August 2009 Horror DVD and Blu-ray Guide.

Posted by Peter Hall - August 3rd 2009 @ 6:09 pm

August 4th:

It is a fact that I will see anything starring Val Kilmer, which is why I’m actually looking forward to THE CHAOS EXPERIMENT.  In every where but North America, it’s called THE STEAM EXPERIMENT, which I might complain about were it not an equally generic title.  And I’m quite sure it will be a generic movie, as well, but I’m all for a movie whose big plot is trap six people in a steam room and turn up the heat.  Oh, and it is all to prove Global Warming or something.

Then we’ve got two movies I’ve never heard of, SLICES and CRAVINGS both of which look pointless.  And speaking of pointless, we’ve already got a double dip on MACHINE GIRL after less than a year.  Tisk, tisk.

We do, however, get one new title this week that I can actually stand behind: NATURE’S GRAVE.  It’s directed by Jamie Blanks, who kicked ass with STORM WARNING (one of my favorite STV flicks of last year), and is a remake of the Australian film LONG WEEKEND.  I haven’t seen the original, so I can’t attest as to how necessary of a remake this is, but it’s an above average flick about a couple who go camping for a weekend only to learn Mother Nature hates them.  I wish it had more animal-on-people horrors to it, but as it stands it’s worthy of a rent down the line.

I could have sworn Simon Hunter’s THE MUTANT CHRONICLES was already out on DVD, but apparently I’m crazy.  Maybe it’s because it’s already played the Sci-Fi channel and has been available on DVD everywhere else in the world for well over a year (not to mention for download on the Xbox marketplace).  I still haven’t seen it, though.  I’m sure I will some day, but the buzz behind it was rarely outstanding.

And dipping into catalog world we’ve got Blu-ray releases of THE BEAST and BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, the latter of which is a title I’ll inevitably have to upgrade to.

August 11th:

This is kind of a throwaway week, unless you’re into buying catalog films newly available on Blu-ray, in which case you get the excellent classic STARMAN, THE NINTH GATE, and SEE NO EVIL (which is the worst of the three, but by far has the best price point).

Other than that we’ve got the ’50s Sci-Fi throwback film ALIEN TRESPASS, which I’ve heard is cute, and two unknowns; THE WEEKEND MURDERS and THE LAST RESORT, the latter of which I’ll probably watch because it looks like a tanned version of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE.

August 18th:

One of these days I’m going to go to a used DVD store and buy all of the Maneater Series.  Not because they’re good movies, but because I like to drink.  A lot.  Which is where WYVERN comes into play.  The only of the series I own is CROC (review), which is hilarious and highly recommended for people who can have fun watching something that was never meant to be taken seriously in the first place.  The only other unrecognizeable title comes by way of THE STRANGENESS, which is not to be confused with THE STRANGERS or THE WACKNESS.  Unless it’s about people in doll masks who like to sell pot to people living in the woods, in which case; Awesome title!

The rest of the week is packed with familiar faces like the third season of DEXTER (never got past watching the second season, though not for lack of interest – just never finished it), Jennifer Lynch’s SURVEILLANCE (which is an okay thriller, but not much of a horror movie), and THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT remake (review).  I think that last one is one of the more solid horror movies to come out this year, were it not for that stupid, stupid, OH GOD IT’S SO FUCKING STUPID, last 35 seconds of the movie.  I’ll still be buying it on Blu-ray, though.

August 25th:

Ah, the last week of August, also known as where already unknown movies remain unknown.  I’m not going to pretend I know anything about any of these movies other than what’s on the cover, so I’m just going to list the names: FRAYED, PROMISE, GHOST IMAGE, ABDUCTION, DREAMS OF THE DEAD.  The only two that stand out whatsoever are GHOST IMAGE (as I can see Elisabeth Rohm name on the front, and she’s from “ANGEL”) and DREAMS OF THE DEAD, which is apparently a self described “erotic haunting”.

And then of course there’s Anchor Bay’s CHILDREN OF THE CORN Blu-ray.  It’s a 20th anniversary edition, so I’d expect some solid features, but in all honesty I don’t care enough about the movie to even bother looking up what they are.

Netflixing the Month:

  5. DEXTER Season 3

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comments are closed
  1. adam charles
    August 3rd, 2009 | 9:18 pm | #1

    Big Trouble in Little China is the greatest thing ever made. It’s been rated higher than God’s creation of woman, and the George Foreman grill.

    I’m semi-intrigued about The Mutant Chronicles regardless of it being straight to blu-ray. I like the cast, & I used to play the card game when I was in middle school. Actually, what I mean is, I played the card game after having sex and smoking cigarettes. . . in middle school.

  2. August 4th, 2009 | 12:38 am | #2

    how many people are posting on this site now?

    anyways, peter- check out the italian film “Salo”

  3. August 4th, 2009 | 7:40 am | #3

    TJ, there are four people now.

  4. Brian
    August 4th, 2009 | 9:05 am | #4

    Caught MUTANT CHRONICLES on HDNET. Unfortunately, despite a unique look and the presence of Tom Jane, it is ultimately BORING. As hell.

    What I’m saying is if you are offered the choice between watching MUTANT CHRONICLES and something that isn’t boring, like, say…BRAINSCAN, you should watch BRAINSCAN. Even if you’ve already seen BRAINSCAN like 80 times (ha! who could watch BRAINSCAN so many times…er…nevermind).

  5. Jimmy.
    August 5th, 2009 | 8:46 am | #5

    there’s actually. 5 people here.
    I read this site all the time its awesome.
    thanks for your efforts Peter.

  6. Brian
    August 5th, 2009 | 8:48 am | #6

    That was obviously Christine.

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