The Man From Earth

Directed by Richard Schenkman, 2007Written by Jerome Bixby In my November DVD guide I said this of The Man From Earth: Lastly what I’m going to go ahead and call the genre release of the month.  An indie film I’ve written about before: The Man From Earth.  It is a straight Sci-Fi story with classic […]

Review: The Mist

Directed and Adapted for the Screen by Frank Darabont from Stephen King’s Novella, 2007 I have a tendency to be hyperbolic in immediate praise of any movie that really does something for me. As a type of critic, this is a sure flaw, but please understand that I am making a conscious effort to tone […]

Review: Alone

Written and Directed by Banjong Pisanthanakun and Parkpoom Wongpoom, 2007 I imported Shutter on a whim nearly three years ago.  This was when I was going to FSU, living by myself in a one-bedroom.  More specifically, it was during a period when I was watching Asian films almost exclusively — somewhere in the neighborhood of 12+ […]

Review: The Tripper

Directed by David Arquette, 2006*Written by David Arquette & Joe Harris The ingredients for The Tripper are indeed peculiar.  Peace loving hippies at a music festival in the deep woods, a man in a Ronald Reagan mask slaying festival goers, Thomas Jane as a police office, Paul Ruebens as the festival promoter, Jason Mewes as […]

Review: Abominable

Directed by Ryan Schifrin, 2006Written by Ryan Schifrin, Story by James Morrison Abominable is an unstoppable good time, the single most admirable straight-to-DVD film in years and flatly the best cryptozoological horror ever made. Supremely ambitious, never compromising personality for cheap satisfaction, Ryan Schifrin’s ripped open the cabin bound terror tale with the same fervor […]

Review: 13 Beloved

Directed by Chukiat Sakweerakul, 2006Written by Chukiat Sakweerakul, based on the comic by Eakasit Thairatana 13 Beloved is not a horror movie.  It is a dark, brutal comedy with a plot that should fit snugly into the heart of any genre fan.  I’m not sure it has the international notoriety, yet, but I firmly believe […]

Review: 30 Days of Night (Film)

Directed by David Slade, 2007Written by Steve Niles and Stuart Beattie and Brian Nelson Despite all of the sub-genres, all the crossovers and all the remakes, there are only two kinds of horror films, each defined within five minutes of its run time; 1) that which opens with a brutal slaying of a character unimportant […]

Review: Return to House on Haunted Hill – HD DVD

Directed by Víctor García, 2007Written by William Massa The second viewer choice to be made during this experiment in story delivery comes when an Asian woman is trapped in a room with two nude female ghosts who stroke and surround her as if the decaying operating room they are in were nothing more than the […]

Review: The Reaping

Directed by Stephen Hopkins, 2007Written by Carey Hayes & Chad Hayes, Story by Brian Rousso Remember when The Reaping kept having its release pushed farther and farther back, the studio omen that they don’t have faith in what they just bank rolled?  And then when it finally came out, everyone hated it?  Well, technically not […]

Review: Ice Spiders

Directed by Tibor Takács, 2007Written by Eric Miller Remember Patrick Muldoon, the douchebaggy pilot who tried to break up the star crossed love of Casper Van Dien and Denise Richards in Starship Troopers?  Ever wondered what he was up to these days?  Ice Spiders.  Yes, Ice Spiders.  Ice Fucking Spiders is what he is up […]

Review: HACK/Slash (comic)

Created by Tim Seeley For the past week and a half I’ve been relatively immobilized by minor surgery.  It has been a pain in the ass, quite literally as that is where a doctor created the Mariana Trench out of my flesh, but one of the advantages of being couch bound is I get to […]

Review: The Bunker

Directed by Rob Green, 2001Written by Clive Dawson Note: Despite that awesome cover, know there are no zombies anywhere in this film.  Unless you count the director, screenwriter and actors. Is it law that any film with a group of people trapped in one locale must have Friedrich Nietzsche’s abyss quote as an opening title? […]

Review: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

Directed by Scott Glosserman, 2007Written by Scott Glosserman, David J. Stieve The horror genre can easily be imagined as a toy crane machine.  Optimists high on past successes slide in dollar bill after dollar bill in wishful attempts to grab hold of something once again worth time and money.  Anyone controlling that seductive tri-claw of […]

Review: Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Written and Directed by George Barry, 1977 On his new CD Werewolves and Lollipops Patton Oswalt confesses the pain Death Bed: The Bed That Eats causes him.  Not pain from watching it, but from knowing it exists.  Knowing someone not only finished a script about a bed that eats people, but that other people thought […]

Review: Halloween (2007)

Directed by Rob Zombie, 2007Written by Rob Zombie; original screenplay by John Carpenter and Debra Hill "Give them nothing!  But take from them everything!" That line from 300 kept running through my sporadically idle mind while watching Rob Zombie’s Halloween.  Zombie took everything that makes Halloween work and gave nothing back.  He gave nothing to […]

Review: Heart-Shaped Box (Novel)

Written by Joe Hill, 2007 The only reason Heart-Shaped Box caught my eye was because I know Joe Hill is Stephen King’s eldest son.  This is exactly why Joesph Hillstrom King writes under a pseudonym, but this is inevitably a burden he’ll just have to deal with.  I can think of far worse weights to […]

