So about that horror box office thing….

Posted by Peter Hall - May 27th 2008 @ 7:35 pm

I’m not very good at following through with things in a timely manner. Not at all. Over one month ago I mentioned my grand ‘ole breakdown of the horror box office. My ambitions, my hopes, my dreams. I asked for input as to what was left off my list and I got what I wanted. Problem is that meant I had to redo many of my preliminary calculations…which was a hideous task I kept putting off.

Until today at least. The behemoth that is box_office_draft3.xls has been summoned from a neglected and now fragmented corner of my laptop harddrive. I’m on my second tall glass of Bombay Saphire and OJ (lots of pulp, no bloody glove) and feeling the swing of things again, adding in all the titles suggested and more.

So, if I don’t have this up in the next two or three weeks, please get on my case. Email me. Phone me. Call me the piece of shit I am. I need deadlines. Speaking of which, I’m already a month overdue for my interview with Javier Botet, the character actor currently seen evicting excrement from the intestine of anyone who sees [REC]. Oh, and I swore I’d start re-writing the remake script for THE LAN once I finished the fantastic Dan Simmons novel SUMMER OF NIGHT, which I also now need to write a review of. And a Netflix copy of ALLIGATOR has been sitting next to my TV for at least 6 weeks now.

I’m fuckin’ terrible.


rss 29 comments
  1. R.J. Sayer
    May 27th, 2008 | 8:32 pm | #1

    you know, i was just about to ask you about that interview with Botet.

    don’t be so hard on yourself, man, you at least finished SUMMER OF NIGHT. and you HAVE a copy of ALLIGATOR. half the battle, right?

    the only thing that pisses me off is now i can’t use my brilliant “vodka and OJ (that’s orange juice, not the murderer/NAKED GUN co-star)” joke.

    oh well.

  2. Sean
    May 28th, 2008 | 9:00 am | #2

    So you’re going to use all those movies I linked right?

    And for some reason, I had to sit there and stare at that line about Javier Botet. “He’s…evicting excrement? from an intestine? that sounds AWESOME”

  3. Brian
    May 28th, 2008 | 1:19 pm | #3

    Re-writing the remake of THE LAN or STAY ALIVE?

  4. May 28th, 2008 | 2:57 pm | #4

    Well played sir, well played.

    Asshole.

  5. Andrew Kevin Walker
    May 28th, 2008 | 5:12 pm | #5

    Relax Peter…in essence both THE LAN and STAY ALIVE are remakes of my masterpiece BRAINSCAN.

  6. Andrew Kevin Walker
    May 28th, 2008 | 5:14 pm | #6

    RIP John Flynn

  7. R.J. Sayer
    May 28th, 2008 | 6:11 pm | #7

    didn’t he die last year?

    but yes, indeed, RIP.

    in fact, i order all of you to watch Rolling Thunder in memory.

  8. R.J. Sayer
    May 28th, 2008 | 6:16 pm | #8

    and actually, STAY ALIVE is a rip-off of that ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK episode where the kid gets trapped in the giant pinball machine.

    which is a rip-off of ARCADE.

    which is a rip-off of the “Bishop of Battle” story from that anthology film, NIGHTMARES.

    speaking of ARCADE… apparently A.J. Langer (who i’ve been desperately in love with since, like, 1990) is reprising her role as Alice in a PEOPLE UNDER THE FUCKING STAIRS SEQUEL!!?!?!?!?!?!

    thank you, universe. i owe you.

  9. May 29th, 2008 | 10:38 am | #9

    He’s actually just in a mall, but has to run from a pinball inside of it. All that really means, of course, is that it shows up at the top of an escalator and he yells and runs away.

    Second episode of all-time, I believe (or was that the Phone Police one?), and easily the least scary.

  10. R.J. Sayer
    May 29th, 2008 | 1:01 pm | #10

    I think there’s more to it than that. I mean, there was that scary knight dude. and the magical super soaker and the throne and all that shit.

    and i’m actually pretty sure that the second episode was “The Tale of the Phantom Cab”, i know that online, that’s usually listed as the first episode. but i distinctly remember that “Tale of the Twisted Claw” was the first one they ran on Nickelodeon. before it was a weekly series, even.
    of course, my memory could be total shit.

    “Phone Police” was from the third season.

    wow, i kinda hate myself for knowing so much about that show.

  11. R.J. Sayer
    May 29th, 2008 | 1:06 pm | #11

    oh, and if you’re like me, and you want to regularly relive your SNICK years (with some booze, typically), the DVD season sets of AYAOTD? can be purchased at http://www.amazon.ca.

    sure, it’s a Canadian release (but it was a Canadian show, afterall), and there are no special features, but it’s region 1 and they do the US to Canadian dollar conversion for you on the site.

    so far, i’ve only purchased season 1. but i plan on getting 2 and 3 soon. as far as i’m concerned, the show died midway through season 4.

