The Last Movie I’ll Ever See?

Posted by Peter Hall - March 25th 2008 @ 6:37 pm

My eyes are no one shade of color, they are a hypnotic starburst capable of stopping and or starting human wars.  While what people see looking into them may inspire spontaneous panty combustion, what I see looking out is more mucked up than THE FOG remake.  So, LASIK it is.  In two days I will be going under the optical knife. 

I’m going all laser – no razor blade flap cutting for me – so there are fine odds I’ll be A OK, but, for the sake of argument, let us operate under the assumption that I will go blind on Thursday following a FINAL DESTINATION-ized chain of mishaps leading to a broom handle turning the machine’s power knob to GigaLaser.  That means whatever I watch on Wednesday will be the last movie I ever see.  And I gotta tell ya’, there wasn’t too much of a debate going on.  I know full well what I would love it to be.

The Oscar Nominated STARSHIP TROOPERS may just be the last movie I’ll ever see.  I declare with a clear conscious that were you to hop in with Doc Brown, kick it up to 88 miles per hour and ask my younger self what the greatest movie ever made was, there would be zero hesitation.  While I’ve added on candles to the cake, I’ve knowledged up enough to realize TROOPERS is not the pinnacle of cinema, but it’ll take more than taste to peel the cold, cardboard, talentless hand of Johnny Rico from heart.

Any takers?


rss 11 comments
  1. Adrian
    March 25th, 2008 | 7:06 pm | #1

    LOL

  2. March 26th, 2008 | 12:48 am | #2

    I didn’t know you had eye problems. G’luck with the surgery. I’m sure you’ll be fine. Or your newly-adjusted eyes will gain the ability to see unspeakable horrors all around you. Either way, it should be an interesting experience.

    “My eyes are no one shade of color, they are a hypnotic starburst capable of stopping and or starting human wars.”

    Reading the things you write is like eating a stick of butter.

  3. March 26th, 2008 | 4:04 am | #3

    Without contacts or glasses all I can see is the big E. On Friday I will be able to see you through this monitor.

    Hide.

  4. Brian
    March 26th, 2008 | 10:03 am | #4

    You inadvertently reference the movie I would choose as my last. Hint: Not The Fog or Final Destination

  5. March 26th, 2008 | 11:10 am | #5

    Back to the Future?

  6. Brian
    March 26th, 2008 | 12:10 pm | #6

    Of course. Frankly I don’t understand how that isn’t everyone’s choice.

  7. March 26th, 2008 | 3:41 pm | #7

    You could pick a lot worse movies before going in for eye surgery than Starship Troopers.

    Like Zombi 2. That probably wouldn’t be a good choice.

    Good luck! 8^)

  8. tarquin
    March 26th, 2008 | 7:09 pm | #8

    I’d recommend something like the fountain. Little action and the story needed more work, but think they undercut aronofsky’s budget on that one. One of the most beautifully shot movies I’ve ever seen though.

  9. March 27th, 2008 | 6:53 pm | #9

    You should pick a terrible movie as your last. That way, if the surgery goes wrong you can say the movie was so bad it made you tear your own eyes out.

  10. Christine
    March 28th, 2008 | 10:29 am | #10

    I wouldn’t say combustion….
    ;)

  11. April 9th, 2008 | 1:44 am | #11

    Chris’ comment, “or your newly-adjusted eyes will gain the ability to see unspeakable horrors all around you” is perfect for your next mewvie, Peter.

    props to chris for my next movie

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