Review: Disturbia

Directed by D.J. Caruso, 2007Written by Christopher B. Landon and Carl Ellsworth There is no reason to do a song and dance around what you and I both expect Disturbia to be.  It is an unofficial Rear Window with teenagers for teenagers directed by a guy who thinks he is a teenager, using two letter […]

Review: Primeval

Directed by Michael Katleman, 2007Written by John D. Brancato & Michael Ferris Nature run amok.  Crocodiles going ape shit.  You’ve seen Lake Placid.  Or Crocodile.  Or Crocodile 2: Death Swamp.  Or Lake Placid 2.  Or Dinocroc.  Or Krocodylus.  Or the upcoming, unrelated, duo of Rogue and Black Water… Point is, it seems that all these […]

Review: 3 Dead Girls DVD

In case anyone has escaped the unsolicited promotion of Indie artist Christopher Alan Broadstone’s new DVD, 3 Dead Girls, here is yet another run down: 3DG is the newly available compilation of Broadstone’s award winning short films; Scream For Me, My Skin, and Human No More. Listed Features: New Hi-Def Transfer of Scream for Me […]

Review: Sunshine

Directed by Danny Boyle, 2007Written by Alex Garland Confession: I like Sci-Fi more than I do Horror.  Considerably more, actually, but true Science Fiction, good or bad, is also considerably rarer.   Which is why it gives me great pleasure to write about Sunshine.  Not only do I get to  talk about something different for a […]

Review: Dead Silence

Directed by James Wan, 2007Written by Leigh Whannell Full of emptiness, Dead Silence’s script was surely scrapped together after the Saw duo decided they wanted to somehow make a movie about dummies.  They certainly didn’t set out to tell a morbid coming home story, a murder mystery or a quiet chiller.  All of those things […]

Review: Black Sheep

Written and Directed by Jonathan King, 2006 Genetically engineered sheep, released inadvertently by activists, not only overrun a small Kiwi town, but any human bitten turns into some insane kind of weresheep?  Self-aware limits with a no-shame script?  Early Peter Jackson aspirations with a contemporary, Oscar winning P. Jackson’s WETA workshop doing the makeup effects?  […]

Review: 1408

Directed by Mikael Håfström, 2007Written by Matt Greenberg and Scott Alexander & Larry Karaszewski; from Stephen King’s short story Two of 2007s most promising genre features take their cues from the short form of the Crimson King.  The Mist, directed by the proven Frank Darabont, and 1408, helmed by the relatively new Mikael Håfström.  The […]

Review: House of Leaves (Novel)

Written by Mark Z. Danielewski, 2000*This is a long review, I know.  Read the book. The best way to describe the experience of putting eyes to the pages of House of Leaves is to spoil the ending of my favorite Clive Barker story; "In the Hills, The Cities".  Barker’s great short concerns a couple who […]

Review: Ils (Them)

Written and Directed by David Moreau and Xavier Palud, 2006 Clocking in at a very trim 77 minutes, featuring only two characters (not counting the opening pair, who exist only for an introductory jolt), and hailing from the land of Haute Tension, Ils is a near plot-less exercise in sustaining the slasheresque chase for as […]

Review: Bug

Directed by William Friedkin, 2006Written for Stage and Screen by Tracy Letts There is no point in delaying the inevitable conclusion.  Bug is a difficult film.  It is cinematic art at its narrowest.  This is the kind of movie that art house/Indie fundamentals are based on.  Under no circumstances will Bug ever find a wide […]

Review: 28 Weeks Later

Directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, 2007Written by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo and Rowan Joffe & Jesús Olmo, Enrique López Lavigne The torch has been passed.  Not just from original 28 Days director Danny Boyle to 28 Weeks director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, but from the apocalyptic consumer cannibalism of Romero’s Dead -ilogy to today’s Rage infected culture […]

Review: Secret Window

Directed by David Koepp, 2004Written by David Koepp, Stephen King Secret Window stings me.  I like David Koepp.  I think he is a fine studio writer and, whether it is embarrassing to admit or not, had a huge impact on both my life and my likes.  Jurassic Park, to a kid my age, was a […]

Review: The Dentist

Directed by Brian Yuzna, 1996Written by Dennis Paoli, Stuart Gordon, Charles Finch To me The Dentist is the straight-to-video movie.  I can’t tell if it was an actual STV release, but it is the one movie I remember seeing on video store shelves everywhere as a child and thinking to myself, "Wow, did they really […]

Review: Lake Placid 2

Directed by David Flores, 2007Written by Todd Hurvitz, Howie Miller I am not going to bother wasting my time writing a formal review of Lake Placid 2.  I am simply going to transcribe the first 2 minutes of the script, anything else you need to know can be extrapolated from this inspired exchange: "Man, this […]

Review: Sublime

Directed by Tony Krantz, 2007Written by Erik Jendresen Make no mistake, Raw Feed jumped off to a forgettable start with Rest Stop.  That flick did practically nothing right (except remind that Joey Laurence was still alive) and if popular opinion is to be believed – here’s looking at you IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes – the […]

Review: Unrest

Directed by Jason Todd IpsonWritten by Jason Todd Ipson, Chris Billett (2006) Perhaps the most appropriate real world testament to Unrest‘s multiple strengths is the fact that even with the added distraction of a dozen or so progressively louder drunk people on Friday the 13th, it still managed to be a fascinating, well acted story […]

