Uh, Wait, What? Plot for HUMAN CENTIPEDE Blows My Mind.

Posted by Peter Hall - July 7th 2009 @ 1:15 pm

[UPDATE: Read my HUMAN CENTIPEDE review right here.]

I came across some photos for the Dutch/UK co-production HUMAN CENTIPIEDE the other day, but I had no idea the context. After a stop by Quiet Earth my mind has been blown.  And now it shall claim your sanity as well:

Internationally respected Siamese twin surgeon Dr. Josef Heiter has a demented vision for mankind’s future existence. He wants to remove human beings’ kneecaps so they have to exist on all fours and then surgically graft them mouth-to-anus to form a centipede chain. When two stranded female Americans arrive at his luxury home-cum-hospital looking for help, his long-gestating plan swiftly moves into chilling action with a shocking force. Kidnapping a third Japanese male tourist he begins the tissue matches, teeth removal and buttock moulding to create his triplet creature.

See, complainers!  This is what you get when you moan of no more original horror movies.  Technically HUMAN CENTIPEDE isn’t a feature yet, rather the first in a trilogy of short films showing the mad doctor’s pursuit.  All the same, I don’t want to think about being the last set of legs on a human centipede.

I keep hearing CLERKS II over and over in my head.  “You never go ass to mouth.  You never go ass to mouth.” Oh how it fell on HUMAN CENTIPEDE’s deaf ears.

If in London, surgically graft yourself to the excrement train on August 30th at FrightFest.

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rss 28 comments
  1. July 7th, 2009 | 1:19 pm | #1

    It is impossible to read that synopsis without your jaw dropping. I dare you to try.

  2. adam charles
    July 7th, 2009 | 1:45 pm | #2

    tee-hee. This sounds glorious.

  3. John LaTour
    July 7th, 2009 | 1:53 pm | #3

    See? Horror’s not dead, it’s just becoming increasingly ridiculous.

    By all means, bring on the “buttock moulding”.

  4. July 7th, 2009 | 3:09 pm | #4

    I hope you meant to use a pun in that comment Brian.

  5. July 7th, 2009 | 8:28 pm | #5

    I am stunned.

  6. Ripp
    July 8th, 2009 | 1:05 pm | #6

    Wait, what?

  7. R.J. Sayer
    July 9th, 2009 | 9:23 am | #7

    Yes, please.

  8. SW
    July 28th, 2009 | 3:55 pm | #8

    Ok, you see i cant wait!!!! If its coming from the Dutch/UK you know its going to be good. I cant wait for this film to come out :)

  9. August 21st, 2009 | 8:43 am | #9

    its never possible to do such kind of things.. all these are a kind of hypothesis..

  10. August 21st, 2009 | 8:44 am | #10

    the pic actually looks like someone is ****ing her in doggy style

  11. shawky69
    September 11th, 2009 | 7:03 am | #11

    Well deadlywizard, the director actually sat down with a surgeon and they discussed if it was possible. The surgeon then drew the diagrams, which are used in the film to explain to the 3 captives what their fate is!

    I really enjoyed this film, it’s not as twisted as you may think, well I didn’t think it was that bad. Dieter Laser is brilliant as the Doctor.

  12. September 11th, 2009 | 9:14 am | #12

    His name is “Dieter Laser”? Really?

  13. jason
    October 1st, 2009 | 11:03 am | #13

    I’m literally scratching my head trying to think of a worse fate! This is a brilliant idea for a splatter horror film. Whats truly terrible is that this splatter is a living suffering mass. I’d rather have the deranged maniac just kill me! I’m going to see this film, if I can find it?

  14. OMG
    October 11th, 2009 | 8:08 am | #14

    OMG – original and utterly revolting idea.

  15. john
    April 16th, 2010 | 2:05 am | #15

    Genius! Absolute Genius! Not only will this film get a large cult following among the horror film fandom but a major crossover from fans of sick toilet porn.

  16. Dave
    April 22nd, 2010 | 8:40 pm | #16

    As awesome as this movie looks, it’s just not possible in real life:

    1) Once food makes it out the other end the nutrience has already been removed – anyone in position 2 or lower would wither and die.

    2) This doesn’t account for how they would get fluids, there’s not enough water in poo to live off.

    Saying that he consulted a surgeon is probably just hype to get the movie going :D

    can’t wait to see this.

  17. claire mead
    April 30th, 2010 | 3:21 am | #17

    ok DAVE for your information number 2 and 3 are hooked up to IVs, their gastric systems are combined, and the dr takes pleasure in watching them eat poo (:
    besides number 3 dies of blood poisoning… guess poo doesnt taste good?

  18. May 5th, 2010 | 9:53 am | #18

    Wow Dave, such a killjoy. You’re no fun anymore.

    xo, Biggles

  19. Connor Meechan
    May 5th, 2010 | 10:07 am | #19

    There’s absolutely NO WAY Chilly Willy could get that BIG DOG into that LITTLE CAN!!! No way!

  20. Lexi Poo
    May 22nd, 2010 | 5:00 pm | #20

    I can’t wait to see this movie. It sounds so awesome. My freindz said when i saw the piic i wouldnt eat again but i think i will. I like gross thinkgs so this is a good movie for me. Im going to LOVE it.

  21. Nathan
    May 25th, 2010 | 4:06 pm | #21

    @Dave

    The doctor put the second and third part of the chain on an IV drop but the third one does die from blood poising eventually.

  22. Tori Christopher
    May 28th, 2010 | 1:07 pm | #22

    When is this movie coming out and whats upw with that doctor???

  23. June 14th, 2010 | 10:30 am | #23

    Hello i just want to know if the Humen Centipede DvD is out in the uk and if its avalible to get in your normal DvD shop?? i have not seen it yet but i really want to so someone answer my question, plus i seen the trailer it looks sooooo scary and torchered lol

  24. nonnie
    June 25th, 2010 | 6:23 am | #24

    Omg, i ACTULLAY FEEL SICK FROM watching this,it is so vile actually unbelievable

  25. Kiara
    June 26th, 2010 | 5:51 pm | #25

    OMG!! I dare anybody to watch this movie it is so messed up, i was watching it and my boyfriend was sitting on the other side of the room adn he said i am getting chills just listing to it it is so sick and twiseted i wish i knew why this man wanted to do this so bad it is very interesting. If anybody has any other psychology movies they found interseting please e-mail me at kiarahopkins1@hotmail.com
    Another movie i recomend for you pshycology lovers is The Devils chair :)

  26. JenVy
    July 1st, 2010 | 12:40 am | #26

    Only about 10% of the nutrients are used, the other 90% are excreted. The bacteria in the faeces is the problem. They’d die a slow and horrible death of septaecemia when their mouth stitching gets infected, rather than starve. What about a rupture? And you’re second point brings about an interesting notion, what happens to liquid waste? Probs don’t want to know. Obviously his victims are going to die any which way you look at it. Brings a new angle to the exclamation “Eat shit!”

  27. Luna
    July 23rd, 2010 | 7:25 pm | #27

    this is very disturbing. WHATCH THE TRAILOR. iv eresaerched it nd everything read the whole plot. it ends by linsday (the middle creature) stranded in the house with the dctor and the other 2 people in captivity dieing nd she is the only one that lives… creepy.

  28. August 9th, 2010 | 6:34 pm | #28

    ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopppppppppp I fuck you butt. Korea forever!

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