Ah, THE FINAL DESTINATION. I hate to go for the obvious pun here, but, well, let’s all hope it’s the actual final chapter in a series that has been going down hill for the better part of a decade. But hey, it’s the only major release of the week, so unless you’re dying to shell out some money for the WICKED LAKE Blu-ray (and if you are, please don’t admit it), this is about as good as it gets the first week of January.
Fuck me, 2010 is not getting off to a good start. First we get the new worst entry in a series where death is the invisible ghost of Rube Goldberg and now we get the new worst movie made by Rob Zombie, which is a feat unto itself. I think I may finally get around to reviewing HALLOWEEN II. Should be a nice refresher vocabulary course, as I’ll need to look up new ways to say “It’s a piece of shit.”
Other titles of the week include something called DARK RAGE and a DVD four pack that includes GOTHIKA, QUEEN OF THE DAMNED, DREAMCATCHER , and GHOST SHIP. Note, the product description does not clarify whether said four pack also comes with smelling salts to wake you from the stuppor watching said four pack will put you in.
On a sci-fi note, do yourself a favor and blind buy Duncan Jones’ MOON.
And the hits just keep on coming. If you’d like to watch Kate Beckinsale slowly undress from a bulky parka to a sports bra, then WHITEOUT (review) is right up your alley. If you like good movies, then WHITEOUT is nowhere near your alley. In fact, it’s so bad that the promise of a very, very briefly and PG-13 sexualized Beckinsale is not in any way worth the price of admission.
Next up is BLOOD CREEK, previously known as TOWN CREEK, which is a movie you’d be excused for not knowing exists. I’ve actually heard pretty decent things about this Joel Schumacher directed flick, which Lionsgate quietly (and briefly) dropped into dollar theaters in 2009, so it’s probably worth a rental.
From there things shape up even more in the form of PANDORUM, a flick I kind of regret missing in theaters after it get decent, almost apologetic word of mouth. Don’t really care for any of the cast beyond Ben Foster – and Paul W.S. Anderson’s name isn’t very encouraging – but set a horror movie on a spaceship and I’m automatically in.
Will today finally see me actually laying down money to own a SAW film? I think so. After all, SAW VI (review) was one of the most pleasant surprises horror had to offer last year. Can I imagine myself watching it over and over? Nah, but the Blu-ray will definitely find itself on my shelf eventually.
Beyond that, however, we’ve got a couple catalog titles (here’s looking at you original TOOLBOX MURDERS on Blu) and a couple scrappy-looking straight-to-video movies (Frank “BASKET CASE” Henenlotter’s BAD BIOLOGY streets, though Amazon doesn’t have a picture) to round out a rather meager month’s worth of horror movie offerings.
Oh, and though it’s been available for rental in America and purchase in Canada for months now, the fascinating experiment that is PONTYPOOL (review) should finally be stocked on your local shelves come this Tuesday.
Tags: 8 MILLION DOLLARS, BLADE OF THE RIPPER, BLOOD CREEK, DARK RAGE, DOCTOR DEATH, HALLOWEEN 2, HELLWEEK, INALIENABLE, Moon, PANDORUM, PONTYPOOL, Saw 6, THE DOUBLE BORN, THE FINAL DESTINATION, THE TOOLBOX MURDERS, WHITEOUT