Review: Grindhouse

Written and Directed by Robert Rodriguez (Planet Terror) and Quentin Tarantino (Death Proof) I’ll not begin to pretend that I have any palpable knowledge of Grindhouses.  They mean nothing to me.  They lived and died before I even lived.  Their movies are lost to me, their directors are lost to me, their style is lost […]

Review: The Breed

Directed by Nicholas Mastandrea, 2006Written by Robert Conte, Peter Martin Wortmann Ah, yes, the veritable ‘college co-eds go on weekend retreat to remote cabin’ plot.  Oh how reliable you are.  Always there as a fall back when the brain is too stressed by character development to worry about setting or plot logic. Or when you […]

Review: The Last Christmas (Graphic Novel)

Created and Written by Gerry Duggan & Brian Posehn, 2006 I love everything about the concept of The Last Christmas.  The earth’s inevitable zombie apocalypse hits, bringing death to every corner of the globe – including the North Pole.  When a band of marauders puts a bullet in Mrs. Claus’ brain, Santa loses it.  Christmas […]

Review: The Witches Hammer

Written and Directed by James Eaves, 2006 Glance at the above poster for The Witches Hammer and one would surely be convinced as to what kind of movie they’re getting into.  Let me further inform that it was made by a bunch of idealistic Brits who had a micro-budget.  Given these two pieces of evidence, […]

Review: When a Stranger Calls (2006)

Directed by Simon West, 2006Written by Jake Wade Wall, from the 1979 screenplay by Steve Feke and Fred Walton I have duel confessions to make.  I will watch anything in High Definition.  It is important to understand this is the only reason I began to watch the remake of When a Stranger Calls.  A follow […]

Review: Love Object

Written and Directed by Robert Parigi, 2003 Love Object is a movie you’re not likely to have heard of, written and directed by a guy you’ve definitely not heard of.  It is a movie that will have played best to its initial festival crowd and whose more realistic audience consists of bored people like me; […]

Review: The Hitcher (1986)

Directed by Robert Harmon, 1986Written by Eric Red The original Hitcher has a damned die hard set of enthusiasts.  People love that movie in unbelievable ways.  Twenty or thirty minutes into it, I was considering joining them.  The opening act of Red’s script is the very definition of caged intensity.  It captures the spirit of […]

Review: Masters of Horror: Pelts

Directed by Dario Argento, 2006Written by Matt Venne, F. Paul Wilson If you talk Italian horror you talk first and foremost of Argento and Fulici.  I confess that of the twenty odd films and television episodes that Dario Argento has directed, I’ve seen exactly 3 – and two of those are "Masters of Horror" episodes.  […]

Review: Pulse (2006)

Directed by Jim Sonzero, 2006Written by Wes Craven, Ray Wright, Kiyoshi Kurosawa (Original film) Pulse is dark.  No, not morbid, but literally dark.  As in you can’t see a damned thing.  I mention this because it is the only thing you will remember about the movie.  How damned ugly it looks and how processings its […]

Review: Colic

Directed by Patchanon Thammajira, 2006 I’ve had my eye on Colic ever since its original teaser poster popped up at the HK Filmmart.  And by popped up, I mean jumped off the screen and shoved its mutilated baby arm in your face.  That poster is the greatest teaser poster ever made.  End of discussion. A […]

Review: Let’s Scare Jessica to Death

Directed by John D. Hancock, 1971Written by John D. Hancock, Lee Kalcheim It is hardly a forgotten classic, thanks to its cult following, but Let’s Scare Jessica to Death never fully made its way into the popular vocabulary.  Not in the same way as some of its cohorts; Rosemary’s Baby, The Exorcist, Last House on […]

Review: Saw III

Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2006Written by James Wan, Leigh Whannell It’s a pity that the Saw franchise is the number one name associated with media claims that American horror has turned into snuff films and torture porn.  I say this not in defense of Saw’s integrity, but rather the fact that such derisive, ultimately […]

Review: Turistas

Directed by John Stockwell, 2006Written by Michael Ross I’ll wander blindly out onto this lonely limb, but reflecting back on the eligible candidates Turistas is actually one of the best horror films of ’06.  Worth note, however, is that ’06 boiled down to a rather slim list of candidates. Going into the flick, I didn’t […]

Review: Fragile

Directed by Jaume Balagueró 2005Written by Jaume Balagueró, Jordi Galcerán All the natural resources ghost films mine their goods from have been plundered for years now.  Every now and then a film like Shutter can tap into a familiar vein and uncover treasure in the process, but the law of averages says that most ghosties […]

Review: Pan’s Labyrinth

Written and Directed by Guillermo del Toro, 2006 Without question, Pan’s Labyrinth is the hitherto epoch of Guillermo del Toro’s objectively off-and-on filmography.  His personal tale about the innocence of a little girl amidst a world of pain is, to say the least, bursting with imagination.  Featuring not only the best makeup effects of 2006, […]

Review: Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

Directed by Tom Tykwer, 2006Written by Andrew Birkin, Bernd Eichinger, Tom Tykwer, Patrick Süskind (Novel) I hate to write an introductory paragraph like this.  I know there are still a crop of leftovers from 2006 I patiently await (here’s looking at you Mandy Lane, Leslie Vernon, and a Hatchet), but baring the aforementioned unseen(s), I […]

