All posts in the '2009' category


MEAT GRINDER Review [A Good Find For Gorehounds]

Written and Directed by Tiwa Moeithaisong, 2009 I feel like I use the “I normally don’t like…” phrase often enough that it has lost a bit of its heft.  After a while one would think that enough qualifications of “normally don’t like” would mean that I do indeed like a specific type of film, but […]

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE Review [Check Out the Laser Show!]

Did I detect a bit of subtext at work in Tom Six’s creep-out THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE?  Could the movie actually be about how the shallow, impersonal connections we make with others cause us to lose our humanity?  I believe so, and that’s more than I expected from a movie about a guy obsessed with sewing […]

VICTORIAN UNDEAD Review [Horror Comics]

There’s a cover blurb on Victorian Undead, the new horror/adventure comic from DC/Wildstorm that proclaims in bright green letters, “SHERLOCK HOLMES VS ZOMBIES!” I feared that the story inside would read as a cash grab opportunity to sell issues based solely on the upcoming Guy Ritchie film. Turns out Victorian Undead’s greatest credit is that […]

THE REVENANT Mini-Review [Fantastic Fest ’09]

Written and Directed by D. Kerry Prior, 2009 There is a good movie buried within THE REVENANT, but unfortunately the film is still a few edits away from unearthing it.  It’s got a solid horror-comedy skeleton to it in the form of a plot about an Iraqi war veteran who returns home, only to re-animate […]

RAMPAGE Mini-Review [Fantastic Fest ’09]

Written and Directed by Uwe Boll Without question RAMPAGE is the best film Dr. Uwe Boll has ever made.  However, and this is an elephantine however, that statement still needs qualification.  RAMPAGE is fascinating for both its successes and its failures, but ultimately the movie is still a failure; albeit the best failure Uwe Boll […]

CROPSEY Mini-Review [Fantastic Fest ’09]

Directed by Barbara Brancaccio, Joshua Zeman, 2009 Written by Joshua Zeman Documentaries often deal with scary subject matter — JESUS CAMP is more terrifying than any work of fiction I saw in 2006 — but rarely do they intermingle with the typical horror movie narrative.  Yet such is CROPSEY, a documentary that tackles a story […]

WALLED IN Review [Netflix Watch Instantly]

Directed by Gilles Paquet-Brenner, 2009 Written by Rodolphe Tissot, Olivier Volpi, Sylvain White, Gilles Paquet-Brenner When I’m feeling lazy, I like hang out on the couch, drink beer, and watch movies. At those times I have no desire to do anything to advance the quality of my life in any way, and my creative juices […]

HUMAN CENTIPEDE Review. [Fantastic Fest 2009]

Written and Directed by Tom Six, 2009 There’s no reason you should know this, but the only dedicated THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (FIRST SEQUENCE) post ever on HorrorsNotDead.com has been one of the most trafficked posts on this site.  Apparently people enjoy reading about a mad scientist that kidnaps three people, cuts the muscle tissue connecting […]

House of Mystery Halloween Annual #1

Written by Matthew Sturges, Mark Buckingham, Bill Willingham, Peter Milligan, Chris Roberson, Matt Wagner Pencils by Luca Rossi, Kevin Nowlan, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Mike Allred, Amy Reeder Hadley One of my favorite horror comics is DC/Vertigo’s anthology title Flinch, which was published for a too-brief sixteen issue run before cancellation in 2001.  Flipping through Vertigo’s brand-new […]

SAW 6 Review. [Way to Save the Series]

Directed by Kevin Greutert, 2009 Written by Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton I am not a consistent fan of the SAW series.  I love that it is a franchise, I love that it has filled the Halloween event film void that went vacant for far too long, but as far as quality goes, part 3 […]

DAYBREAKERS Review. [Fantastic Fest 2009]

Written and Directed by Michael Spierig and Peter Spierig, 2009 When I first saw the trailer for DAYBREAKERS, the Spierig brother’s follow-up to their freshman film UNDEAD, I thought two things about their take on a world overrun by vampires in dire need of some new human blood.  First, that looks a hell of a […]

[REC] 2 Review. [Fantastic Fest ’09]

