If you have not already seen [REC] I hope you, handsome and/or gorgeous reader, have not yet seen the newest trailer for QUARANTINE up over at Yahoo. I hope that you never see the trailer. I hope you missed the earlier teaser trailer as well. That’s a lot of hopes in orbit of a movie I have no hope for.
The only way this trailer could give up more of the script is if it – - ah, fuck, who am I kidding, this trailer could NOT give away more of the script. Just a week or so ago, Will Goss and I were shooting back and forth about the manhandling of the marketing so far and Goss joked, “I bet the next trailer shows [redacted]“. I laughed that sad, resigned laugh of inevitably. Turns out the trailer does show that redacted bit. Although in fairness you may have a hard time even noticing that bit as you will be too occupied having every step of the movie shown to you. Every. Single. Step. And since QUARANTINE and [REC] are identical, if you’ve been holding out for the latter, that’s spoiled as well.
I hope (chalk up another) that there was a struggle in the marketing department at Screen Gems. I hope that someone in the assembly line stood up and said, “No, seriously guys, we should stop showing ‘em shit. If they see this, they’ll have seen the movie.” Even if that conversation was a forgone defeat, I hope someone at least brought it up. This is out of hand. I suppose having seen [REC] multiple times now that I have the foresight to know the context of the trailer’s images. I suppose others would be clueless that the trailer progresses, literally, from the film’s opener to its closer. Uninitiated may not notice now, but they sure will come October, after they’ve seen this trailer a dozen times and the movie they’ve just paid for is following it step by fucking step.
I was willing to let it go, to let my rant subside, but I can’t. Not when this trailer is hitting the front page of Digg, for crying out loud. I’m glad there aren’t early shouts of, “That looks like a CLOVERFIELD rip-off!” . And I will not preach to deaf ears, “No, see the original!!! American movies are bullshit!!!”; The majority of people will never see the original. Thems just the breaks. That isn’t an excuse for showing the whole Gods’ damned movie in your trailer, though, Screen Gems. You even show the one addition to the original script.
In the words of the wise man Gob, “COME ON!”