Review: Altered

Directed by Eduardo Sánchez, 2006 Written by Jamie Nash, Eduardo Sánchez I don’t care what anyone says these days.  I don’t care if they pull the, “I knew it was fake” or, “You never even saw anything, just some guy standing in the corner” – The Blair Witch Project was and still is a damned […]

Review: See No Evil

Directed by Gregory Dark, 2006Written by Dan Madigan I like to think I have a knack for exaggeration.  And yet, no matter how hard I strain my brain, I cannot summon any hyperbole to properly relate just how bad WWE Films’ See No Evil is.  Every time I rest my fingers on the home keys, […]

Review: “The Lost Room” Mini-Series

Directed by Craig R. Baxley, Michael W. Watkins 2006Written by Laura Harkcom, Christopher Leone, Paul Workman The Sci-Fi Channel has got heart and I love ‘em for it, but their track record on original productions is pretty spotty.  Which is why it brings me great, great joy to tell you, kind reader, that The Lost […]

Book Review: Next

Written by Michael Crichton, 2006 You may be wondering why I’m reviewing a Michael Crichton book on a horror website.  The man writes almost exclusively in the vein of corporate thrillers based around some wacky, out of control, fringe science of the very near future. Well, if you must know, I happen to like wacky, […]

Review: Severance

Directed by Christopher Smith, 2006Written by Christopher Smith and James Moran Judging by how many people ask me where the image at the top of the site came from, Christopher Smith’s first film, Creep, never really reached the audience it deserved to.  However, The UK’ers sophomore film, Severance, undoubtedly will.  It is a simple and […]

Review: Isolation

Written and Directed by Billy O’Brien, 2005 Isolation opens aptly with moody, mysterious circumstances surrounding the imminent delivery of a calf on a remote farm in Ireland.  Orla, the sole vet tending to the pregnancy, is performing one of what will prove to be several armful uterus probings, when there is a crunching sound prompting […]

Review: Aftermath

Written and Directed by Nacho Cerda, 1994 Aftermath is art so rare, so exacting and so human that it will penetrate all who view it to their deepest core.  This is not theory, this is irrefutable fact.  It is gravity.  Nacho Cerda’s short film is a definition of gravity possessing such validity that had Newton […]

Review: Masters of Horror: Sounds Like

Directed by Brad Anderson (2006)Written by Brad Anderson based off Mike O’Driscoll‘s short story Brad Anderson – the guiding hand behind Session 9 and The Machinist – has seemingly developed a crush on showing middle aged men in increasing states of mental disrepair.  If it weren’t for his television work on shows with continuity linked […]

Review: World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War

Written by Max Brooks, 2006 Determining the launching point for a review of Max Brooks’ newest zombie masterwork, World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, is hard.  It’s an odd, but welcome challenge to chose where exactly the praise should be heaped first on this fictional journalistic recount of a global undead […]

Review: The Gravedancers

Directed by Mike Mendez, 2006Written by Brad Keene, Chris Skinner Finally a movie that reminds horror of the fact that ghosts don’t have to be Asian with long black hair to get your blood pumping. Dominic Purcell plays Harris, the dull spearhead of a group of old college buddies reunited by a friend’s funeral.  With […]

Review: The Abandoned

Directed by Nacho CerdàWritten by Nacho Cerdà, Karim Hussain, Richard Stanley The Abandoned is a visceral, vein expanding experience.  Acclaimed short film director Nacho Cerdà’s feature length debut possesses qualities either extinct or seldom seen in American horror productions, especially those with studio backing.  Elaborate, cold visuals of isolation, decrepitude, murder, and undead doppelgangers.  The […]

Review: 30 Days of Night (Graphic Novel)

Written by Steve NilesArt by Ben Templesmith When it comes to horror movies, I may not be the authority, but I like to imagine I can lay the law down with the best of ‘em.  When it comes to horror graphic novels, I’m a preschooler wearing a toy badge.  As nerdy as I am, I’ve […]

Review: From Beyond

Directed by Stuart Gordon, 1986Written by Stuart Gordon, Dennis Paoli, Brian Yuzna, based off H. P. Lovecraft’s story Of all H.P. Lovecraft adaptations – in and out of Stuart Gordon’s hand – From Beyond is perhaps the most successful.  However, first, a qualifier.  I don’t think any director has ever captured the true essence of […]

Review: Masters of Horror: Family

Directed by John LandisWritten by Brent Hanley John Landis’ sophomore "Masters" entry is, thus far, the best of the series.  I’d even go so far as to say that Family is the best thing the director has been involved with in excess of two decades. The elegant opening shot planted a wicked smile on my […]

Review: Freak Out

Directed by Christian James, 2004Written by Christian James, Dan Palmer Christian James’ first feature film, Freak Out, is the closest you’ll get to a Troma film without the Troma label.  That is, perhaps, the best available litmus test for whether or not you’ll enjoy the film.  If you’re a fan of low budget schlock, you’ll […]

Review: House of Wax (2005)

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, 2005Written by Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes, Charles Belden (story) Pull the trigger, I accept the bullets openly.  House of Wax taint half bad.  On a fair day, it may even be considered half good.  The combo weights of being an unnecessary remake at the height of remake hysteria and casting Paris […]

