The American ‘Host’ Remake Needs to be set in New Orleans Post-Katrina

Posted by Peter Hall - November 7th 2006 @ 11:57 pm
The Host

As you may know, a little Asian obsession of mine called The Host has hit the remake mill by way of Roy Lee and Universal Pictures.  While I may have some respect in the bank for Universal, Roy Lee’s decision to put Justin Lin in charge of his Oldboy remake has landed him in the red indefinitely.  Thus, I (and others) have zero faith in Lee to sanction a Host remake that has anything close to the originals’ family values or social satire.  Joon-ho Bong’s featured a dysfunctional family on the far edge of poverty whose prize daughter is kidnapped by the giant and grotesque product of an irresponsible and possibly retarded representative of the US military presence in South Korea who had ordered the dumping of a massive amount of formaldehyde into the Han River.

Mixed in with the rampaging and frantic searching for the kidnapped is a barrage of attacks towards both the US and South Korean governments and their wild inability to manage the situation.  It was this key social setting combined with Bong’s excellent story telling that launched The Host into box office history, becoming the highest grossing film in Korean history.

The only way I can fathom an American remake matching this key ingredient is if it is set in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.  The devastation allows for an excuse of contamination by fault of the US government.  The lives in question could be a poor family that stayed during the storm, thus their disdain for the government would be obvious.  Two tiny factors that allow for as compatible a transfer of cultures as possible, plus you then have a sparsely populated arena to run around in.

Think about it.  An enormous monster using the wreckage of yet repaired NOLA to store its snacks, people screaming at the inept government trying to manage the whole thing.  It would be glorious.

But, it will never happen.  It’ll be set on the O.C. shoreline and feature a millionaire family that no one could ever give a damn about.  And I’ll wake up from my dream of what could have been without Roy Lee and sigh after spotting the tears on my pillow.

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  1. andy sell
    November 8th, 2006 | 6:18 pm | #1

    Brilliant idea.

    you’re right, though. except it won’t be a millionaire family. it’ll be a bunch of millionaire teens.

    and it won’t be contamination. it’ll be genetic testing.

    somehow 9/11 will be worked into the background of the themes. probably through some throwaway line of dialogue.

    the internet will be featured prominently. most likely a youtube or myspace type of site.

    it will star a group of kids from (formerly) WB and ABC and Disney Channel TV shows. b.d. wong will play an asian-american scientist and have eight lines of dialogue before being eaten. one of the dudes from Entourage (not jeremy piven) will have a cameo. nick lachey, kevin federline, or justin timberlake will be in there too, or perhaps instead of one of the Entourage guys. wait. they’ll want someone from Entourage but won’t be able to get him. he’ll be talked about signing on and then will drop out or say it was just a rumor.

    raven simone will probably be in it, with lots of “sassy” dialogue.

    paul w.s. anderson will have a hand in the screenplay.

    alexander witt will direct.

    fall out boy will be on the soundtrack.

    look out for gabriel byrne’s cameo as some sort of military figure, and dee wallace stone as somebody’s mom.

    i weep for the horror fans of the future.

  2. andy sell
    November 13th, 2006 | 4:27 pm | #2

    just saw THE HOST on saturday night.

    it’s PERFECT.

  3. November 13th, 2006 | 5:09 pm | #3

    Fuckin’ a it is. Just curious, where/how’d you see it?

  4. andy sell
    November 13th, 2006 | 9:12 pm | #4

    Denver Film Fest.

    they’re also showing it in Boulder for the Fest. I think i’ll drive up there to catch it again.

    soooo good.

    met Scott Wilson, too.

  5. November 14th, 2006 | 8:11 pm | #5

    Damn good deal then.

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