Rob Zombie, The Internet is in Your Workprint, Downloading Your Movie

Posted by Peter Hall - August 27th 2007 @ 4:36 pm
Halloween Workprint

This is only fair.  I pointed it out when it happened to Hostel 2 and I’ll do the same thing for Halloween.

Earlier today a workprint of Halloween hit the ‘tubes, equipped with watermarks and all.  Just as with Hostel 2, I will not download said print, nor do I condone downloading it, but I will definitely acknowledge the internet perpetually getting a one up on, well, everything.

This, however, I will confess to; I watched the streamed sample from said workprint that is going around.  Mentioned clip is certainly not one of the many the studio has released.  You know how you can tell?  It is has nothing to do with the blurred watermark across the top and everything to do with the fact that it is repulsively terrible, conclusive proof that Rob Zombie has, quite literally if you watch the clip, just raped the rare perfection John Carpenter invented in 1978.  He didn’t even just rape it, he went Aftermath on it.  I also believe it is impossible to put that clip in any kind of context where it works, so I don’t even want to hear that excuse.

I am still going to be there opening night, giving my hard earned dimes to someone who might as well steal it directly from my wallet via the anus, but believe me it is ONLY out of obligation to review it.  I will still give the movie a fair shake – believe it or not, I am still capable of being objective even with evidence like this – but FUCK!

HOW IN THE FUCK DOES THIS PASS!?  HOW IN THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA!?

I think we all knew this was coming, but FUCK!

Malcom X once said, ‘a man only curses because he doesn’t know the words to express what is on his mind’.  I assure you that had he seen an atrocity like this, I wouldn’t have that quote to paraphrase.  Even he would understand how only an all capitals FUCK makes sense in this equation.


rss 7 comments
  1. Cody
    August 27th, 2007 | 5:32 pm | #1

    So you’re saying it’s shot time?

  2. August 27th, 2007 | 5:37 pm | #2

    I’m saying that if I get cirrhosis in my lifetime, it is because of this movie.

  3. Potomus
    August 27th, 2007 | 8:33 pm | #3

    Sometimes I get that angry because of anime. Then, I just relax and play with my huge collection of Gundam / Magical Maid models, and forget about the whole thing!

  4. jayoh
    August 28th, 2007 | 11:37 am | #4

    ummm. did you really just compare the struggles of Malcom X to a Rob Zombie movie?

  5. August 28th, 2007 | 11:41 am | #5

    People on the Internet need to relearn patience.

  6. August 28th, 2007 | 1:54 pm | #6

    Jayoh, yes, yes I did.

    John, patience and the Internet are now incompatible words. The Internet, beast slouching towards Bethlehem it is, is no longer complacent with things on-demand, it wants things before-demand.

  7. Brian
    August 29th, 2007 | 8:04 am | #7

    BONER! No, not really.

    How are people not disturbed that Zombie is so infatuated with rape? How does a rape fit into the Halloween story? Am I forgetting something? Yes, these have all been questions!(?)

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