Review: Masters of Horror: The Damned Thing

Directed by Tobe Hooper, 2006Written by Richard Christian Matheson The previous team up of R.C. Matheson and Tobe Hooper resulted in Dance of the Dead, what many (present company included) considered the worst episode of Masters’ first season.  I fell asleep during it. It is with a clear conscious that I feel obligated to inform […]

Review: Rest Stop

Directed by John Shiban, 2006 Straight-to-DVD films are an anomaly.  I can’t think of any other arena of filmmaking that so often inspires something along the line of, "I’ve seen a lot of bad movies lately, but X is the worst I’ve seen in quite some time". I’ve seen a lot of bad movies recently, […]

Review: Feast

Directed by John Gulager, 2005 Feast sucks.  I’ve written and rewritten this introduction countless times now and regardless of how I try to word the drumroll, the punchline stays the same.  It sucks.  Period.  The end. Project Greenlight’s editing would have led you to believe that the hapless John Gulager was to blame for the […]

Review: The Host

Directed by Joon-ho Bong, 2006 Expectations.  I’m the first to confess my excitement regarding a film before its release, especially when said excitement borders on delirium.  I’m also the first to confess my disappointment when expectations aren’t met – and typically when that happens, I cast my words into a river of sadness with anger […]

Review: Voodoo Moon

Directed by Kevin VanHook, 2005 "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."- Some guy named Jesus It’s called the ethic of reciprocity.  If someone was nice enough to send me something, should I return the favor and kindly write a good review?  What if the movie wasn’t any good?  What if […]

Review: The Woods

Directed by Lucky McKee, 2006 Notice that year above.  Do I put 2003, the year The Woods went into production and forced M. Night Shyamalan to re-title his then-new film to The Village?  Or do I put 2006, the year that the foolishly shelved film finally saw the light of release, albeit it at a […]

Review: The Plague

Directed by Hal Masonberg, 2006 First out of the gate from the newly launched, Clive Barker founded Midnight Picture Show production house is the The Plague, staring James Van Der Beek (hint).  And if this is what passes Midnight Picture Show’s quality control, then they need to close up shop right now. Every child on […]

Review: I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer

Directed by Sylvain White, 2006 Ten years after the events of the original I Know What You Did Last Summer, this Always Knowing sequel follows a group of friends who hear of the legend of the Fisherman, decide for some self-fulfilling reason to stage a mock killer attack at the county fair, except someone conveniently […]

Review: Stay Alive

Directed by William Brent Bell, 2006 Considering this site has gained an audience outside of my immediate circle of friends, my relationship with Stay Alive probably needs to be re-explained in order to fully understand the inferno of rage.  Over two plus years ago I decided to make a horror movie.  A horror movie about […]

Review: Snakes on a Plane

Directed by David R. Ellis, 2006 Snakes on a Plane delivers.  Period. That’s the only question anyone wants answered after months and months of hype machine out of control.  So if that was all you wanted to know, you can stop reading now.  It seemed there were only two possible outcomes.  Either Snakes on a […]

Book Review: Puzzleman

Written by Christopher Alan Broadstone, 2003 I’ll be the first to admit that I have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to the literary side of the genre, but irregardless if I can’t cite every dark fantasy culled up by Clive Barker (and I’ve no doubt the man has come up […]

Review: Evil Aliens

Directed by Jake West, 2005 Take a look at Brit Jake West’s IMDB profile and you’ll notice he is the director and editor of over a dozen documentaries on horror film icons, so it should come as no surprise when I say that his latest film, Evil Aliens, is overloaded with what probably amounts to […]

Review: Monster House (3D!)

Directed by Gil Kenan, 2006 Monster House was my first theatrical exposure to 3D and it was, frankly, one of the most memorable movie experiences I’ve ever had.  It doesn’t hurt that the movie hits all the right notes, but that third dimension…my god.  It’s not just a gimmick, it’s not just eye candy, it’s […]

Review: Strange Sunset

Directed by Robert J. Escandon, 2006 Strange Sunset is in little capacity a horror movie, but as a fan of the indie fare, Rob Escandon asked me to check out his film, so check it out I did.  I’ll admit that when I put it in, I was a little hesitant as to whether or […]

Review: Hollow Man 2

Directed by Claudio Fäh, 2006 I like the first Hollow Man.  You can stop trusting anything I say about movies from this point on and I would understand, but I’m a sucker for Verhoeven and his silly, but poker faced, blockbusters that don’t bust the block. So what can you expect from Hollow Man 2, […]

Review: Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Directed by Alexander Witt, 2004 I didn’t want to watch Resident Evil: Apocalypse.  I really didn’t.  But I needed something to review, was too lazy to get out of my bed, and it was the only ‘horror’ movie on HBO On-Demand.  So the remote won and my soul lost. Resident Evil: Apocalypse is one of […]

Review: The Short Films of Christopher Alan Broadstone

Directed by Christopher Alan Broadstone In my experience, short films are a very mixed bag.  They’re tough to write, they’re tough to direct and a good one is tough to find.  More often than not, short films – especially those from students just entering film school – are laden with pretentious imagery and utterly incoherent […]

Review: Tail Sting

Directed by Paul Wynne, 2001 I watched Tail Sting with the guarantee that it was the worst film ever made.  This is bullshit.  Tail Sting rocks and rocks hard, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  Yes, it is a horrible movie, but it is a kick all the same. Snakes on a Plane?  Fuck snakes!  […]

Review: The Garden

Directed by Don Michael Paul, 2006 In the realm of direct-to-DVD horror, The Garden is a unique find for a multitude of reasons.  Lance Henriksen is the most obvious motivation for any genre fan to watch this contemporary but isolatory tale of good versus evil.  However, not only does the rest of the cast pull […]

Review: Final Destination 3

Directed by James Wong, 2006 Every now and then you have to love a franchise.  The Final Destination series is certainly no Nightmare on Elm Street, but it is the only original horror franchise since the early ’90s.  The first film has already hit the back burner of praise for its generation, but I’d venture […]

Review: C.H.U.D.

