Horror's Not Dead

Horror's Not Dead

"There is no delight the equal of dread."
-- Dread

All posts in the 'Editorials' category


Fuck Yes! The AFI, once again, proves they love horror.

Shouldn’t be too hard to remember that just last week I was defending the AFI over their lack of horror lists in their Top 10 of 10 special.  Well, last night I was checking out the showtimes for MONGOL and noticed that they had finally listed the lineup for their sequel to last year’s summer […]

The Saturn Awards threw darts at a wall.

The Saturn Awards are an annual ceremony by the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films to champion and, you guessed it, award a crown to films in various categories.  I’ll admit that in the past I’ve never paid too much attention to the Saturn Awards.  They held a passive credibility with me.  Their […]

In defense of the AFI over their horror snub.

Many a horror fans were dutifully pissed when the American Film Institute aired a new special Tuesday night dropping names for the Top 10 films of 10 different genres.  The genre’s the AFI honored did not include horror, but did include: Animation, Romantic comedies, Western, Sports, Mystery, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Gangster, Courtroom Drama, and Epic.
I’m not […]

Obligatory Friday the 13th Post.

Oh Happy Day!
I love the date wherever it falls, don’t get me wrong. It is in our mitochondria. But I’m going to be honest with you. I can’t write up a long post about the odd strength of the gravitational draw it lords on our niche calendar (it does cast a halo […]

The flick I’ve loaned out the most.

Just the other day I learned a buddy I work with had never seen it. During that same conversation I learned that my roommate had never seen it. So, tonight, we popped in my favorite Cannibals Eat You and Gain Your Power movie of all time. As if there were any alternative, […]

So about that horror box office thing….

I’m not very good at following through with things in a timely manner. Not at all. Over one month ago I mentioned my grand ‘ole breakdown of the horror box office. My ambitions, my hopes, my dreams. I asked for input as to what was left off my list and I […]

Swinging in the Blog World: Arbogast on LAST HOUSE

The League of Tana Tea Drinkers has begun a weekly (most likely) event in which all of its members re-publish a designated post from another member. Dropping his house keys into the collective blog swinging bucket this week is the outstanding enigma Arbogast of the blog Arbogast on Film.

Follow the Read More link to […]

My Not-So-Secret Wish for a new Sub-Genre

I’ve spent the last few days with this question rolling around in my head; What will be the next gimmick? What is the next generation of horror? Who will be the next vanguard and what, exactly, will be their guard?
Call me skeptical, but no one can re-invent the slasher. No one can re-invent the creature […]

“We have sharks inside buildings as well.”

Just when you thought the Sci-Fi channel could not get any dumber, they go and do something like this…. and totally redeem themselves! The this being GOBLIN SHARK ATTACK. Fangoria has an article up on the film and I must say, I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited for a movie about […]

I am Obsessed with the Horror Box Office

I must be upfront. This post is a ruse meant to take the place of a later post. A blog equivalent of a Snickers bar. However, the reason for my lack of posts over the past two weeks still is not ready for prime time. So instead of that future piece […]

Release ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE, Jerks.

The perpetual delay of slasher revival pic ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE is getting recockulous. Jonathan Levine’s film first played to wide approval way back in September of 2006 at the Toronto Film Festival. It’ll be pushing two full years before it ever sees the public light of day in the US […]

Uwe Boll Can Talk Some Shit.

On Sunday Scott Weinberg of Cinematical brought to the attention of the internets a FEARNet interview in which Uwe Boll pledged to oblige a petition requesting he stop making movies if said petition garnered one million signatures. It spread like dreadful Chocolate Rain, jumping from 18,000 signatures on Sunday to over 146,000 on Tuesday. […]

Prom Night is Hurtin’ for a Squirtin’

No one expects anything from Sony’s week away remake of 1980’s PROM NIGHT directed by Nelson McCormick. The flick was a non-issue. I’ve seen the trailer, may as well have seen the movie. I was resigned to seeing it out of review obligation. A simple enough plan until I read Callum […]

Help Wanted: I am in a Horror Rut.

I can’t remember the last time I fell in love with a new horror movie.  This is a sad ordeal considering I am the sole proprietor of a horror website.  STORM WARNING was the last horror film I really enjoyed, but even that experience was dampened by the rest of the day’s disappointing lineup; INTO […]

The Last Movie I’ll Ever See?

My eyes are no one shade of color, they are a hypnotic starburst capable of stopping and or starting human wars.  While what people see looking into them may inspire spontaneous panty combustion, what I see looking out is more mucked up than THE FOG remake.  So, LASIK it is.  In two days I will […]

HND’s Top 20 Genre Films of 2007.

20.

HALLOWEEN; dir. Rob Zombie; HND Review.
"I believe the saddest thing about the entire affair is that Zombie’s HALLOWEEN isn’t that bad of a flick, but unforgiving is the act of taking the iconic Michael Myers and returning to the fans a film that is as important to the genre as a handful of sand is […]

Horror’s Not Dead: All Day Long II

Despite a regular diet, the pile of horror yet to be digested grows and grows.  Every few weeks we must gorge upon it, or the neglected buffet may buckle from the weight and something precious will fall to the wayside, going unnoticed for weeks and months.  This is a risk I cannot take.  Which is […]

How did Hatchet do at the Box Office?

