My seething hatred for Stay Alive isn’t something I’ve kept private and yes it was born out of personal envy, but the movie is still an obvious turd. I just don’t understand how people are getting fooled by the promotional materials for this movie.
And this isn’t an isolated incident, like the 12 people who wanted to see Bloodrayne…
First there was the trailer. A trailer so horrorific in its presentation that I am still confident were an epileptic to view it, it would instantly launch them into a skull shattering seizure.
Then there was the one sheet for it. I thought this poster was a joke at first and that they’d never actually print it up, but then I saw it at the theater last week. Sad.
Then there was the guy sitting next to Joey at The Hills Have Eyes who, after the trailer was over, said something like, “Man, I can’t wait to see that!” Or maybe it was, “I’m such a tool.” I’m not sure which.
And today Bloody Disgusting publishes a news post with the title, “New Pics Keep ‘Stay Alive’ Looking Better and Better!” This I had to see. Surely Bloody Disgusting wouldn’t lead me astray with their top notch film analysis (read: their editor gave The Hills remake a 5 out of 10, while 2001 Maniacs gets an 8. Like I said, don’t ever trust their reviews.)!
You’ll have to click the link to see these “really f’n cool pics” – because I refuse to host them here – but I can guarantee you’ll only laugh. The Blood Countess, the film’s villain, looks like she was auditioning for Hocus Pocus. And that in-game graphic (which is supposed to be “next-gen”, hah) is pathetically lame. The only thing I thought would be close to interesting about this film was American McGee‘s handling of all the in-game sequences. What went wrong?
I may be more into the horror genre than a lot of people, but I’m still not an elitist. I’m not above watching any manner of horror film (Hell, I moved The Gingerdead Man above Seven Samurai on my Netflix queue), I just do not understand how someone sees any of the above evidence and then thinks to themselves, “No words…Should have sent a poet…”
“Really f’n cool pics”? I really am begining to think that this whole Stay Alive deal is just an April Fools joke come a week early and everyone is in on it but me.
Oh, and stop shilling BD. You’re one of the most read horror news sites out there, you should know better.