Directed by Douglas Cheek, 1984 Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.  That is all you need to know about the letters C.H.U.D. to know what kind of movie it is. I understand some things age better than others.  Cheese can age well.  Milk cannot.  Night of the Comet aged well.  C.H.U.D. did not. The U.S. government has […]

Review: Sleepaway Camp

Directed by Robert Hiltzik, 1983 I love the kids-stalked-at-summer-camp plot.  Maybe it’s because I spent several weeks of summer when I was younger at Camp Lakewood, a camp not too different from any of these cinematic cliches.  Or maybe I just like cabins.  Either way, my affinity for all that jazz wasn’t enough to save […]

Book Review: Cell

Written by Stephen King, 2006 Leave it to Stephen King to not only find a way to bring some originality back to zombies, but to also make cell phones threatening past those silly brain tumors. King’s severely pessimistic tale opens on the day of the apocalypse and ends a few weeks later, giving the reader […]

Review: American Psycho

Directed by Mary Harron, 2005 I remember seeing American Psycho theatrically.  This may be embarrassing of my age, but I was 15 at the time and was dropped off at the movie theater with a group of friends in a minivan.  Grant’s mom, the driver, had no desire to see the movie, but we weren’t […]

Review: Night of the Comet

Directed by Thom Eberhardt, 1984 I often dispel the idea that a golden age of horror where everything released was good has already come and gone (hence the name of this site).  While I hold true to that belief, for me the ’80s into the very early ’90s were the genre’s glory years.  There was […]

Review: Cry_Wolf

Directed by Jeff Wadlow, 2005 I hate to describe films as X meets Y, but Jeff Wadlow and Beau Bauman’s script for Cry_Wolf owes its family tree to too many films for it to go unmentioned.  This is Scream meets Mindhunters, as introduced to each other by Cruel Intentions, who was flirting with Wild Things, […]

Review: Tamara

Directed by Jeremy Haft, 2005 It’s a pity when writing a review for a movie becomes an obligatory chore.  I know Jeffrey Reddick and Jeremy Haft put a lot of love into Tamara.  It’s the only recent Indie teen "slasher" I can think of that was actually shot on film and recieved a small – […]

Review: Wolf Creek

Directed by Greg McLean, 2005 I’ve been in a horror rut recently, hence the lack of reviews.  There’s nothing coming out that I want to see theatrically.  I’m a big supporter of direct-to-DVD stuff, but there’s little to offer there as well.  I never particularly had a good feeling about Wolf Creek, but given the […]

Review: Hard Candy

Directed by David Slade, 2005 Hard Candy is not strictly a horror film, but it will mess you up more than any genre movie you’ll see this year and is thus deserving of a spot on this here horror site.  If all you know about the film is what you’ve seen from the trailer, you’ll […]

Review: Dellamorte Dellamore (Cemetery Man)

Directed by Michele Soavi, 1994 As an opening sentence there’s little I can do to make this seem less hyperbolic, and for that I make no attempt to apologize, but I shit you negative when I say Michele Soavi’s work on Dellamorte Dellamore is some of the best direction the celluloid art has ever seen […]

Review: Dead & Breakfast

Directed by Matthew Leutwyler, 2004 It’s movies like this that remind me why I wade through so much crappy, straight-to-DVD, Indie horror.  The ratio may be low, but for every ten or fifteen Satan’s Little Helpers or Gingerdead Mans, there is at least one Dead & Breakfast. In the interest of full disclosure, I was a […]

DVD Review: Incident On And Off A Mountain Road

Damn did Anchor Bay really pack these Masters of Horror DVDs with some very worth while features.  Counting the running time of the commentary tracks, of which there are two, there are over 3 hours of special features here: Available Audio Tracks: English (Dolby Digital 5.1), English (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround) Commentary by Writer/Director Don […]

Review: Dagon

Directed by Stuart Gordon, 2001 The only similarity between Stuart Gordon’s Dagon and H.P. Lovecraft’s short story it’s based on happens to be that they both involve fish people.  Stuart Gordon’s involves a small boat (or is it a yacht?  I’m not rich enough to know the difference) full of 4 people crashing off the […]

Review: Friday the 13th Part III

Directed by Steve Miner, 1982 Why am I reviewing Friday the 13th Part III without having reviewed any of the other 9 films in the series (counting Freddy vs. Jason)?  First, because Christine and I have horror marathons whenever she comes down during which we try to watch all kinds of random movies we haven’t […]

Review: Audition

Directed by Takashi Miike, 1999 Even though it’s only seven or so years old, Audition is almost a legendary film already.  It doesn’t have a mainstream following yet, but it’s the kind of viral movie that one of your friends sees and then says, "Dude, you’ve GOT to see this one Japanese movie!  It’s so […]