I haven’t even seen Hatchet and already it has taken up more dedicated posts on this site than any other film in memory.  Recap, shall we: I was a jerk about the poster.  I questioned Adam Green’s comments that the buzz was swarming.  I explained my not being there.  Not to mention various trailer postings […]

Rob Zombie, The Internet is in Your Workprint, Downloading Your Movie

This is only fair.  I pointed it out when it happened to Hostel 2 and I’ll do the same thing for Halloween.
Earlier today a workprint of Halloween hit the ‘tubes, equipped with watermarks and all.  Just as with Hostel 2, I will not download said print, nor do I condone downloading it, but I will […]

Hey, is Eduardo Sanchez Making a Movie in China?

Eduardo Sanchez, co-creator/director/writer of The Blair Witch Project and the ruthlessly under-appreciated Altered, recently gave an interview to Bloody Good Horror! [via BD] mentioning his new movie, Seventh Moon:
It’s basically about this honeymooning couple in China, that are visiting China during the seventh lunar month, which is kind of like the superstitious month (in China) […]

Is There Really a Hype Machine for Hatchet?

Scott Weinberg, horror regular of Cinematical and contributor to God knows how many other sites, has upped a lengthy chat with Hatchet director Adam Green regarding the current trends of horror and the long awaited September 7th theatrical push of the aforementioned slasher throwback by none other than champions Anchor Bay.  Reading through it, I […]

Dear Audience, You’re Not Funny.

And you are certainly not funnier than Bruce Campbell.
I finally popped my AFI Silver cherry last night with a midnight showing of Evil Dead 2.  The 35mm print looked beautiful, the sound was crisp, but the audience was moronic.  I am all for audience interaction, especially for something as fun as Evil Dead 2, but […]

The Schizophrenia Behind Captivity

I’ve recently been pointed towards two polar presentations as to what exactly Captivity represents.  The first a YouTube interview with director Roland Joffé, the second a New York Times article about After Dark Films honcho Courtney Solomon’s plans for an absurdly immature Captivity release party.
Ya know what?  Fuck Courtney Solomon.  From the theatrical trailer that […]

The Studio Card Says Moops: Japan is the only country in Asia.

I think I’ll use this fresh rage to kick off a new editorial category for the site: The Studio Card Says Moops: AKA, The Customer is Wrong.
In this case, it happens to be that there are no countries in Asia other than Japan.

The evidence is the slated remake of Thai film Shutter.  It is no […]

Horror is Dead. Eli Roth killed it with a single poster.

It is this Hostel II poster - and this poster alone - that has convinced me studio horror has no future.  It may not be dead in the sense that blood and synaptic nerve firings keep it physically animated and profitable, but it is as dead as any other junkie unable to kick its self […]

The American ‘Host’ Remake Needs to be set in New Orleans Post-Katrina

As you may know, a little Asian obsession of mine called The Host has hit the remake mill by way of Roy Lee and Universal Pictures.  While I may have some respect in the bank for Universal, Roy Lee’s decision to put Justin Lin in charge of his Oldboy remake has landed him in the […]

Horror Movies Made Me Kill My Family

No matter how hard I strained, the sinew and the bone had limits.  In the equation of possibilities, the yield was naught.  I was powerless.  Powerless to reach the top of the crib.  Reach over it.  Past it.  Through it.
To the toy beyond.  I have zero memory of what toy it was.  To place the […]

Buy a ticket for Saw III…

… along with every other 17-32 year old male in the United States.  However, I’m not telling you to buy a ticket because I’m recommending the movie (I’m not dying to battle the opening weekend crowds myself), but I’m plugging the flick as a favor for a friend.  Actors on the bottom rung always support […]

Bravo’s “Even Scarier Movie Moments” is a Pack of Lies

Two years ago Bravo did a phenomenal countdown of the top 100 Scariest Movie Moments.  They had some great picks with some great placements, but more importantly the talking heads on the show really knew their stuff.  Though I hadn’t seen a single promo for this year’s 30 count "Even Scarier Movie Moments", I happened […]

The Nightmare on Elm Street Re-Release Was Hideous

Since this is pushing close to a week after Nightmare on Elm Street’s two night theatrical re-release, warning people not to go is hardly topical, but it should be mentioned anyway.
Did anyone else go?  Apparently not, since there were only 20 or so other people filling seats. 
Maybe it was just the theater we were […]

The Descent is a Horrible Movie and Anyone who says Otherwise is Lying to Your Face

If you’re a horror fan and read genre news sites, or practically any movie news sites, for that matter, you’ve probably heard nothing but praise for The Descent, a trapped-in-a-cave flick from UK’er Neil Marshall which hits American theaters on August 4th.  I first reviewed it in early November of last year and didn’t buy […]

Movie Night: Post-Apocalyptic Fun!