Written and Directed by Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza, 2009 I like that the original [REC]’s real-time unraveling of an apartment building under quarantine for a mysterious virus that turns the infected into fluid spewing, flesh clawing maniacs is logistically conducive to a sequel. I really like that returning filmmakers Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza […]

VAN DIEMEN’S LAND Review. [Fantastic Fest ’09]

Directed by Jonathan Auf Der Heide, 2009 Written by Jonathan Auf Der Heide and Oscar Redding Set a film in Tasmania in 1822 with prisoners on the run as characters and, as far as my frame of reference for the story is concerned, you may as well be making a movie on a different planet. […]

THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL Review. [Fantastic Fest ’09]

Written and Directed by Ti West, 2009 Time for some rumor control. Contrary to what one would assume watching The House of the Devil, writer-director Ti West does not have the power to bend time and space to his will. Ti West is not a time lord, he is a mere mortal like the rest […]

TRICK ‘R TREAT Graphic Novel Review.

Written by Marc Andreyko Art by Mike Huddleston, Grant Bond, Christopher Gugliotti, Fiona Staples If you really want to experience the differences in storytelling between comics and film, comic book movie adaptations are always a great place to start.  The panels serve as a series of “greatest hits” moments from the film, the writers and artists […]

NORTH 40 Review. Issues #1-3

Written by Aaron Williams, 2009 Art by Fiona Staples Wildstorm\DC Comics Maybe I’m “old school”, but when I buy an issue of a comic book, I want a story with a beginning, middle, and an end (even if the ending is a cliffhanger).  I understand that this isn’t the nature of the industry anymore; everything […]

BOOK OF BLOOD Review.

Directed by John Harrison, 2009 Written by John Harrison & Darin Silverman When it was first announced that THE BOOK OF BLOOD was going to be adapted into a film, I balked.  Not because it is a bad story, but because it’s barely a story.  THE BOOK OF BLOOD was the framing device Clive Barker […]

SORORITY ROW Review. [Manicured Slasher Fun]

Directed by Stewart Hendler, 2009 Written by Josh Stolberg & Pete Goldfinger One could criticize SORORITY ROW for having mostly unlikeable characters, an aesthetic sense ripped from an American Eagle catalog and dialog lifted wholesale from a wall-to-wall conversation on a freshman’s Facebook page, but one shouldn’t.  Go see SORORITY ROW on opening weekend in […]

THE FINAL DESTINATION, Review.

Directed by David R. Ellis, 2009 Written by Eric Bress Does the “The” added before the title, in lieu of a number four, mean that this series is dead now?  FINAL DESTINATION had the efficient idea of cutting out the middle man from slasher films, just offing its teenybopper cast members through awful, gory accidents, […]

GRACE Review. [Did I See the Same Movie as Everyone Else?]

Written and Directed by Paul Solet, 2009 Opening with other people’s opinions is not something I do often, but it should be said that enough people love GRACE that I am aware of my place in the minority camp.  But if you trust my opinion on horror, you’ll temper expectations drastically.  Paul Solet’s feature film […]

INVITATION ONLY, Review.

Directed by Kevin Ko, 2009 Written by Sung In, Carolyn Lin Taiwanese horror doesn’t have much brand identity.  In a way that makes it one of the more interesting Asian nations getting in on the International horror scene.  Korea, Japan and (most recently) Thailand all have emerged with their own symbolic staples both in front […]

THE LANDLORD Review – Selfless Indie Horror.

Written and Directed by Emil Hyde, 2009 I’ve never been noodling, but I imagine blindly thrusting one’s bare arm into the mouth of a catfish is not all that different from watching independent horror.  Both find you wading through the muck and the mire with nothing more than a hope in your heart that the […]

THIRST, Review – Adam’s Take.

I figured a second review of THIRST was best reserved for when the film expanded to several new cities.  What a coincidence that 8/14/09 marks just such an occasion.  Click here for a list of theaters hosting the badass Korean mamajama. Directed by Chan-wook Park, 2009 Written by Seo-Gyeong Jeong, Chan-wook Park A film’s title […]

DISTRICT 9, Review – You Will See This Movie.

