Last Week in Horror: 4/13 – 4/20

Posted by Peter Hall - April 20th 2008 @ 11:26 am

Last Week was a standard seven days for genre news. No breaking headlines, no juicy bits of intrigue. So instead of the normal pre-jump sum, I would like to express how many smiles I got out of an exchange in the latest Apatovian flick FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL in which 3 others dissect the stupid, stupid, stupid plot of a terrible movie that the fictitious actress Sarah Marshall made the jump from TV to Film for. A movie about a cell phone that kills people, which Sarah Marshall (played by the beloved ’round these parts Kristen Bell) begrudgingly justifies signing on to by saying, “Well, it seemed right for my career at the time.”

Oh PULSE, how shitty you are.

Theatrical Trailers and Clips

ROGUE – I’m throwing this trailer under the Theatrical banner, even though it barely qualifies

PATHOLOGY – Even more clips

Studio News and Attachments

Remakes

Random, Indie and Foreign News

Indie/Foreign Trailers and Clips

FRONTIERE(S) is out May 9th in these select theaters:

LA – Mann – Chinese 6
LA – Nat’l Amusement – The Bridge
NY – IFC – Village East Cinema
Boston – Nat’l Amusement – The Circle
Philly – Landmark – Ritz at The Bourse
Denver – Harkins – Northfield 18
Austin – Galaxy – Highland
Detroit – MJR – Southgate 20
Seattle – Landmark – Varsity Theatre
Phoenix – Harkins – Arizona Mills 24 (Tempe)

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rss 18 comments
  1. R.J. Sayer
    April 20th, 2008 | 4:18 pm | #1

    Kristen Bell? G-R-O-S-S.

  2. April 20th, 2008 | 4:25 pm | #2

    I will gut you like a fish I don’t even want to eat.

  3. R.J. Sayer
    April 20th, 2008 | 10:20 pm | #3

    She’s pretty much the worst actress ever. Sorry.

    and no, she’s not hot, either.

  4. R.J. Sayer
    April 20th, 2008 | 10:27 pm | #4

    of course, that’s just my opinion.

    no need for any disemboweling.

  5. R.J. Sayer
    April 20th, 2008 | 10:29 pm | #5

    DAMN, i didn’t even know that about Inside. i just watched it yesterday (rented from Blockbuster). what the fuck?

    fucking mormons.

  6. April 21st, 2008 | 5:14 am | #6

    Bummer, man.

    Have you seen Veronica Mars? Girl has got chops.

    Then again, if I correctly recall, you’re the heartless Grinch who hates Wonderfalls, too.

  7. Brian
    April 21st, 2008 | 10:38 am | #7

    Any man who finds Kristin Bell unattractive has a loose connection somewhere. And yes, she can act.

    I got Inside from Netflix and watched it last night. Anytime I get one of those “Blockbuster exclusive” titles on Netflix a title screens comes on that says “this DVD for purchase only,” or something to that effect. I guess there is no real way for the Weinstein’s to legally enforce their deal with BB.

    Inside was impressive but not great. The story is garbage but the gore almost makes up for it. There are a couple scary scenes, but it is hard to get too worked up when you are annoyed with some of the most illogically behaving characters ever. I’d be interested to see a full review from you, Peter.

    Also, is there a requirement in French horror films that a pet has to be killed? It isn’t shocking anymore simply because as soon as I see a cat or dog I’m just waiting for it to be in the same scene as the killer so it can be killed. Lame.

  8. April 21st, 2008 | 10:47 am | #8

    So the Netflix copy was the same as the Blockbuster copy, Brian?

    I’m holding off on Inside for my next horrorthon in two weeks, but you can bet I’ll be reviewing it right away. I’m intrigued as hell.

  9. Brian
    April 21st, 2008 | 10:55 am | #9

    No, it was the unrated version, which I assume is “only for sale” b/c the only “authorized” version for rent is at Blockbuster, which is rated R.

  10. April 21st, 2008 | 12:16 pm | #10

    Ah, gotchya, thanks. That was obvious in retrospect.