It should be pretty obvious what is going on here, but since this is the first post of its kind, I will lay down some ground rules for future lists.  Only one theme and enough total running time to make a night out of it.  And the end result is, hopefully, one kickass night of […]

Too Soon!

Anyone else catch this week’s Simpsons were grandpa stood up and yelled "Too Soon!!" when they showed the Duff blimp crashing like the Hindenburg?  Great stuff…
Anyways, if you’re going to rip off a movie’s poster, try not to rip off one that just came out.  This gallery of Cannes posters at Arrow in the Head […]

I’m Making News Up!

I’m not sure this of anyone’s interest since I’m basically making it up, but I’m posting it simply as a record to see whether I was right or not once the word does break.
Drew McWeeny revealed in a recent DVD review that he would be working with both Ron Perlman and Guillermo Del Toro in […]

Masters of Horror Fantasy Line Up

Sticking with the 13 episode, hour long format, this is my fantasy team of Masters directors. The only qualifiers were that they had to be alive and still be at least slightly active:

Capitalist Whore, I am a

I’m sure you’ve all noticed the google ads which have been on the site for a while now (unless you use adblock). I put them up a while ago just as an experiment and was planning on taking them down, but decided against it simply because I thought they gave the site a little […]

An Open Letter to Eli Roth

In this month’s Fango (if you haven’t noticed yet, Fangoria is the only magazine I subscribe to) one of the fan letters printed was regarding Hostel and the “overt heterosexism and homophobia that permeates the film”, in addition to the film’s main torturer being bisexual. Eli Roth actually took the time to pass on […]

Inspiration

I’ve said in other venues that Jerry Holkins was my favorite contemporary writer, and I’d like to just repeat it here. He’s a very lucid and descriptive writer and I love that. Also, The man shares my admiration for Lovecraft and it really shows in his style, whether it be in the news […]

In Honor of Stay Alive’s Release…

…I’ve dug up the absolute first (and retrospectively hilarious) reaction I ever had to the movie. It was written on January 10th, 2005 in the the super-secret place where Beau, Mark and I were talking about the production of The LAN:
http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/index.php?Show=3125&Template=newsfull FUCKING ASSHOLE Kay, this really doesn’t have anything to do with […]

Stay Alive - What is Wrong With People?

My seething hatred for Stay Alive isn’t something I’ve kept private and yes it was born out of personal envy, but the movie is still an obvious turd. I just don’t understand how people are getting fooled by the promotional materials for this movie.
And this isn’t an isolated incident, like the 12 people who […]

The Waiting and a Hat-Trick of Aja Posts

It really hurts me to step back and realize how lazy and unproductive I am. If I were more active in my script writing than just coming up with ideas and then letting them gather dust after I write a few pages, I could be going places at a much faster rate.
The Waiting is […]

People Can’t Handle The Hills

I saw The Hills Have Eyes for a second time last night. In addition to me enjoying the film even more (thanks in no small part to the fact that it was at a superior theater with a sound system that is chest crushing and that I wasn’t in the first row breaking my […]

The LAN, Stay Alive and Hope for Nerds

Everything I come across about the inevitably worthless Stay Alive kills my interest in it even more. It is a complete sell-out of a movie and of gamers everywhere. Just take a glance at the trailer or the poster and you’ll have your verdict. But what kills me about it isn’t that […]

I Was Right (!) AND I Hate Tim Sullivan

In my State of the Genre: The Boobie Paradox post, which was inspired by none other than seeing 2001 Maniacs, I stated that the truly crappy horror directors of today were simply trying to emulate the movies of the ’80s that they inaccurately remember - due to being teenage males at the time - as […]

State of the Genre; The Boobie Paradox

When I was writing my review of 2001 Maniacs earlier, it occured to me why the genre has taken such a distinct hit in quality over the last few years. The most public cause is the evolution of the film industry. Everything is numbers these days. If a picture breaks the bank, […]

Reasons I Shouldn’t Have Hope: Stay Alive

Just give up, studios. Your track record is getting insultingly bad. And yet this flood of pg-13 bullshit turns a profit opening weekend because it is pg-13. When a Stranger Calls should never, ever, ever have been the #1 film in America. I present to you the ugly as hell trailer […]

A Rant about the Descent

For the past 8 or so months people all over the net have been going apeshit over The Descent, Neil Marshall’s followup to the mediocre-but-loved Dog Soldiers. I don’t care if someone likes a movie I don’t or vice versa. I realize all taste is subjective. But when I read review after […]

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Horrors of It All  |  Kindertrauma  |  Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Movies  |  Moon is a Dead World  |  Slasher Speak  |  Theofantastique  |  Tolerated Vandalism
Unspeakable Horror  |  Vault of Horror  |  Zombos Closet of Horror  |  And Now the Screaming Starts  |  Attentiondeficitdisorderly Too Flat  | 
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