Directed by Neill Blomkamp, 2009 Written by Neill Blomkamp & Terri Tatchell DISTRICT 9 will end up being one of the most remembered films of 2009, as well it should be.  Not because it’s perfect, sorry to say, but because it’s a barrier breaker.  For the hardened fans of fantastic cinema, D9 will be a […]

THE CHAOS EXPERIMENT, Review: Join me in the Hate.

Directed by Philippe Martinez, 2009 Written by Robert Malkani There are bad movies.  There are stupid movies.  There are shitty movies.  There are awful movies.  And there is Philippe Martinez’s THE CHAOS EXPERIMENT, which is an awful shitty, awful stupid, awful bad movie.  And I’d say that’s an awful shame because it has Eric Roberts, […]

NATURE’S GRAVE, Review.

Directed by Jamie Blanks, 2009 Written by Everett De Roche These are some expanded thoughts from this mini-review at HorrorSquad. I haven’t seen LONG WEEKEND, Colin Eggleston’s original 1974 Ozploitation film about a couple who venture into the wild for a few days only to discover that Mother Nature’s creatures great and small don’t take […]

THIRST, Review – Easy Contender for Best of ’09.

Directed by Chan-wook Park, 2009 Written by Seo-Gyeong Jeong, Chan-wook Park When I bought my wife’s engagement ring I was in over my head.  I knew nothing about rings, I knew nothing about diamonds and I knew nothing about purchasing a ring with a diamond in it.  She gave me a list of what to […]

ORPHAN, Review. – Adam’s Take.

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, 2009 Written by David Johnson, Story by Alex Mace Have you ever experienced a situation where your preconceptions about something are shattered, only to have the pieces put back together again with the cracks visible?  Like walking into an elementary school classroom and hearing the teacher shout obscenities, only to find […]

Things I Learned from MALIBU SHARK ATTACK.

Goblin Sharks are: Prehistoric, Once thought to be extinct, Unseen for millions of years, “probably blind”, but have “electrosensory organs”, Not bothered by nail guns or rotary saws, Goblin Sharks can: Eat anyone just by swimming towards them, no need to actually bite, Phase shift themselves through wood floors when convenient, Swim faster than a […]

THE COLLECTOR, Review – American Horror Worth Championing.

Directed by Marcus Dunstan, 2009 Written by Marcus Dunstan & Patrick Melton If we’re going on track records alone, I’m not the kind of person who should be cheerleading THE COLLECTOR.  I’m rather indifferent to the first FEAST, but don’t care for the sequels.  I stopped being interested in the SAW franchise after part two, […]

ALICE JACOBS IS DEAD, Review.

Written and Directed by Alex Horwitz, 2009 In the not too distant future the self explanatory Z-virus has swept the globe, nearly claiming all of civilization until Dr. Ben Jacobs (John La Zar) discovers the miracle cure.  Masses of undead are under control, all that remains are a few stragglers immune to Dr. Jacobs’ treatment, […]

THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT, Review – Editing Room Scares for Kids.

Directed by Peter Cornwell, 2009 Written by Adam Simon & Tim Metcalfe I could recommend THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT to any 13 year old boy or girl.  I stress that I could make such a recommendation, but I don’t know any 13 year olds and even if I did, I’m not sure I’d want to […]

FRAGMENT (Novel) Review – Science to the Side, Monsters to the Max!

Written by Warren Fahy, 2009 It is a reluctant way to start a review talking about what something isn’t, but this is bugging me.  I’ve seen it in almost all of the reviews.  It was what drove me to read FRAGMENT, a debut novel from newcomer Warren Fahy, in the first place.  But it’s just […]

Review: The Conduit (Video Game)

The Conduit Developer(s) High Voltage Software Publisher(s) Sega It’s the game Wii owners have been salivating for since E3 2008, proudly boasting that THE CONDUIT is the best first-person shooter for the Wii and will pave the way for future games utilizing what they have accomplished. It’s a pretty big claim and for better or […]

Review: F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin (Video Game)

F.E.A.R. 2: PROJECT ORIGIN Developed by Monolith Productions Published by Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment Being a fan of the original F.E.A.R. (and to a lesser extent, the two non-canon expansions) I was fairly excited for this sequel. The original F.E.A.R. accomplished a lot in terms of the tech, combat, and the level of terror, which […]

Review: DRAG ME TO HELL

Directed by Sam Raimi, 2009 Written by Sam Raimi & Ivan Raimi Better late than never. Right? DRAG ME TO HELL, in theory, is a good movie, but as with all theory, scrutiny, minimal it may be, is required before theory metabolizes into law.  In theory, this is Sam Raimi’s return to horror, a technically […]

Horror Brings the Ruckus to E3.