Review: The Deadly Spawn

Directed by Douglas McKeown, 1983 You know the drill by now.  Meteor meets Earth.  Slimy slugs with horrible teeth come out to say hello.  This time around, though, there’s no bodily possession (read: Night of the Creeps and Slither ), just plain body chomping carnage. And as meteor smashing, alien creature features go, The Deadly […]

Review: Silent Hill

Directed by Christophe Gans, 2006 I sit here staring at a picture of a beast of a man with a pyramid for a head, holding the biggest, rustiest knife in the world in one hand and a bloody corpse in the other and then I think back on what I saw tonight and wonder, “what […]

Review: Andre the Butcher

Directed by Philip Cruz, 2005 Andre the Butcher is a movie for people who just don’t care. After the mandatory, unrelated-to-the-rest-of-the-movie opening death, it kicks off with a hillbilly narrator who introduces us to Andre, the film’s urban legend cannibal, and our unique little cast of good guys; a high school cheerleading squad (all four […]

Review: Altered States

Directed by Ken Russell, 1980 Altered States is one of the most unique ‘obsessed scientist’ horror films ever made. In fact, in that fun little subgenre it is second only to David Cronenberg’s flat-out masterpiece The Fly (which, for the record, I consider to be one of the top two horror films of all time). […]

Review: Suspiria

Directed by Dario Argento, 1977 Dario Argento is a mad man with a camera. I’m no psychologist, or psychiatrist, or scientist, or any kind of -ist for that matter, but I’m pretty sure that if you could record the world through the eyes of a crazy person it would look exactly like Suspiria. If you […]

Review: Imprint

Directed by Takashii Miike, 2005 The wait is over. The UK branch of Bravo had the balls Showtime didn’t and aired Takashi Miike’s ‘banned-because-it-was-too-graphic’ episode of Masters of Horror, titled Imprint. So the main question is, “Did it deserve the controversy?” Yes and no. I can understand why Showtime would want to preempt any letters […]

Review: Night of the Creeps

Directed by Fred Dekker, 1986 Why did Fred Dekker stop making movies? Night of the Creeps was his first flick and while it isn’t as perfect as The Monster Squad, it is still a highly entertaining creature feature. It’s a bummer the last thing we’ve gotten from him as a director was Robocop 3… It […]

Review: The Ordeal (aka Calvaire)

Directed by Fabrice Du Welz, 2004 I’m at a loss for words when it comes to properly describing the Belgian gem of filmmaking that is The Ordeal. Though the term is so generic these days, the best way to put it is simply to call it ‘art house horror’. Welz’s film is a remarkably surreal […]

Review: Slither

Directed by James Gunn, 2006 James Gunn’s directorial debut does not fail to live up to its own hype. It is a creature feature as only a Troma veteran can deliver. If you’re at this site, you don’t need me to sell you on Slither. You don’t need me to pitch the plot to you […]

Review: Three..

Directed by Peter Chan, Ji-woon Kim, Nonzee Nimibutr, 2002 Though shadowed by its more successful and more popular followup, Three.. Extremes, Three.. (to my knowledge) started the trend of the Asian omnibus horror film. At its barebones, I love the idea of a film being directed by multiple directors, even if its just going to […]

Review: Day Watch

Directed by Timur Bekmambetov, 2005 In Soviet Russia, movie hates you! In the interest of full disclosure, one should know my history with this film’s predecessor. When I first saw Night Watch over a year and a half ago, I thought it was one of the most insane fantasy films I’d ever seen. I watched […]

Review: The Descent

Directed by Neil Marshall, 2005. Review originally written 11-07-05 What a freaking headache. I’m not the worldest biggest fan of Dog Soldiers, I think it is a decent enough flick, but I thought buzz was very solid about The Descent…

Review: Shutter

Directed by Banjong Pisanthanakun, Parkpoom Wongpoom, 2004. Review originally written 5-23-05 Once I actually bought it, it took me a while to get around to watching it, but it’s worth the wait. I’m a huge fan of the new wave of Asian cinema, but admittedly my knowledge of the Thai scene is extremely limited so […]

Review: Dead Birds

Directed by Alex Turner, 2004. Review originally written 3-30-05 I always check out the quotes they decide to put on the cover/back of a DVD. I had been looking forward to Dead Birds anyway, just because of what I read of it in Fangoria, but I was even more eager when I read on the […]

Review: Phone

Directed by Byeong-ki Ahn, 2002. Review originally written 3-30-05 I’ll make this brief because I wasn’t very impressed with it. I’m a huge fan of the Asian ghost film. These days they’re the only thing being produced that does actually scare me. It’s a mixture of the over use of negative space, harsh contrasts and […]

Review: The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

Directed by Wes Craven, 1977 I’ll admit that I hadn’t seen the original before seeing the remake. You’d expect someone who has a horror site to have all the cult classics crossed off their list, but I guess I’m just a failure. Having seen the remake it is a little redundant for me to praise […]

Review: The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Directed by Alexandre Aja, 2006 I remember a conversation from a few years ago between myself, my stepmom and a friend of hers. The topic was the Alien franchise and said friend was explaining that she liked all of the films except the second one because, "it put a child in danger and that is […]

