Horror 2008, a Retrospective: Part 3, July to September

Posted by Peter Hall - December 29th 2008 @ 3:15 pm

July to September, always anemic pre-Halloween hump for horror to get over.  Two thousand and eight twas no different.

Part 1: January to March.
Part 2: April to June.
Part 3: July to September.
Part 4: October to December.
Part 5: Events.
Part 6: Awards. (coming)


July:

LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE

Who Made it: Dir. P.J. Pesce, Scr. Hans Rodionoff, Starring: Tad Hilgenbrink, Angus Sutherland, Autumn Reeser, Corey Feldman

Links: No HND Review, Rotten Tomatoes, Trailers, Netflix

How it will be remembered:

As an unwanted check casher of a flick.  Those brave enough to see it speak only of unintended terrors within.


THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE

Who Made It: Dir. Chris Carter, Scr. Frank Spotnitz and Chris Carter, Starring: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, Xzibit

Links: No HND Review, Rotten Tomatoes, Trailers, Netflix

How it will be remembered:

Haven’t seen it, so I couldn’t tell you first hand. From what I’ve read, the overdue, awkwardly timed answer to a whisper of a plea to bring back THE X-FILES is a broadcast quality, extra-long episode masquerading as a feature film to appease jonesin’ fans and few else.


August:

JACK BROOKS: MONSTER SLAYER

Who Made it: Dir. Jon Knautz, Scr. Jon Knautz, Starring: Robert Englund, Trevor Matthews

Links: No HND Review, Rotten Tomatoes, Trailers, Netflix

How it will be remembered:

With a smirk and a grin.  JACK BROOKS: MONSTER SLAYER arguably could have benefited from more actual monsters, but then again what on this blue ball is not improved by more monsters?  Jon Knautz went head first into great, man-in-suit effects for this plumber versus reborn evil romp with none other than Robert Englund as the big bad.

Fun stuff.


MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN

Who Made it: Dir. Ryûhei Kitamura, Scr. Jeff Buhler, Starring: Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, Brooke Shields, Vinnie Jones

Links: HND Review, Rotten Tomatoes, Trailers, Netflix

How it will be remembered:

As a movie that got a public bitch slapping from Lionsgate for no apparent reason.  The gate decided to release MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN in 100 ‘dollar’ theaters across the US instead of the wider platform release one of the most stylish horror movies of 2008, thanks to Japanese cult director Ryuhei Kitamura, deserved.

Vinnie Jones is all kinds of cool in it, but I find Bradley Cooper miscast as the photographer who stumbles upon a serial killer on the subway with a deeper, ancient agenda.  Jeff Buhler’s script is faithful to Clive Barker’s short story, which was always my least favorite story in the first of the BOOKS OF BLOOD.  Fans will love it, though.  Even a non-fan like me certainly liked it.


MIRRORS

Who Made it: Dir. Alexandre Aja, Scr. Alexandre Aja & Grégory Levasseur, Starring: Kiefer Sutherland, Paula Patton

Links: HND Review, Rotten Tomatoes, Trailers, Netflix

How it will be remembered:

Hopefully MIRRORS will not be remembered as the first misstep in Alexandre Aja’s career.  Though more vitriolic nuts than I may say HIGH TENSION was a misstep to begin with, I’m still a huge fan of the French gore hound.  I even ranked THE HILLS HAVE EYES remake in my top 10 favorite horror films since 1990.  MIRRORS, a remake of the South Korean borer INTO THE MIRROR, stars Keifer Sutherland as a bitter ex-cop who yells at nuns and rent-a-cops for a mall with haunted mirrors.

The whole thing is goofier than it is scary, which to a degree saves the movie from complete failure.  Considering goofiness was not the intention, that’s not an all-out good thing.


STARSHIP TROOPERS 3: MARAUDER

Who Made it: Dir. Edward Neumeier, Scr. Edward Neumeier, Starring: Casper Van Dien, Jolene Blalock, Stephen Hogan, Boris Kodjoe

Links: HND Review, Rotten Tomatoes, Trailers, Netflix

How it will be remembered:

I’ll always remember STARSHIP TROOPERS 3 for its DVD cover, which features aproximately OVER NINE THOUSAND Photoshop lens flares.  This is an absurd, low-rent affair that knows it is an absurd, low-rent affair.  Does that make it watchable?  At least once with plenty of alcohol on hand.  Past that is pushing it.


September:

Full drought as far as movies are concerned with all studios holding onto their Halloween reserves.  The biggest releases of the month were SEED, directed by Uwe Boll, REST STOP 2, and PULSE 2 – all Straight To DVD.  I’m not going to bother writing how those titles will be remembered as we all know that full well.”

But let us not forget the coolest, sexiest bit of supernatural this year began airing:

“TRUE BLOOD”

Who Made it: Created by Alan Ball, Starring: Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer, Ryan Kwanten, Rutina Wesley, Alexander Skarsgård

Links: HND Review, Rotten Tomatoes, Trailers, Netflix

How it will be remembered:

I love “TRUE BLOOD”, which will easily go down as the second best vampire TV show ever made (second only to “BUFFY”).  It is a raucous, racy, update on all manner of inhuman creatures that thrive under the moonlight.  It has the best ensemble cast of any show on television in ’08, though with HBO footing the bill, that’s pretty much standard.


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rss 2 comments
  1. Brian
    December 29th, 2008 | 4:52 pm | #1

    I still say those lens flares are satirical in nature.

  2. December 30th, 2008 | 1:35 pm | #2

    When I first saw that poster, I knew it looked cheap, but I couldn’t put my finger on why, until you pointed it out. Now I can’t see anything else.

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