  12. Sean
    May 30th, 2008 | 12:53 am | #12

    Hohoho. I remember AYAOTD so well. The first one I saw was the one where the kid takes the clown nose and gets stalked.

    I remember the pinball one, too.

    Peter, you should do scripts of all the AYAOTD stuff and make it into a blockbuster hit of the summer.

  13. R.J. Sayer
    May 30th, 2008 | 2:10 am | #13

    i’ve actually got an idea concerning the AYAOTD? format brewing. there will be more news shortly on my blog.

  14. May 30th, 2008 | 5:09 am | #14

    Man, oh man. Sean, you have no idea. I spent months talking to everyone, saying we needed to get together and remake episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark and make ‘em R rated.

    The pinball episode has actually played during every single one of my Horror’s Not Dead Day Longs.

  15. R.J. Sayer
    May 30th, 2008 | 2:58 pm | #15

    you didn’t talk to me, dude.

    you didn’t talk to me.

    and for my money, it doesn’t get any better than “Tale of the Dark Music.”

  16. Sean
    May 31st, 2008 | 8:43 am | #16

    My favorite was The Night Shift, with the vampires going into the hospital.

    (RJ, I’m still gonna go to the book store and write down that list for you, just now got paid.)

  17. May 31st, 2008 | 4:27 pm | #17

    I could’ve sworn the first episode ever was that Nosferatu one where he comes out of the movie at some theater that a kid is working at. I remember because that was actually the first time I’d ever seen Nosferatu, and it scared me so badly that I, too this day, have avoided the original.

    All I remember for sure about the second episode is that it was amazingly UNscary. But I do think it was the pinball one, if I had to guess, that is.

  18. R.J. Sayer
    May 31st, 2008 | 5:33 pm | #18

    that was from the second season. “Midnight Madness.”

  19. Sean
    June 1st, 2008 | 7:53 am | #19

    The first was something about a taxi cab, the second one was the clown nose.

  20. June 1st, 2008 | 9:00 am | #20

    I love the people who comment on this website.

  21. Sean
    June 1st, 2008 | 9:16 am | #21

    As you should.

  22. June 1st, 2008 | 1:17 pm | #22

    Wow, I’m that far off? At the risk of sounding like I’m trying to protect my pride or something, I’m actually wondering if they aired differently where I am, because I was 99% sure the Nosferatu one was first.

    At this point I guess it’s a foregone conclusion that I have to go buy these and watch them again, though the whole experience will completely freak me out, I’m sure.

  23. R.J. Sayer
    June 1st, 2008 | 1:58 pm | #23

    i was always curious about the airdates of two episodes. i’m 99% sure that “Twisted Claw” aired before any of the others. as part of some Halloween special before the show was even announced as a series.

    but “Phantom Cab” is always listed as the first episode.

    i took this issue to the IMDb boards once. i’m going to have to go back and check on the response because i don’t remember what the conclusion was.

    as for other episodes, i don’t know. the only thing i can say is that i doubt it because the show only ran on Nickelodeon and was not in syndication that i know of. and in cable, they don’t change things up like that. it’s a national program. especially when the company that produces the show is the one that distributes/airs it.

    sorry, Chris.

    Peter – me too. here’s the scene that unfolded yesterday when my girlfriend entered the room while i was posting a comment…

    GF: What are you doing? (pause) Oh… Nerdville.com.

    ME: Yep!

    GF: (looks over my shoulder for a moment)Stop it.

    ME: I can’t decide what I love more… that this is an article about a massive Horror Box Office research and fact-finding project, or that the comment section has completely derailed into an Are You Afraid of the Dark nostalgia-fest.

    GF: Let me guess, most of the comments are from you?

    ME: Yep.

    GF: (shaking her head in disgust, walking away) Jesus.

  24. June 1st, 2008 | 2:22 pm | #24

    What cracks me up is that none of this discussion went on while the site was titled, “Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this website HorrorsNotDead.com”

  25. R.J. Sayer
    June 1st, 2008 | 2:48 pm | #25

    yeah. i’d always just kind of accepted that. i remember wanting to make a comment when you changed it… but, guess i didn’t.

  26. June 1st, 2008 | 6:13 pm | #26

    “sorry, Chris.”

    I accept your apology for raping my childhood memories with the cold penis of brutal logic. /peter

    I was pretty shocked to read (as a consequence of this discussion, of course) that the show was revivied in ’99. With Elisha Cuthbert, no less! Craziness. I’m guessing they kinda sucked?

  27. June 1st, 2008 | 9:03 pm | #27

    What ever would give you such a take on my style, Chris? I never!

  28. R.J. Sayer
    June 1st, 2008 | 11:09 pm | #28

    I. AM NOT. PETER.

    jesus.

    also, yes, it was revived with Elisha Cuthbert in ’99. and i’ve never seen any of those episodes.

    i’ve been trying to watch them on tvshack.net but, so far, to no avail.

  29. Sean
    June 2nd, 2008 | 2:58 am | #29

    I’m fairly certain ovguide.com doesnt have a site with it.

    /cough

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