There was quite a bit of Horror infused in E3 this year, impressing myself and horror fans in general more than I think anyone expected.  Personally, E3 had pretty much everything I wanted: New game announcements, trailers/gameplay footage of games I’ve been following and even one or two surprises. Videos and highlights follow: LEFT 4 […]

Review: SILENT VENOM

Directed by Fred Olen Ray, 2009 Written by Mark Sanderson I am a man of refined tastes possessing a palette more exacting than a green lazer straight from Laser Cove, but, alas, I am still just a man.  Soft bits wrapped around hard bits with chemistry connecting it all.  Who am I to resist a […]

Review: Lux Pain (Video Game)

Lux Pain Developed by Killaware Published by Ignition Entertainment Lux Pain is one of those games with a hollowed out and rotten trunk that has some fairly interesting aspects branch off. Unfortunately, it’s not bugs and execution that bog Lux Pain down; it is the simple fact that Lux should have not been a game; […]

Review: PONTYPOOL

Directed by Bruce McDonald, 2009 Written by Tony Burgess Few works evoke a compliment as endearing as calling something Cronenbergian.  A comparison to the great director (my favorite director still working today, for disclosure purposes) is not one I make lightly, but even without a single element of body horror, early Cronenberg is precisely what […]

Review: THE UNINVITED (2009)

Directed by Charles Guard and Thomas Guard, 2009 Written by Craig Rosenberg and Doug Miro based on A TALE OF TWO SISTERS In an recent response to my original dismissal of Fox television show “FRINGE”, a reader pointed out that I should factor in the general population’s narrowed intake of Science Fiction instead of comparing […]

THE UNBORN (as a Text Based Adventure).

Written and Directed by David S. Goyer, 2009 You have nothing else to do. ] Watch movie What movie would you like to watch? ] THE UNBORN Are you sure? ] Yes. I’ve heard it is pretty awful. ] Watch THE UNBORN Okay, but remember, you did this to yourself. … You are an attractive […]

GUEST REVIEW: RESIDENT EVIL 5 (XBOX 360/PS3)

Published and Developed by Capcom, 2009 It has been about four years since the near-masterpiece RESIDENT EVIL 4 hit shelves and changed the series and the entire survival horror genre (for better or worse).  Leaps and bounds were made in terms of combat and pacing, replacing most of the puzzles and backtracking with faster paced […]

Review: THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (2009)

Directed by Dennis Iliadis, 2009 Written by Adam Alleca and Carl Ellsworth Remakes are a funny thing.  No one asks for them.  In fact, we all complain about them.  When they’re at their worst, remakes inspire more vitriol from fans than any other breed of film within the genre.  When they’re at their best, we […]

Guest Music Review: Wrath, Lamb of God

This review is brought to you by Randy Mull, whose not even one year old son is more metal than you are.  Previous reviews: Death Magnetic, The Crucible of Man. Lamb of God Wrath Rating 6 of 10 Bonus Tracks Go to 11 It is official, with the release of Wrath, Virginia metal heavyweights Lamb […]

Review: FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)

Directed by Marcus Nispel, 2009 Written by Damian Shannon & Mark Swift Given its pedigree, a 2009 remake of FRIDAY THE 13TH need only succeed by not disrespecting the brand.  No Jason talking, no Jason made of metal, just Jason sticking a machete (or whatever he can find) into a batch of attractive college co-eds.  […]

Review: MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D

Directed by Patrick Lussier, 2009 Written by Todd Farmer and Zane Smith I’m not of the crowd that believes a movie – any movie, not just MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D – is campy or corny or popcorn or fluff and that it is a requirement of the viewer to turn off some theoretical switch in […]


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