Uwe Boll Can Talk Some Shit.

Posted by Peter Hall - April 9th 2008 @ 6:02 pm

On Sunday Scott Weinberg of Cinematical brought to the attention of the internets a FEARNet interview in which Uwe Boll pledged to oblige a petition requesting he stop making movies if said petition garnered one million signatures. It spread like dreadful Chocolate Rain, jumping from 18,000 signatures on Sunday to over 146,000 on Tuesday. I have great doubt it’ll even crack half a mil, yet alone a million, but that is neither here nor there because Uwe Boll has already issued a video response.

Correction. Uwe Boll has already issued a video response straight to my heart:

“Look, I’m not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look in my movies, you will see my real genius, you know. And if you go on May 23 and Postal, you will see that I deliver a movie what nobody else delivered in the last 10 years, what is way better as all that social critic George Clooney bullshit what you get every fucking weekend. So you have to really wake up and see me what I am. I’m the only genius in the whole fucking business.”

I love it. I love it, I love it, I love it! That is how you talk shit! With exuberance, with confidence! With hilarious abandon for all evidence. No retreat. When someone talks trash to you, which is what that petition was, you walk right up to their face, right past reasonable middle ground and that is where you draw the line in the sand. And then you extend that line to people who had nothing to do with the argument. AND THEN you accuse other people of being ignorant. That’s the key right there. Reckless disproportion.

Now, If he only he would become King Crazy and tell an unprovoked Eli Roth his Grandmother’s cunt tastes like skeletons. I would surrender every dime I have and ever will have right to him. Just before trying to cling to my escaping spirit a la the laughing weasels.

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  1. R.J. Sayer
    April 9th, 2008 | 6:09 pm | #1

    at a bar in Silver Lake i was loudly talking shit about Uwe. then the bartender interrupted me and asked what my problem was.

    turns out she’s one of his best friends and had a small role in Bloodrayne.

    i was kind of hoping she’d tell him and i’d get a personal “shit talking” from Uwe himself.

    shame it never happened.

  2. April 9th, 2008 | 11:43 pm | #2

    What. A. Tool.

  3. R.J. Sayer
    April 10th, 2008 | 2:53 am | #3

    my favorite part is:

    “I’m the only genius in the whole fucking business.”

    take THAT, Wong Kar Wai!

  4. April 10th, 2008 | 5:05 am | #4

    I think my favorite part is how LEATHERHEADS is “social critic George Clooney bullshit”… That or Uwe Boll is living in a time warp to either MICHAEL CLAYTON or SYRIANA.

    Either way the man has completely fallen off his rocker. And then smashed it to tiny pieces.

    And then ate the pieces.

  5. Matt W
    April 10th, 2008 | 10:38 am | #5

    As much as I hate his films, who am I to say anything? I saw Dungeon Siege opening weekend. Granted it was for the same reason I watch Shark Attack 3 on Sci-Fi, just sans the whole money spending.

  6. Sean
    April 21st, 2008 | 7:56 am | #6


    “But if you’re not going to make a faithful adaptation, why make an adaptation at all? Apparently, the folks over at Blizzard wonder the same thing, since they practically laughed Boll out of their offices when he approached them about making a World of Warcraft adaptation, the director confessed.
    ‘I got in contact with Paul Sams of Blizzard, and he said, ‘We will not sell the movie rights, not to you…especially not to you,’” Boll revealed. “Because it’s such a big online game success, maybe a bad movie would destroy that ongoing income, what the company has with it.'”

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