  11. R.J. Sayer
    April 21st, 2008 | 12:32 pm | #11

    No, never watched Veronica Mars. I was well out of high school when that show aired.

    so my opinion of her acting is based solely on Pulse and Heroes… both of which she is absolutely horrible in. Wooden, disconnected, and playing an idea. Acting 101, people.

    and i’ll go so far as to call her mildly attractive. but she looks kinda like some sort of human/panther hybrid that escaped Doc Moreau’s lab. so i would never call her hot.

    give me Linda Cardellini any day.

  12. R.J. Sayer
    April 21st, 2008 | 12:38 pm | #12

    as for Inside, i thought it was great. until the ending.

    those goddamn French can’t close a film to save their fucking lives.

    i disagree with you, Brian, about the characters. i felt they all behaved in a pretty realistic, human manner. as experience may teach you, humans are often illogical. again, until the end. i think then it all just fell apart.

    but yeah, the gore was definitely one of the highlights. i also thought it was shot and cut really, really, really well. nice score too.

  13. Brian
    April 21st, 2008 | 1:14 pm | #13

    R.J., I’m 28 and an attorney. Please hold all “experience may teach you” comments. I too was well out of high school when Veronica Mars aired. The writing and acting was wonderful regardless of the viewer’s age. Give it a shot.

    I don’t want to get into spoiler territory here re: Inside, but I’ll just say that if any of the characters had the ability to yell or scream the movie would’ve been over after about 20 minutes.

  14. R.J. Sayer
    April 21st, 2008 | 1:54 pm | #14

    Brian – since you’re an attorney I guess i’d better just trust you. Because, as anyone can tell you, lawyers have airtight judgement when it comes to film and television criticism.

    just fuckin’ with you, man. maybe i’ll give it a shot. or maybe i’ll just have a shot of tequila and remember that every time i see Kristen Bell’s face i want to get a kidney removed in Cabo San Lucas.

    again, fucking with you.

    i didn’t mean “experience may teach” as in “grow up, young’un, and listen to your elders.” sorry if it came across as such.

    i just can’t stand it when anyone uses a lapse in “logic” to judge the action of a character onscreen.

    people are irrational, largely unpredictable beasts.

    unless, of course, you were referring to logic as applied to the narrative. in which case, i simply disagree with you and hold all snide remarks and what-have-you.

  15. R.J. Sayer
    April 21st, 2008 | 1:55 pm | #15

    meant that to mean “I WILL hold all snide remarks…”

    with all due respect, dude.

    what’s 28 like? i hit that magic number in a few months and so far i’m pretty non-plussed about the whole late-20s thing.

  16. April 21st, 2008 | 2:26 pm | #16

    Wow, I didn’t realize I was running a blog for senior citizens.

    :P

    Brian, your spoiler-free comment made me laugh out loud. I can’t wait to see it now, haha.

  17. Brian
    April 21st, 2008 | 2:28 pm | #17

    No I certainly didn’t mention my occupation to bolster my movie-cred, just my age and experience. Not like 28 is old. I’m just very sensitive when it comes to Veronica Mars.

    The late 20s suck because working for a living sucks. I think by the time you reach your early 30s you grow numb to working full time…but right now all I want to do is watch movies and take naps.

    One benefit of being 28 is you start to capitalize the first letter of sentences.

    We will let young Peter decide the worthiness of Inside’s characters.

  18. R.J. Sayer
    April 21st, 2008 | 2:42 pm | #18

    haha. well, we’ll see if 28 finds me capitalizing first letters and proper nouns and all that shit. we 27-year-olds are just lazy, i guess.

    and yes, that’s exactly why it sucks. thankfully, i escaped the working full-time trap… for now, anyway.

    the downside to what i do, however, is the constant worrying about how the fuck you’ll pay the rent.

    oh well, i’d rather that than go back to the fucking cubicle farm. for real.

    i understand your sensitivity. i get the same way about Roseanne. seriously.

    i thought there was plenty of screaming in Inside. usually, i’m very observant about that sort of thing in horror movies. it really grinds my cheese whenever somebody does something stupid, like letting a chance to inform others of a predicament slip by. i didn’t catch any of that in this film. maybe i missed something, though. it’s entirely possible.

    my young, 27-year-old brain is so racked with ADD that i’m always getting distracted and missing shit. fucking MTV.

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