December is typically the slowest month of the year for horror, but few Decembers in recent memory have been this catatonic. Usually there is at least one genre film that opens on or around Christmas (often just for artificial controversy, cough), but nope, not this go around the sun. And DVDs? Forget about it. You’ve got the new X-FILES movie and ANAMORPH, then twenty or so movies no one has, for good reason, ever heard of. Surprisingly, THE GIRLS REBEL FORCE OF COMPETITIVE SWIMMERS is coming out this month under the title ATTACK GIRLS SWIM TEAM VS THE UNDEAD, but I in no way whatsoever condone anyone to ever watch it, especially under such an inferior title.
I set out to do a holiday buying guide, but the guide would have gone nowhere. Recent DVDs are a bust, as are books. Collectibles aren’t making waves anymore. AlexCF doesn’t have any new artwork for sale and, well, something of his would have been the crowning item to beg for.
I’m even having a hard time finding horror to casually watch. Seven OnDemand channels have failed me with their genre offerings, which is why I’m currently watching SHOCKER, a movie that doesn’t want to end. Man, who’d of ever called the way Peter Berg would turn out? Anyways… I’ll find some good things to review, I promise, but it’ll take some clawing, so please be patient.