Review: R-Point

Directed by Su-chang Kong, 2004 The Tartan Asia Extreme (a company I truly respect, so you should too) R1 release of Korea’s R-Point touts on the cover, “The best military-guys-meet-supernatural-evil flick since Dog Soldiers.” That may be true, but it isn’t saying much. First off, there are only a handful of army v. supernatural flicks […]

Review: Dumplings

Directed by Fruit Chan, 2004 I’d been waiting months for the R1 release of Three.. Extremes – as opposed to ‘importing’ the bootleg – because I knew the second disc was going to be the feature length cut of Fruit Chan’s Dumplings, which is easily the high tide line of the trilogy of shorts. It […]

Review: 2001 Maniacs

Directed by Tim Sullivan, 2005 A vapid, moronic attempt at a horror film if there ever was one. 2001 Maniacs is everything I hate about horror these days. I’ve heard good things about the original Two Thousand Maniacs!, but this remake is just trash. Horny frat boys and sluty sorority girls fill out the principle […]

Review: The Monster Squad

Directed by Fred Dekker, 1987 In regards to childhood adventure flicks, The Monster Squad is second only to the Goonies. And, in some categories, The Monster Squad actually kicks The Goonies ass. Plus, if you don’t like either flick, you didn’t have a childhood. End of discussion. Why does the Monster Squad kick so much […]

Review: Satan’s Little Helper

Directed by Jeff Lieberman, 2004 Bad. Bad. Bad. The only reason I had even a barely passing interest in this movie was because I thought it was about something it wasn’t. I thought it was about a kid who, when trick or treating by himself, befriends a guy in a Satan costume with whom he […]

Review: Rabid

Directed by David Cronenberg, 1977 I’ll tell you right off the bat, if the name David Cronenberg is meaningless to you, this movie will be as well. Cronenberg’s earliest entries to the genre have strange qualities to them that I really dig. He has a way of creating scenarios that are obscurely atypical, but never […]

Review: Cookers

Directed by Dan Mintz, 2001 Addicts who set up a meth lab in a dilapidated house in the woods is, at least, unchartered territory in the genre. But Cookers shows why it probably is untred ground. It’s really just not that interesting. Addicts are boring. They’re the same in every single movie and they’re never […]

Review: The Gingerdead Man

Directed by Charles Band, 2005 Just look at that cover! How could anyone possibly resist such a siren’s seductive call? That cover means business. The Gingerdead Man doesn’t ask to be watched, it sticks a knife to your throat and demands that you watch it. When I first saw the full-page ad in Fangoria a […]

Review: Nightbreed

Directed by Clive Barker, 1990 The ’80s/early ’90s were easily the glory days of horror. It was a time when true imagination was on the screen. Material actual felt original back then. It didn’t feel processed. It didn’t feel engineered. It felt right. Even the sequels felt original. I’ll take a Nightmare on Elm Street […]

Review: The Dead Zone

Directed by David Cronenberg, 1983 David Cronenberg knows what the hell is up. Pound for pound he is the greatest North American auteur working today. Several of his films are in my all time favorites and I’d even go so far as to list The Fly in my top 5 horror films of all time. […]

Review: Saw 2

Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2005 I appreciate the original Saw for drawing enough crowds to turn Lions Gate a very solid profit, but that’s about it. I think it was a worthless movie which showed absolutely zero promise for James Wan as a filmmaker and exposed him as nothing more than a gimicky screenwriter. […]

Review: House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim

Directed by Michael Hurst, 2005 I’d just like to point out that I was right in my guess as to House of the Dead 2′s fate, since I just saw a commercial for it on Sci-Fi. Not much of a surprise… I didn’t know anything about the production of this obvious disaster going into it, […]

Review: Dead End

Directed by Jean-Baptiste Andrea, Fabrice Canepa, 2003 Dead End is one of my favorite films of any genre of the last 5 years. I knew I wanted to write a review of something good for this site, for a change, so I knew Dead End had to be it. I wrote a review for it […]

Review: Dead Meat

Directed by Conor McMahon, 2004 There is a limit to how much handheld, homebrew horror I can take. I didn’t think I could quantify that limit, but after enduring this trash I can firmly tell you that even 30 minutes pushes it. Because the opening shot is of a man being attacked and eaten by […]

Review: The Dark Hours

Directed by Paul Fox, 2005 Where was I in the late 90′s when the law was passed that says, “If you are making a psychological horror film said film’s conclusion must be that all of the film’s events were in the protagonist’s head?” I don’t remember getting to vote on this, but apparently it must […]

Review: Creep

Directed by Christopher Smith, 2004 Our heroine, Kate, falls asleep waiting for a train on the London Underground while on her way to try to sleep with George Clooney. That really is how the plot kicks off. She wakes up alone and trapped in the sealed subway system. A train passes by (despite that the […]

Review: Boy Eats Girl

Directed by Stephen Bradley, 2005 Boy loves girl. Boy has misunderstanding, is devestated by girl. Boy kills himself. Mother raises boy from the dead. Such is Boy Eats Girl. There is something about any high school horror movie that I am just a sucker for. Maybe it is the idea of an entire high school […]

Review: Hostel

Directed by Eli Roth, 2006 Because this site was originally bought with the intention of turning it into an Eli Roth shrine, I think it is only fitting that the first review on it be for Hostel. Ever since the theatrical run of Cabin Fever I have relentlessly praised Roth and once he started making […]


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