What am I going on about? Well, if instead of going to Blockbuster to rent a horror movie I instead was giving a couple hundred thousand dollars to make a movie, the result probably would have been very close to BLOOD FEAST 2: ALL U CAN EAT.
Directed by gore legend Herschell Gordon Lewis and written by the cast driver of BUG and WAITING (no, really, the driver), BF2 is a sequel thirty nine years in the making that was released thirty years after Gordon Lewis’ previous directorial effort. His prior films are unseen by me, and perhaps this is cause for a notch to be taken from my Horror Card, but if it is any consolation I now plan to check out more of his work, because BF2 is delirious fun.
With all the production qualities of an impressive high school project…in the year 1995, BF2 transcends its budget despite looking and sounding like it was shot on VHS. It helps that no attempt whatsoever is made to ground the film in reality or remove tongue from cheek. Bad acting and nonsensical characters can more easily be forgiven when the filmmakers don’t even know how to spell “logic,” and make no apologies for it.
Instead of getting bogged down in exposition and terrible dialogue, like so many of its ilk, BF2 briefly sketches the characters and quickly gets to the good stuff. Surprisingly, the “good stuff” consists of not only the nudity and gore, but the writing as well. Not that the writing excels in the classical sense, but it somehow manages to be clever and dumb at the same time, with the clever outweighing the dumb for most of the running time. A perfect example of the clever/dumb formula: as two detectives are considering breaking into a home, one of them says something like “I’m always up for a little B and E,” to which the other guy responds “bacon and eggs?” That’s funny.
No? Well then screw you.
Not to be outdone by the comedy, BF2 proudly presents much gratuitous nudity (meet Trixi, Candi, Laci, Brandi, AND Bambi), and over-the-top gore (see: hand and arm of conscious person go through meat grinder, multiple disembowelments, body parts served as appetizers at wedding reception, and a variety of other delights). Somehow all of this depravity comes across as innocent fun, probably due the fact it is more of a farce than a horror movie.
You may have noticed I have made no attempt to describe the plot. Trust me, it is of no consequence, and if you are truly concerned that the story just might not grab, you then don’t even consider watching this. If, on the other hand, it is perversion and insanity and a lack of morality you seek, then BLOOD FEAST 2 is for you. Thirteen-year-old Brian K. fucking loves it (and his parents are going to be pissed if they find out he watched it).